Lost without you
by bluegirl-783
Summary: What really happens after Joseph proposes to Clarisse in PD2... Clarisse thinks it's the easiest decision she'll make, but she may have to the most difficult thing in her life, and let him go...has some scenes from PD2
1. It's Time

_Authors Note: here's my next story, and you'll find that there may be some sections of the second film in it, but I will often gloss over it! Hope you enjoy the first chapter!_

_NB: The Princess Diaries belongs to Meg Cabot and Disney_

It was a bright, sunny morning, and the peaceful grounds of the palace, on the outskirts of Pyrus, capital of Genovia, belied the events and emotions going on within their walls…..

There was to be a wedding in less than a fortnight, and a coronation shortly afterwards, but, as Clarisse wandered in the garden with her loyal bodyguard, this was not the way she had planned things at all…things had been so much different at the beginning of the summer, only two weeks ago, but it seemed like a million years since then…

Princess Mia had arrived back from America two weeks ago, ready to continue her training with the Queen, with the eventual plan being that Clarisse would step down by the end of the year. Clarisse had been expecting that to happen….but, as usual, there was another unexpected twist. Viscount Mabrey, with an open eye for the royal throne, had suddenly produced his nephew, Lord Nicholas Devereaux, and claimed that he was the real heir to the throne. Clarisse, sitting in parliament and listening to the kafuffle amongst the members, had been shocked to her core.

"SHUT UP!" she said quickly, much to the astonishment of the entire parliament. Unfortunately, what made it all the more worse was that one parliamentarian remembered a long forgotten law that stated that any Queen of Genovia needed to be married to rule….

"We can't let them do it to her, Joseph, we just can't!" Clarisse had cried angrily later in the privacy of her own suite, to her loyal bodyguard and friend.

"I refuse to let them do to her what I was forced to do and enter a loveless marriage, all for the sake of continuity in Genovia! She doesn't deserve that!"

"Neither did you," Joseph said calmly, watching her pace the room angrily. Clarisse stopped for a moment, stunned by his words, before she waved them off and continued pacing.

"Yes, but that was different…it was a different generation, and I was willing to accept it…now, it's the 21st century, and arranged marriages just don't exist anymore…Mia is so young…she has her whole life ahead of her…."

"Clarisse," Joseph said, tugging at one of her hands, and she sat down next to him on the couch. "I know you don't want this to happen to Mia…but there's no other way, unless she…"

Clarisse glared at him for a moment before she pulled away and stood up again, enraged.

"How can you suggest that? Mia is the true heir to the throne, and I will not let her give up what she has worked so hard for! Surely you agree that she deserves this!"

"Undoubtedly," Joseph said pensively, hoping to appease Clarisse. He could fully understand Clarisse's rage- while Mia was slightly older than Clarisse was when Clarisse was married, Clarisse had only been Consort for many years…Mia would be Queen over the entire land. He agreed with her that Mia deserved it….but if only there was some way of overcoming the block that parliament had put in their way…

"It's so unfair, Joseph," Clarisse, mild again, said as she sat down next to him, and accepted her hand in his again.

"All I ever wanted for Mia was her happiness….and I don't think an arranged marriage is going to be an acceptable solution."

"I know it's not right…I don't want that for her, either," Joe said softly, touching her cheek and feeling relieved when she visibly relaxed at his touch. She turned to him with a slightly shy smile before he continued with his train of thought.

"When I had heard about that…well, my reaction would almost have mirrored yours…." He teased as she blushed.

"I can't believe I said that…I guess I've been spending too much time with Mia!" she chuckled slightly, and then turned serious again.

"But Joseph…" she turned to look at the garden for a moment before looking at him again. "What are we going to do?"

"I don't know, Clarisse," Joseph said honestly. "But what I do know is that you and I aren't going to let her go through this alone."

"Such a sweet man," Clarisse smiled tenderly at him, before leaning her head on his shoulder…somehow, he always made her feel protected….

However, until Joseph and Clarisse could figure out a plan, they had to keep going with the apparent program, and select a husband for Mia. The lucky candidate, selected by Mia herself, turned out to be 25-year old Englishman Andrew Jacoby, Duke of Kennilworth, and he was a gentleman through and through. Mia seemed happy with him, and Clarisse liked him a lot, but she still felt uneasy….she felt as though she was giving up her granddaughter into a similar fate as her own…She couldn't help but feel that she was letting Phillipe down….

However, she couldn't help but feel blissfully happy as she wandered in the garden that day, Joseph at her side, and her flowers blossoming wonderfully. Although the gardeners did most of the work in the gardens (and they did do a good job, Clarisse thought), she had a very definite opinion about what would work in the garden….

However, her feelings dissipated a few moments later as Joseph related the most recent incident involving Mia and young Nicholas Devereaux, who was currently living at the palace….Neither Joseph nor Mia understood her reasoning but, for some reason, Clarisse sensed that Nicholas may be less inclined to do mischief without his uncle around…But hearing the fact that they were found, together, in a closet, only made her more uneasy about the whole marriage…

"_Does she have the makings of a Queen?" _she asked anxiously as they walked down the path towards Clarisse's beloved pagoda…it was one of her most favourite spots in the whole garden…and she was glad that she had had it built several years ago…

"_She's young, but I've always believed in her," _Joe said reassuringly, longing to give her a hug but refrained, after seeing that the gardeners were working very close to where they were talking.

He could tell that the news had shaken her- he didn't approve of the marriage at all- although he liked and respected Andrew- but anyone could tell that Mia was much too spirited to enter a marriage like that. Thank goodness he himself had had the good sense to stay well away from marriage….but, he thought wryly to himself that was mainly because the only woman he had ever wanted to marry was the one walking beside him….Suddenly, the thought struck him…what if…

Meanwhile, Clarisse, unaware of what Joseph was thinking, continued her train of thought in regards to the upcoming wedding.

"_The wedding invitations have been sent out…she and Andrew make a fine pair…I…I think…she's very set on it, you know…"_

Joseph, now knowing what he was going to do, didn't want to hear about the wedding as he guided her towards a nearby bench, and summoned his courage.

"_Clarisse, my dear, forget about the wedding for a moment…" _he took a small breath as the gravity of what he was about to ask Clarisse finally dawned on him. _"In less than a month, you will no longer be Queen, and I will no longer be your Head of Security."_

Clarisse nodded, patiently and attentively…she was surprised to see that Joseph was nervous about something, but she couldn't imagine what…Joseph took another deep breath.

"_I think it's time we brought our friendship out of the shadows." _

There. He had said it…although it was far more than friendship to the two of them, the rest of the world saw it as an easygoing friendship, and he was going to be the last to dissuade them from that belief. He watched Clarisse a little anxiously….although they usually knew what the other was thinking, he was almost afraid to think what she was thinking…

Clarisse, meanwhile, was reeling- she had never expected this from him…she had always dreamed about it happening with him…and she had imagined her answer- always a simple yes- but now…there was so much else going on…

"_Oh, Joseph I…" _she managed to begin as he was looking at her rather nervously, and she was anxious to dissuade his fears…she loved him…and he had just asked her to marry him!

"_Yes, my dear, I would kneel if it wasn't for my knee replacements," _he joked weakly, more to break the tension then anything, before they sat down together on the bench, the tops of her fingers gently enclosed by his hand…

"_Oh Joseph," _she tried again, trying to find sensible, rational thought in her head, but all she could think about was his proposal…and how much she wanted to say yes, even at a time like this….But, ever present in her mind, was her duty…and her responsibilities…

"_There's a wedding to be planned, and Mia needs to win over the people all in less than 30 days."_

"_Perhaps it's time to consider the duty you have to yourself," _he said gently, hoping that he wasn't begging.

"_Oh!" _Clarisse looked away in surprise- she hadn't been expecting that. All her life, people had been telling her to consider everyone else's feeling and needs before her own, and now there was the one true man in her life that was telling her to consider herself before anyone else…it was awfully tempting, she admitted to herself, but the other part of her mind told her that there were other considerations….

"_Clarisse, my darling, please think about it. Please," _he added a second please softly, and she smiled tenderly at him…he may seem as though he was the toughest man in the palace, but whenever she was around him, he was always so bashful and shy…that was one of the most endearing traits about him…she loved him more for his insecurities, rather than pretending that he didn't have them. That was the one thing she would never doubt- apart from his obvious love for her- that he would never pretend to be someone he wasn't.

" _I will,"_ she smiled radiantly at him, gently rubbing her hand on his cheek, trying to ignore the strongest feeling in her heart that told her to say 'yes'…always…He managed to give her a slight smile, relieved that she hadn't rebuffed him….he could see that she wanted to say yes…

"So," Clarisse began after a slight pause, pulling away and looking thoughtfully into the garden. The only changes he could see in her were the deep pink colour in her cheeks, and the slight tremble of emotion in her voice.

"Do you….do you think…." She tried to think of something to say, but the momentous occasion that had occurred between them had jolted her usually calm demeanour.

"Clarisse," Joe said softly, pulling her face towards his again, and she looked at him with the wide blue eyes he loved so much. "Did I put you on the spot with what I asked you?"

"No…no, of course not, darling," Clarisse said shyly, not even aware that she had called him 'darling'. "It's just that…I've always dreamed of this happening…but not quite at this moment, exactly…."

"I really didn't pick the most opportune time to ask, did I?"

Joe asked, suddenly realising that it really hadn't been the best moment…what, with Mia's wedding and upcoming coronation, while trying to ignore Viscount Mabrey's attacks on Mia, it astounded him that Clarisse was still as calm and collected as ever.

"I'm sorry, I hadn't thought of it that way," Joe said, genuinely remorseful. "I just…."

Clarisse smiled at him tenderly- his proposal had meant so much to her, and she knew that she wanted to marry him….

"It's fine, Joseph…timing doesn't have to be perfect for these things…and I am incredibly touched that you did it now…I just can't give you an answer at the moment, but you do understand, don't you?"

"Of course I do…I was just very impulsive…I guess that's always been my problem…."

"It's one of the best qualities that I love about you," Clarisse said, softly touching his cheek with her hand. "I have always been constrained with tradition and protocol, but you…I've often envied you for your life, free of protocol and responsibility…"

"Not quite free of responsibility…there is a certain someone who is my biggest responsibility and priority…and I'm proud to have that …." Clarisse smiled at him

"Thank you, Joseph. I'm grateful that you feel that way…I've found that it's a little hard to pretend to be free of everything I have to consider in my daily life as Queen…responsibility, duty to one's country, duty to one's people…not that I don't enjoy that…But sometimes it gets irksome that I have so many other considerations on my time…"

"But, you do remember that time we were both impulsive?..."

"Oh yes," Clarisse said with a laugh, her eyes sparkling at the memory. "It was that afternoon when I was so sick of parliament, and you decided to do something very impulsive… very irresponsible, granted…But it was such a fun, impulsive thing to do…."

"But you started it," he retorted, and she blushed as she remembered the catalyst for their afternoon of fun!

* * *

_Clarisse sighed heavily, and shifted slightly in her chair as she tried to focus on the current speaker on the floor, but was failing miserably. It was a very warm spring day, and it was the final session of parliament for the week, but it was so hot…she felt as though she was over heating…and it seemed as if the air conditioning wasn't working. But she knew she wasn't the only one suffering- most of the parliamentarians were shifting in their seats, and she felt almost sorry for them in their wigs and heavy robes…almost. Glancing over in the corner of the room, where she knew Joseph was sitting, he looked dreadfully squashed up with other bodyguards, and she could tell that he was just as hot and bored as she, and even looked slightly annoyed._

_She shifted again, hoping that no one would notice her fidgeting, but the chair was getting very uncomfortable…unfortunately for her, Viscount Mabrey, who had been talking for the past half an hour, was watching her with a sneering smile._

"_Are you alright, Your Majesty? Would you like a more comfortable chair? You seem to be fidgeting a great deal…" his words seemed solicitous and caring, but Clarisse knew that he was secretly enjoying putting her on the spot. After so many years of being Rupert's friend, and lusting at her from a distance, Arthur Mabrey finally had the chance to go after Clarisse…But she wasn't going to give him the opportunity…she had almost had enough for one day…_

"_Actually," Clarisse said with a sweet smile, no one guessing that her temper was close to the surface. _

_"I am getting rather uncomfortable sitting here, on a very warm day. I was wondering if you could speed your talk up a little so that we can all leave? I know what you are saying is very important, and interesting, but I think it's a little too warm a day to be staying in such a confined space."_

_As soon as she finished speaking, there was a murmur throughout the crowd- Clarisse had made her point very clear, and even with a pleasant smile on her face, but everyone could feel the slight sting in her words. The Queen usually remained quiet and non-committal during most meetings, but she really must be feeling the heat if she spoke out like that! _

_Joseph was chuckling to himself- he could see that she was feeling hot and restless, and he knew that the chair wasn't all that comfortable…he glanced over to gauge Viscount Mabrey's reaction, and he was hard pressed not to burst out laughing…his jaw had momentarily dropped after Clarisse's speech but, now that he was recovering from the shock, he was beginning to glare…at Clarisse, Sebastian, the other members…anyone who didn't have their attention on him!_

_Sebastian Motez, sensing the surprise and Viscount's smouldering temper, quickly rapped his gavel and rallied to support Clarisse._

"_Yes, Viscount Mabrey…it's far too warm to be here for much longer, so could you please wind it up?"_

_0000000000000000000_

"_I shouldn't have done that," Clarisse said repeatedly as she walked into her blissfully cool suite, Joseph three steps behind her, as usual. _

_"I really shouldn't have let Arthur Mabrey get to me like that…I should have ignored it…" she trailed off as she placed her notebook and pen on her desk, and slipped off her shoes. __"I also shouldn't have been fidgeting like that!"_

"_Clarisse, you weren't the only one who was really suffering in there…and Mabrey had been talking for far too long…I was waiting to see if Lord Palimore cracked…" Joe argued as he watched her pace the room, fanning herself with a piece of paper. _

_"Besides," he added with a sly grin. "I really liked seeing that expression on Mabrey's face!"_

"_Joseph!" Clarisse cried, as she stopped pacing and turning to glare at him. "Stop it! You aren't helping!" _

_But her expression began to melt the instant she saw him laughing. "But, I have to admit, it was very funny…he looked dumbfounded for a moment, then he started to glare…"she chuckled, thinking of Mabrey's expression._

"_I think everyone in that room was surprised at you…" Joe teased as she sat down next to him, and he gently took his hand in hers._

_  
"I know…after all the years of being quiet and demure, I finally let loose…but it was just so hard to concentrate today…it was so hot…and the thought of sitting in that room for any longer just drove me crazy!"_

"_You don't have to justify yourself to me," Joe said, touching her cheek gently for a moment. "I've never seen you so worked up…you need to calm down a little."_

_  
"I'm sorry, Joseph…it's just that it's been so hot today, and after all those meetings, I just couldn't bear another meeting…I just want to relax," Clarisse said, feeling a little more relaxed since leaving parliament, and being only with Joseph._

"_Yes, it's been a hard day for you…hmm," Joseph said thoughtfully, sitting up straight on the couch and looking out the window for a few moments._

"_What?" Clarisse said, enjoying both the coolness of the air conditioning and his company._

"_I have just had an idea. Do you have any other meetings for this afternoon?"_

"No…thank goodness," Clarisse added with a relieved smile, before turning to look at Joseph again. "Why?"

Joseph stood up, and looked down at her with a mysterious smile on his face. 

"_Could you be ready in half an hour…Oh, do you mind going out for a little while?"_

"Yes…as long as I don't have an entire entourage of men following me…just you and me."

"Of course…I'll meet you in the hallway in twenty minutes!"

"Yes, but why?" she asked again, but Joe just smiled at her and raced out the door.

000000000000000000000 

_Twenty minutes later, Clarisse descended the stairs to find Joseph waiting patiently in the thankfully bereft of people. She was a little confused at Joseph's hasty exit, but she was also excited to see what Joseph had planned…It had been a difficult day, and she longed to do something impulsive, something away from the protocol and the pressures of the palace._

"_Let's go," Joe said cheerfully as he took her hand and led her towards the door, opening it for her to walk through._

"_Where are you taking me?" Clarisse asked as soon as they were outside. _

"_You'll see…" Joseph said mysteriously as they walked down the stairs, and Clarisse turned to see one of the palace cars, with the top down, waiting in front of them._

"_I just figured you needed a break from every aspect of palace life…you don't mind just going for a drive?"_

"_Of course not," Clarisse said happily, touched at the shy look on his face. _

_"Luckily I brought a scarf with me!" she said, waving her scarf from around her neck cheerfully._

"_Would you like to sit in the back seat?" he asked as he opened the door, and she shook her head._

"_It isn't ladylike for a Queen to have to step over a seat to get into the backseat…Besides," she grinned impishly at him as she sat in the front seat, and began tying the scarf over her hair. _

_"I've always wanted to sit in the front seat of a convertible…again," she added as they remembered the previous summer in San Francisco, when Clarisse had ridden in Mia's beloved Mustang._

"_Don't remind me of that…I could get angry again," Joseph said, rolling his eyes as he sat in the driver's seat and started the ignition._

"_No one knows we're going, do they?" Clarisse looked behind her anxiously and Joseph patted her hand for a moment._

"_No one knows, and no one knows where we're going…except me!" he added with a cheeky smile as the car began to move._

_000000000000000_

"_That was absolutely wonderful!" Clarisse cried as Joseph pulled the car up at a small par, an hour and a half north of Pyrus, and she looked around- there were several picnic tables, a children's play area, and a view that revealed the ocean not too far in the distance._

"_The wind was rushing past my face, and the landscape…oh, Joseph, thank you for taking me out of the palace, even for a little while!" she said as she removed her scarf and fluffed her hair out._

"_No problem," Joseph said as he walked around to open her car door, and helped her out. Clarisse smiled gratefully at him, and looked around her in wonder._

"_I've never been here before…I would remember if I did," Clarisse joked, before the spectacular view of the ocean caught her attention, and she gasped. They walked towards the railing, and she whistled when she looked over the railing, and saw how far down the ravine, stretched._

"_We're very high up, aren't we?" Joe said teasingly and she nodded, still looking down the ravine. She couldn't believe how far down it was…no one would ever be found if they happened to fall down there!_

"_You have come this way, on your way to the beach house," Joseph said as they stood at the railing, and he shyly moved his hand towards hers, but froze when she moved slightly. However, Clarisse had noticed his move, and she put her hand gently on his instead._

"_Yes…I can remember coming past here on several occasions," Clarisse said dreamily, staring out at the ocean as the breeze ruffled her hair. "But I must have been preoccupied, otherwise I would have insisted on stopping and having a good look out here…" _

_She breathed in deeply, appreciative of the less stifling heat and the breeze, and caught a whiff of the ocean. _

"_This is one of my favourite spots," Joe admitted shyly, and Clarisse turned to look at him with a look of wonder. _

"_Really? Well, this is such a beautiful spot to come to, Joseph, and I'm honoured that you were able to show me this place…it's so lovely," she sighed as she looked away again. _

_Joseph watched her for a moment- she had such a beautiful, pure and simple profile, and he again wondered why Rupert hadn't seen that about her…There was so much about Clarisse that Rupert had missed…_

_He cleared his throat slightly, and Clarisse looked at him in concern._

"_Are you alright?"_

_  
"I'm fine…I…I just," he felt like such a complete idiot, stuttering in front of her, but he wanted to kiss her. They had already shared several kisses over the years, but Joseph still wasn't used to the feeling that he could…he still felt as though he shouldn't…she was Queen of Genovia, after all, and the widowed wife of a beloved King…_

_Clarisse watched him with an affectionate look on her face- after being close friends for so many years, it was easy to tell what he was thinking…and she loved being able to do that, and know that he could do the same with her…She stepped closer to him, the spectacular view in front of them forgotten, and gently pressed his hands with her own._

"_Joseph, it's alright," she said gently, pressing her hand on his lips to prevent his stuttering. _

_"I understand…and, I was wondering when you were going to do it," she added with an almost seductive smile. _

_Joe, suddenly emboldened by her smile, moved forward and gently kissed her on the lips. For a moment, as always, they were aware of everything else except themselves…it was simply magical between them…_

"_A wonderful distraction," Clarisse murmured huskily when they broke apart, and Joseph pushed a tendril of her hair back from her face._

"_I thought you might like it," he replied just as softly, before moving in for another kiss. These moments alone were so precious…he had to take the opportunities when he could…_

_When they broke apart, Clarisse was shivering slightly._

"_Is there something wrong?" Joseph asked, instantly solicitous, as Clarisse smiled at him._

"_No…it just seems to be getting a little cooler out here, that's all."_

_  
Joseph looked around him, his hand still in Clarisse's, and saw, on the horizon, a group of almost black clouds…it was a brewing storm._

"_I think we had better get back…hopefully that storm won't hit before we get back," Joseph said anxiously as they walked back towards the car. "I'm just sorry that we weren't here for that long…"_

"I enjoyed all of this, Joseph…even a few moments alone are all I want," Clarisse smiled at him, gently brushing his face with her hand, before stepping into the car.

0000000000000000 

_Luckily, they managed to beat the storm back to Pyrus, but they were shocked to see several police cars in the palace grounds when they drove in._

"_Uh oh," Clarisse murmured under her breath, the few drops of rain she could feel long since forgotten. _

"_I'll sort this out," Joseph said hurriedly as he opened the door for her, and they quickly walked inside to find absolute chaos. Charlotte and her two maids were pacing the floors anxiously, while Sebastian Motez was talking on a phone, and the four policemen present were looking around in the main hallway. _

_However, as soon as Clarisse and Joseph appeared, everyone instantly ran to their side._

"_I hope you have a good explanation for where you've been for the last three hours, Joseph Bonnell," one of the Inspectors said angrily, as Charlotte collapsed into a chair in tears, and Clarisse's maids were hurrying to comfort her._

"_I can explain…I did leave a message to where we were going," Joseph said hurriedly, feeling more and more like an errant schoolboy as the rest of the police forced gathered around them, followed by the security guards._

"_Yes, and he wasn't very informative about where you were going…all he said was that you were taking the Queen for a ride," another nameless voice said, and both Clarisse and Joseph turned to see several members of parliament sitting on chairs in the corner of the room. _

"_Just what sort of trip did you take Her Majesty on?" came another familiar voice, and Clarisse imperceptibly sighed- he had to be here, right in the middle of the chaos. _

"_We just went for a drive, that's all," Joseph said again, as the leader of the police group took out his notebook and pen._

"_Well, Joseph…this could look very bad in some lights…the Queen goes missing for several hours, and the only man she had with her was her Head of Security…I think we may need to ask you a few questions down at the station…"_

"_Exactly!" cried Viscount Mabrey. "You may have taken her against her will!"_

_Clarisse gasped, and then realised that she had to take action…they surely weren't going to take Joseph in for questioning! She cleared her throat, and stepped forward._

"I'm sorry, gentlemen, but I cannot let you take my best security man away," she said as everyone looked at her in surprise. "This was actually all my idea…I wanted to go for a drive somewhere, and Joseph was very kind enough to oblige. He didn't want to go alone, but I insisted…I'm sorry for wasting everyone's time, but if you need to question anyone, I think that person would be me."

She looked around at the group of stunned men, who just stood there for a few moments, before the Chief Inspector cleared his throat in embarrassment. 

"_Well then…I'm sorry, Joe…but you know, we had to make sure…I'm sorry for the intrusion, Your Majesty…come on boys," he said gruffly to his three other men, and they disappeared quickly out the door._

_She turned her brilliant blue eyes towards the members of parliament sitting in a corner, and was pleased to see that they too were all looking embarrassed- even Viscount Mabrey._

"_I think I have an appointment to go to," one began, getting up and, after bowing to Clarisse, rushed out the main door, followed by the others._

"_I'm very sorry Charlotte," Clarisse said as she walked over to where Charlotte was still sitting down, wiping her eyes with a tissue. "I know it was very irresponsible of me to do that, but…"_

"It's alright, Your Majesty…it was just that some of the men were insinuating that I wasn't doing my job…"

"I'll talk to them about it," Sebastian supplied as he and Joseph walked towards the doors together. 

"_I won't do it again to you, Charlotte," Clarisse said, feeling bad that she had upset Charlotte._

"_Don't worry about it, Your Majesty…I understand why you went," Charlotte smiled at her, and stood up._

* * *

"And did Sebastian blast those men out…you weren't there when it happened, but I was, and boy…I always knew Sebastian had a temper but…" Joseph laughed at the memory.

"Luckily for Charlotte, I never did that again to her," Clarisse said with a smile, still feeling a little guilty that she had done it. "But it was worth it," she beamed over at him.

"I'm glad of that," Joseph said, and they sat in companionable silence for a moment, before Clarisse sighed and glanced at her watch.

"I think I have another meeting in fifteen minutes with Charlotte and Sebastian…I think I had better get back," she said with another sigh as they slowly stood up. "But first…" she turned to smile at him expectantly. "I think you needed …."

"Oh yes," Joe said, pretending to remember as he leaned over and kissed her tenderly on the lips. She smiled at him dreamily, before she leaned forward and kissed him again.

"I promise I will think about what you asked," she whispered as she pulled away, and straightened her jacket with a firm pull. He watched her a little sadly- he hated having to pretend that they were no more than Queen and bodyguard, and have to hide their relationship…he was hoping that, after Mia's wedding, they would be able to be a little more open….

Clarisse smiled at him tenderly, knowing what he was thinking, and gently brushed his face with her hand.

"Don't worry, my love," she said with a loving look. "One day, we won't have to hide at all…and that will be the happiest day in my life."

"As it will be for me," Joe said, kissing the top of her hand, and cherishing the touch of her hand, before they turned and headed back towards the palace….and back to their responsibilities…


	2. Reflections

_Author's Note: here's the next chapter! Merry Christmas everyone!_

_The Princess Diaries belongs to Meg Cabot and Disney_

They stopped holding hands as soon as they came into sight of the palace, and Joseph immediately dropped back several steps behind Clarisse- it wouldn't do for anyone to see the Head of Security walking beside Her Majesty. The gossips would go crazy, even if they were discussing some minor security issues…but there was already enough talk about them as it was….

Joseph stepped forward only once, to open the door for Clarisse, who walked silently through the door. They stood in the hallway for a moment, a slight embarrassed silence between them, before she gave him a brief smile and walked into her study, located nearby, to do some work before her meeting with Charlotte and Sebastian. Joseph, knowing that Clarisse wouldn't need him for a while, walked pensively towards the security room.

He didn't notice that Clarisse had stopped in her doorway, and was watching him walk away…

"Joseph, my man, where have you been?" came a familiar voice as Joseph walked into the room, and heading towards the jug on the bench- he was dying for a cup of coffee.

Joe turned around after putting the jug on, and his expression relaxed when he realised that it was Shades, half hidden by a computer screen, who had called out with him.

"I…I just went for a walk with Her Majesty," Joe said simply as he searched a nearby cupboard for a cup- some of the security boys didn't usually clean up after themselves, and he didn't like it that much. "Where's Lionel…I would have thought he would have been bugging you."

"No, I sent him off with James to keep an eye on Her Highness and Miss Moscovitz…I think they were going to play tennis…"

"He was annoying you that much?" Joe said as he poured a cup of coffee and sat down at the table. "Now you know how I feel when he's with me 24/7…or it feels like it," he teased, as Shades got up from the computer, and poured himself a cup of coffee too.

"So, why did you insist on leaving him here…I'm sure Her Majesty would have liked having him around!"

"I needed to talk to her about the cupboard incident with Her Highness and Lord Devereaux, and I didn't want young Lionel hanging around when I did that."

"Ohhh," Shades said with a look of understanding. "So, how did she take it?"

"It was only a minor incident, Shades. Everything is going to be fine…I just hated having to tell her that…she doesn't need it right now." Joe looked away, but Shades hadn't missed the concerned look in his eyes.

"I wouldn't worry about it, Joe. Her Highness is committed to this wedding, and soon we'll have a new Queen…not that our current one isn't great," he added hurriedly as Joe turned back to him with a raised eyebrow.

"It's just that Her Majesty needs other things in her life…."

Shades looked at him meaningfully, and Joseph laughed, getting the full gist of his meaning.

0000000000000000000

He and Scott had worked together for almost ten years, and Joe had quickly realised that he could trust Shades with anything- even with his secret feelings for Clarisse. It had accidentally slipped out one day, when Joseph had admired a dress Clarisse had been wearing to a dinner, and Scott had looked at him with a smile.

"You really like her, don't you?"

Joe had pretended not to hear the question, but his heart sank when he realised that someone else knew his secret…it wouldn't be too long before the entire palace- even the entire country- knew his feelings for Clarisse…

But, to his surprise, Shades didn't say a word to anyone about it- in fact, he had pretended not to know anything about it when Joseph had asked him about it. Finally, however, he admitted that he knew, but then added:

"Why should I tell anyone about this, Joe? This isn't exactly anyone else's business…and I like and respect you not to tell anyone about this…."

It was then that Joe realised that Shades was a loyal friend- he wouldn't tell anyone about his feelings for Clarisse…..

Over the years, they had had several conversations on Clarisse, but Joe was still cautious with what he told anyone about her. He had witnessed several situations in his years at the palace, where servants had developed feelings for their employers- in all cases, it was Rupert- and he had seen the repercussions- they had been fired, and everyone else severely chastened. He had been disgusted to find that Rupert had been flattered, in some instances.

However, he found that it was increasingly difficult to keep his ever growing feelings a secret, particularly when he was promoted to Head of Security, and spent even more time with the object of his affection, and he had finally relaxed enough to confess to Shades…he didn't tell him every aspect of their relationship, but Shades was around enough to see what was going on. Joe had to admit, it was good to have someone on his side….

"I'm not the only one on your side, Joe," Shades had said one day, with an enigmatic smile, and Joe realised that it was becoming an open secret in the palace…..

000000000000000

"I'm not sure she would agree with you in that respect, Scott, but I do- she needs more in life than work, work, work…." he trailed off as he suddenly remembered what he had done out in the garden half an hour before….he had asked the Queen of Genovia to be his wife! He had always wanted to do it, but there had always seemed to be something happening- the death of her beloved Phillipe, the trip to San Francisco to meet Mia, then the current crisis…the years had flown by too fast…But now, he realised that it had been the perfect time…she wouldn't be Queen in a month, and they would be free to follow their hearts….

He didn't realise that Shades had been talking to him until he felt a biscuit hit him on the face, and he abruptly came back to reality.

"What on earth did you do that for?" he complained, rubbing the spot where the biscuit had hit him.

"I was talking to you about the Princess's inspection of the troops, and you didn't answer my question…What is with you today? You're completely off the game today, and that's not you at all…what happened in the garden? Did you two have a fight?"

"No, not- nothing like that…it was lovely out there," Joe said quietly, realising that he had to tell Shades…he knew Shades would worm it out of him, and he wanted to tell someone...

"Come on, Joe…I know you're keeping something from me…" Shades teased, head cocked teasingly to one side.

"Alright, alright…I asked Clarisse that, once we're no longer Queen or Head of Security, respectively, maybe…we could bring our friendship out in the open…."

Joe reddened slightly, embarrassed that he was confessing one of the most intimate moments of his life to Shades….He looked down at his now empty coffee cup for a moment, before taking a quick glance at Shades. To his surprise, Shades wasn't laughing or teasing him…in fact, he was beaming happily at him.

"What?" Joe asked, a little confused at the obvious delight on his younger counterpart's face. Maybe, after ten years, he was finally going to start making fun of him…

"'Bring our friendship out into the open'….You asked her to marry you, didn't you?"

"That was what I was saying…but I didn't want to use those words exactly, with prying ears all around…But you didn't explain why you're grinning so much…"

"I'm grinning because you have FINALLY done what so many of us have been hoping you would do at least five years ago!" Shades said, chuckling softly at Joe's expression of horror.

"You haven't told anyone…have you?"

"No, but I'm not the only one who has noticed the looks and laughs you two exchange a million times a day! I'm not the only one who knows…and approves," he added quickly as Joe stared, thunderstruck, at Shades.

How many people knew about their 'friendship'? He was more concerned about Clarisse's reputation than his own…

"I…I….I…" he stuttered, for once completely lost for words, and Shades patted him reassuringly on the arm.

"It would be hard not to notice the two of you when you're together…she absolutely adores you, and you worship the ground she walks on…I'm just wondering why you didn't do it earlier…"

"I couldn't…there would have been too much ribbing about the Queen marrying belong her station…even now," Joe said thoughtfully, the euphoria of the proposal slowly wearing off, as another thought dawned. "I'm afraid that people are going to say that I'm marrying her to become a royal or that I'm not good enough for her…"

"You really shouldn't worry about what people say…actually you don't, except when it comes to her…She loves _you_, you're the one she always wants to have around…you don't see the way she lights up when you come into the room, or the looks she gives you…I have, and it's beautiful to see how much love is there…I don't think she ever cared as much about His Majesty as she does about you…"

Shades finished, and looked earnestly at him, and Joseph gave him a dry smile.

"Have you been reading some of those self help books or something? I don't think I've ever heard you say anything like that before."

"Well, this is an important moment, and you need to believe that you are the best thing that's happened to her- apart from Her Highness- and you can't let that go…So, what was her reaction?"

"I think I chose the wrong moment to ask- she's so preoccupied with the wedding at the moment, and Mia's training, and I just didn't think about that. She was very surprised…and it gave her the chance to think about herself, for once."

"Did she say yes or no?"

"She can't give me an answer yet…I think I put her on the spot, and she needs time to think…I can't blame her for that…I really didn't pick the best time to do it, but we were alone and…"

"She didn't say no," Shades said gently. "And I know, when she does make her choice, it won't be a choice…it will be a natural decision…yes…."

"I hope so," Joe said quietly, knowing that he was right, but still feeling something different could happen.

"But, I think this is absolutely fantastic," Shades said with a broad grin. "I've wanted this to happen for so many years…."

"But you can't talk to anyone about this….not even Charlotte," Joe said anxiously. Their relationship was already a cause for discussion around the palace, and he didn't want to cause a major riot over his proposal.

"I promise, Joe…you just have to let me know what she says…But I'm pretty sure I know what she's going to say."

"I will."

There was a long pause, before Scott stretched back at the computer screens.

"Uh oh, the Princess is back from her tennis match, so Lionel shouldn't be too far away…"

Joe groaned- he was Sebastian's nephew, and a nice boy, but he drove him crazy with the way he literally attached himself to him…he didn't have much privacy at all….

"Don't worry, there are some little jobs he can help me with," Shades said with a rueful smile as he stood up, and headed towards the door.

"Thanks Scott," Joe called after him with a relieved smile- he needed to have a slight break after what had happened that afternoon…..

He sipped his coffee and leaned back in his chair, appreciating the silence of the security room- he needed a little time to get his thoughts back in order. Clarisse would be in meetings for most of the afternoon, and it would give him time to calm down…He was secretly happy that he had done it, but he was also rather embarrassed that he had been so impulsive….

When he had first come to work at the palace, he had never imagined that it would happen-as a junior, he spent much of his first few months learning the ropes of the palace, and getting know the routine. He had only met the Queen a few times before he was permanently assigned to her, but he liked her when he did see her, even if it was mostly from the distance… He had never imagined how this all came about… in fact, he hadn't imagined the connection that would exist between them from the instant they talked to each other…..

* * *

"_Joe, have I got a job for you!" his supervisor, and Head of Security, Thomas boomed as he strode into the security room, and glanced around for Joseph. He had been working at the palace for nearly eighteen months now, and it was time that he began to work much closer with the Queen. Thomas was very impressed with the young man, and he had begun to suspect that he would be training him to become, eventually, the Queen's Head of Security…_

"_Yes, sir!" Joe said, standing up from where he was sitting, nursing a cup of coffee, and bored out of his mind._

"_I need you to escort Her Majesty around the garden…she would like to go for a walk, and I thought you would like to come with her…"_

"_How long does she usually walk around the garden?" Joe asked, ready to his duty, but a little disappointed that it wasn't for the King himself._

"_Who knows," Thomas shrugged, sitting down heavily in the chair that Joe had vacated. "It may only be 10- 15 minutes or longer…But it really is a lovely garden, Joe, and she has had a lot of work done in there." _

"_She has?"_

_  
"Of course…you may not see her actually doing any of the gardening herself, but her garden is one of her passions…she really loves it. I thought it was about time that you had the chance to have a guided tour of the garden."_

_Thomas didn't add that Clarisse didn't particularly like any of the other men assigned to her, and she had requested Joseph particularly, although she didn't mention his name._

_Joe was slightly nervous as he walked upstairs, and then went to the left to her private study. The doors were shut, but the guards opened one silently and he walked quietly in. She was still working at her desk, her personal assistant Jane sitting opposite her with a notebook and pen, and her maids hovering in a corner. Although Her Majesty didn't look up, Jane did, and Joe almost quailed at the black look she was giving him. She walked hastily over to him._

"_Didn't Thomas tell you that you were supposed to wait outside until I came to find you?" she hissed angrily, and Joe shook his head quickly. Jane was in her mid fifties, with grey hair and dark eyes, and he was just scared looking at her._

"_No he didn't…I'm sorry," he said quietly, trying to pretend that he wasn't intimidated by her and Jane rolled her eyes skyward in disgust._

"_Well, GO and wait outside until Her Majesty is ready," she said with clenched teeth._

_Just as he was about to turn to leave, Her Majesty lifted her head from her paperwork, and smiled. For a moment, Joe's heart almost stopped- it was the most beautiful smile he had ever seen…_

"_Hello," she said in a soft and cultured voice, putting down her pen. "You must be my escort."_

_  
"Yes ma'am'" Joe said, before Jane interrupted him._

"_He didn't realise that he was supposed to wait outside until I came to find him, ma'am," she said, smiling simperingly at Clarisse, and walking back towards her. _

"_That doesn't matter," the Queen said calmly. "I can understand what happened, and I really don't mind that it did."_

"_I'll be outside," Joe said, turning away again, before Clarisse stopped him with another warm smile, and stood up._

_  
"That won't be necessary, I'm ready for my break now…I won't be too long, Jane," she said easily, walking past a clearly fuming Jane, and leading Joe out the doorway._

_000000000000000_

"_I love this time of the day…" she said, taking a deep breath of fresh air, and gazing around with obvious pleasure, before walking down the stairs and onto the manicured green lawns. Joe looked around him in awe- he had been incredibly impressed with the garden when he had seen it before, but it impressed him even more now knowing that the Queen was an active participant in all aspects of the garden. He followed her down into her rose garden, ready to look around, when she stopped and turned around, looking at him with her beautiful blue eyes._

"_You're Joseph, aren't you?" she asked with a warm smile, and again Joe almost melted at her smile. He knew that she was considered one of the most beautiful women in Genovia but, at that moment, he knew she was the only beautiful woman in Genovia. She had beautiful, clear skin, soft blonde hair, a lovely figure after two children, a winning and wonderful smile, and the most striking pair of blue eyes he had ever seen… _

_He shook his head, and tried to concentrate on what the Queen was saying._

"Yes, ma'am," he said in a voice that sounded as though he swallowed a frog.

"How long have you been working here?" she asked, still standing facing him and gazing directly into his eyes. Joseph was embarrassed…here was the Queen of Genovia, a busy woman, and talking to him…a lowly security guard. 

"_About eighteen months, ma'am. I spent the first six months learning about the palace protocol, and then I've been around…"_

"Yes, I've seen you," Clarisse chuckled softly. "I've seen you at many of the functions we've been attending or held. How did you find them all?"

"Fine…"he said easily, before her raised eyebrow made him change his mind. "Actually, rather boring," Joe couldn't believe what he had said, and he was almost expected her to tell him off, but he was surprised to hear her laugh. 

'_Thank goodness someone else thinks like that…I thought I was the only one!" _

_Joe looked at her in surprise, and she laughed even harder at his expression._

"_What? Surely you can see that most of the guests are at least 14 years older than me…I guess I must have shocked you just then…"_

"_A little," Joe admitted, and she stopped laughing and turned to continue her walk. However, to Joe's surprise, she didn't continue her walk silently…she kept stopping to talk with him, and tell him about some of the flowers…It was well over an hour before she realised what the time was._

"_I must get back, otherwise I will have more work to do tomorrow," she said with a sigh, before turning to Joseph. "Thank you for coming with me, Joseph. Most of the others usually don't like this…"_

_  
"It was a pleasure, Your Majesty, and if you ever want someone…" he stopped, realising how impertinent it sounded, but she smiled at him._

"_I'd like that…"_

* * *

Meanwhile, Clarisse was sitting at her desk, her notes and preparation for the next meeting with Charlotte and Sebastian spread all over her desk, but she wasn't looking at any of it…It was an important meeting, one of her final meetings before Mia took over as Queen in less than three weeks, but she somehow couldn't think beyond that afternoon…

Fiddling absentmindedly with her pen, she stared blankly out into the sun filled garden, reliving the moment that had just occurred out in the garden…the moment she had dreamed about for so long, and with the only man she had ever really, truly loved….

"_It's time we brought our friendship out of the shadows,"_ kept ringing in her head, and she couldn't get the phrase out of her mind…She loved it, particularly as they both knew that what they shared was far more than friendship, especially with the kisses, she thought with a shy smile to herself.

However, in order to keep the already wagging tongues of the palace, parliament and country still, it was best that they pretended it wasn't anymore than friendship. They both knew that their already close relationship was being discussed in the halls of parliament, but they didn't want to give them any ammunition….she cared about Joseph too much to allow them any of that.

She was grateful when Joseph had suggested that they be discreet, and keep their relationship (or 'friendship' as he called it) in darkness…..

"In the eyes of the country, you are married to a beloved King and it wouldn't do for you to have feelings for someone else…even if your husband is a well known playboy…."

"But they expect his wife to be a model of virtue, never doing anything wrong," Clarisse said with a sigh, resenting, not for the first time, that the country (but most particularly parliament) had double standards for their King and Queen.

The King was applauded and admired for his extramarital activities; yet, for Clarisse, she was expected to be a constant, loving and devoted wife, ever at his side and approving of everything he did….she disliked it intensely, but had accepted it….until Joseph came into her life…

"Never having a private life," she added wistfully, almost bitter, before Joseph took her hand and squeezed it gently.

'Don't worry….one day, you'll have all that, and not have to worry about what anyone says."

"If only I could, Joseph," she said softly- even when Phillipe succeeded Rupert onto the throne, she would still have to maintain a façade….

Yet, that afternoon, it had been such a momentous step in their relationship- she hadn't imagined that Joseph would have been happy to hide their romance for the rest of his life (and she knew she wouldn't…she would have wanted it out in the open), but it had been so unexpected….She couldn't help but notice that he had been extremely nervous when he had asked, and her heart had gone out to him, especially when he realised that it hadn't been the perfect time to propose…But she had loved the timing….if only she could have given him the answer he wanted, right then….the answer she wanted to give him….

She had never imagined, in her wildest dreams, that she would have fallen so deeply in love with her bodyguard…but he was more than a bodyguard, and always had been…Even when they first met, when he first joined the palace guards, she had felt a connection with him that seemed to go past anything she had ever known with Rupert…..

* * *

_Clarisse hurriedly walked down the hallways- she had the feeling that she was going to be terribly late, and Rupert would not be pleased._

"_The young men will have been waiting for you for at least half an hour, and you can reward them by being early," he said with a slightly chiding look when they had gone through the final plans at lunchtime._

"_I'll be there on time," she said softly, determined not to let him down, but disliking the fact that he was talking to her like she was a child. They had been married 12 years, and the interest that he had initially shown her had become almost indifference…in fact, his indifference had begun about their fifth year of marriage. It was a lonely life, but she was used to it, and she had accepted that this would be her lot for the rest of her life._

"_Are we going to be late?" she murmured to her personal assistant, Jane, who was striding two paces behind her. Jane was in her early fifties, and very efficient at her job, but Clarisse didn't particularly like her…Rupert, however, had felt that she would be a guiding influence on her during their early years at the palace. Clarisse hadn't had the courage to argue, but her next assistant would be younger, and less stern and remote…_

"_No, Your Majesty. I made sure that we left the suite ten minutes earlier than usual," Jane said with a slightly superior smile, which made Clarisse dislike her even more._

"_Thank you, Jane," she said with a tight smile, and turned her mind to the task at hand. She and Rupert were about to meet the new security recruits for the palace- almost half of their current crew were about to retire, and Rupert had been enthusiastic about recruiting more. A group of 100 or more had been through the gruelling 6 week training session, and now Rupert and Clarisse were meeting the 30 successful candidates._

_As they approached the main doorway- the men were waiting outside- she smoothed her linen skirt down, and saw that Rupert was waiting at the doorway for her. He turned and gave her a cool smile as she approached._

"_Thank you for coming early, Clarisse. It's actually quite hot out there, and I don't want our men suffering for too long!" They waited for the doors to open, and their arrival to be announced, and they walked outside, onto the balcony, and then down the steps. _

_As Rupert had said, the line of 30 men were standing patiently to attention in the sun- and, to Clarisse's horror, they weren't wearing any hats!_

_Rupert, with Clarisse a step behind him, began at the end of the line, closest to the palace, as the Head of Security presented each man, who saluted to the royal couple and Rupert gave him a quick welcome before moving on. It was Clarisse's duty to give them a more welcoming smile, as if she was pleased to meet each one of them, and a soft 'Welcome to the Palace' before moving on… They were three people away from the end when the Head of Security said:_

"_Presenting Mr Joseph Bonnell."_

_Clarisse, momentarily distracted by the flies, missed the initial introduction, but when she met the dark eyes of the tall and handsome man in front of her, she suddenly felt a tingling sensation, followed by slight dizziness, but it wasn't from the heat…She was puzzled- she had been doing this for the past 5 years, and had never felt this reaction. She was usually pleased (or pretended) to meet them, but this was different…she actually wanted to get to know him, know everything about him and tell him everything about her. Before she could wonder about the feeling, Rupert had stopped to greet him._

"_Joseph, welcome to the palace," he said jovially as the young man saluted him, before moving onto the next man. Clarisse stepped in front of him, and gave him a warm smile, still wondering about the feelings this man was making her feel- there was something about him that she instantly trusted…there was a connection that she couldn't explain, as she gazed at her with his dark eyes, and smiled slightly at her._

'_Hello, Joseph. Welcome to the palace," Clarisse said softly, as Joseph saluted again, not realising that he only had to do it for the King. She smiled warmly at him, not wanting to move on but rather stop and talk, but she knew that there would be people gossiping if she stopped to talk._

_So, with a feeling of regret, she followed her husband to the next man, but not forgetting the feelings he had stirred in her…a sense of connectedness…almost a silent bond…But that was ridiculous, she said sternly as she smiled vaguely at the next man. She didn't know him at all, and he would probably be working for Rupert anyway, so it didn't matter…Still……_

* * *

She gave a slight start when she heard a sharp rap on the floor outside, and the doors swung open. She stopped fiddling with her pen, and stood up to greet her Prime Minister and her personal assistant, Charlotte.

"Prime Minister," she said formally, holding out her hand for him to kiss lightly, but her warm smile belied the formality of the situation- they had worked well together for eight years, and she liked him very much.

"Good afternoon Your Majesty," Sebastian, knowing the protocols that dictated meetings, said, accepting her proffered hand before sitting down at the chair she waved to.

"So," Clarisse said, sitting down and putting her glasses on, perusing the notes she had taken. "This meeting is about the upcoming coronation plans…and I would also like to let you know that I don't want to leave any of my work for Mia to finish. She's going to be busy enough as it is."

"Fair enough, Your Majesty, and I completely agree with you. So, onto the coronation…."

While Charlotte and Sebastian talked about details of the coronation, due to be held at least a week after the royal wedding, Clarisse tried to pay attention, but her thoughts continued to turn towards Joseph and his proposal…

"What do you think, Your Majesty?" Sebastian turned to Clarisse, and she almost jumped out of her skin when she realised that they were looking at her expectantly.

"I'm sorry, Sebastian, I missed that…What were you saying?" she asked with a slightly embarrassed smile, glancing down at her page of notes, and not understanding one word she had written. Sebastian and Charlotte exchanged a glance- it was clear that the Queen hadn't been paying attention, which rarely, if ever, occurred….

Charlotte looked at her with narrowed eyes as Sebastian repeated what he had said…it was obvious that something was going on with Clarisse…perhaps she was upset with Joseph…she knew that they had spent an hour in the garden…But she didn't look upset- in fact, she looked almost radiant…She had only seen that look whenever Joseph was around….Charlotte could still remember the first time she had seen Clarisse look at Joe like that- it had been so beautiful that she had felt like she had been intruding….

* * *

_It had been just a normal day when Clarisse had very few public appearances, so she decided to complete the ever growing pile of paperwork that waited on her desk._

"_Just when I think I have some sort of control over this, it suddenly grows again," Clarisse said with a dry smile._

_Charlotte herself had spent most of the morning at her side, busily taking notes when necessary, sending the maids on errands or taking papers to be sent to the Prime Minister's office. She was exhausted, and could only imagine how the Queen was feeling…but she seemed to be indefatigable, continually signing papers and not even stopping for a break!_

_Charlotte had been working for the Queen for 2 years, but she had been impressed with what she had seen and heard- the Queen, if it was at all possible, worked harder than her husband! Rupert had a lot of meetings, and spent a lot of time travelling, but Clarisse always seemed to be doing the paperwork, or attending functions…Charlotte had been stunned at how much she did, and with such ease! However, she also knew that it was a way to fill the empty void in her life…_

_It seemed that she had everything- a handsome husband, two grown up boys, and living the life most people could only dream about- but Clarisse Renaldi was, in reality, very unhappy. Her husband was undeniably handsome, but he attracted many bevies of women, which he often used to his advantage, hurting Clarisse terribly. Her boys had grown up- and while Phillipe adored his mother, Pierre was much closer to his father, and rarely had time for her. As for her glamorous life in the palace, Clarisse was essentially a shy woman, and none of the glitz and glamour appealed to her- while Rupert loved it, she much preferred reading a good book, or gardening…It made Charlotte feel sad that Clarisse's life was so empty, but at least she had devoted Phillipe, and others such as herself, or Joseph Bonnell, working for her…_

_Joseph had recently been promoted to her Head of Security, and it was a promotion he deserved- he was always there when she needed him, and even times when she didn't, and it was obvious that the Queen trusted him. They were friends, and Charlotte was glad for that- it was obviously a lonely life as Rupert's wife, and Joseph seemed to give her some laughter._

"_Is that it, Charlotte?" Clarisse asked as she signed the last paper and put her pen down carefully on the desk, before looking at her personal assistant with her clear, direct blue eyes._

"_Yes, ma'am…everything has been done, and you're fully prepared for tomorrow's parliament session," Charlotte said a little stiffly, still wanting to make a good impression, but unaware of the fact that Clarisse was already impressed, and enjoyed working with her._

"_Do I have any spare time at all?"_

_  
"Yes, ma'am- you have an hour between meetings," Charlotte said, walking around to begin collecting the papers Clarisse had signed._

"_I see…Could you send Joseph in to see me, please?"_

_  
"No need to," came a voice from in front of them, and they both looked up to see Joseph, clad in black as usual, standing in the doorway. Charlotte finished collecting papers, and glanced at Clarisse to get dismissed, and the look she saw there almost took her breath away…she was looking at Joseph with such adoration and tenderness…she was smiling broadly at him, and Charlotte realised that, for her, there was no one else in the room. She glanced over at Joseph, and almost got teary eyed- he was looking at her with such warm and tender affection…Suddenly, Charlotte realised- they were in love with each other!_

"_Thank you…would you like to accompany me on a walk, Joseph?" Clarisse said, breaking the moment, and standing up from her desk._

"_Yes I would…hello Charlotte," he said, finally realising that Charlotte was in the room._

"_Hello, Joe," Clarisse said, blushing at the look she had happened to have intercepted, walking quietly towards the door._

"_I should be back in 45 minutes, Charlotte," Clarisse called, and Charlotte nodded. She couldn't resist looking back for a moment, and she almost melted at the scene…he was teasing her in a gentle voice, and she laughed at him, looking at him with an expression of tenderness, before gently touching his face with her hand…It was beautiful to watch, but she realised that she had intruded enough on their privacy……_

* * *

"I think we've covered everything for today," Sebastian said heartily, shutting his notebook with a bang. After they had caught her daydreaming, Clarisse had paid much more attention to the matter at hand, and both Charlotte and Sebastian were wondering whether they had dreamed that other moment.

"Thank you for coming in at such short notice, Sebastian…and, I'm sorry about before," Clarisse said, standing up and offering her hand to him again.

"It doesn't matter Your Majesty…you have got a lot on your mind at the moment, and I would be exactly the same if I were in your shoes," Sebastian said with an easygoing smile, and Clarisse felt slightly better.

"When is your meeting with Princess Mia?" she asked as she walked Sebastian to the door of her study.

"Tomorrow," Sebastian said, before saying goodbye to them both and exiting. Clarisse stared after him for a moment, before turning back to her desk, where Charlotte was still sitting in her chair, watching her.

"I'm sorry about before, Charlotte…I'm just tired, and there's so much…"she had the feeling she was rambling on a bit, but Charlotte was giving her a warm smile.

"Like Sebastian said, I completely understand…it's going to be a busy four weeks," she said, shutting her notepad and standing up.

"It is indeed," Clarisse sighed heavily, sitting back down in her chair and glancing at her desk for a moment. Clarisse hardly heard Charlotte's explanation, or her leaving, as she suddenly realised everything she had to do- not only continue running the country, but train Mia (at double speed) in all the necessary protocol to become Queen, plan a wedding and a coronation…and make a decision about her future with Joseph….How on earth could she make such a decision in such a chaotic time?

Charlotte, sensing that she was troubled, wanted to ask her what was wrong…whether it had anything to do with Joseph…but something held her back…

"I'll be back in ten minutes," she said softly, walking towards the door but when she looked back, she wasn't entire sure that Clarisse had heard her… she was looking out the window, lost in her own thoughts…


	3. San Francisco

_Author's Note: I'm sorry this story is taking a while to get posted (and I can see that it's getting bigger almost every chapter!) but I'll get there with it! Thanx to everyone who is reviewing it…was a little unsure about it before, but now I'm okay with it!_

_The Princess Diaries belongs to Meg Cabot and Disney_

Although Joe's proposal was in both of their minds in the ensuing days, both Clarisse and Joe found that there was far too much going on to really be able to reflect on it, and even discuss it again. Mia's wedding was in less than three weeks, and Clarisse in particular was feeling the pressure- not only did she have to oversee the plans for the 'wedding of the year' (as one television reporter had said), but also oversee plans for the coronation as well as continuing to instruct Mia in the finer elements of being Queen. She only wished it didn't have to be so rushed and hurried- it could have, in normal times, taken months to gently hand over the reigns to Mia. Instead, thanks to a practically invisible law, all her carefully laid plans had been rendered void, and Mia had to become Queen in a month, or relinquish the throne to Lord Devereaux.

"I don't think they will ever realise how much there is in this job," she had complained to Joseph after the agreement had been reached in parliament, and Joe had looked at her quietly.

"We both know that, Clarisse…but parliament will always be parliament, and you know what they are like…."

He trailed off, and Clarisse had to laugh- they both knew what parliament was really like…

But she did know one thing- Lord Devereaux, nice boy that he may be without the influence of his duplicitous uncle, was not going to become King of Genovia. Mia, the daughter of her beloved Phillipe, deserved the crown- there was so much she had sacrificed in the past 5 years, and Clarisse knew without a doubt that Mia would get there.

However, there were times when she wondered whether the 21-year-old was ready for such a big responsibility…Clarisse herself had become Queen Consort at 25, and she had found the task so daunting that she had wondered whether she could do it…However, Rupert had been 39 and ready, and all Clarisse had to do was support him…but Mia, she would be Queen and monarch of the entire country…there would be no practicing….

0000

She had glanced at Mia's face several times during the session in the throne room, greeting the people of Genovia, and she could see that Mia was more than a little daunted at the task at hand. Most of the people warmly greeted their future Queen happily, but Clarisse knew that it would be daunting to her, particularly when Viscount Mabrey and his nephew were sitting and watching the proceedings closely. Clarisse had tried to have them removed from the session, but Joe (even though he understood her reasoning, and completely agreed with her,) convinced her otherwise.

"That wouldn't be such a wise idea, Clarisse…if they know you are trying to remove them from something they had a right to see, it could get nasty …and we both know how nasty Arthur Mabrey can be…" he trailed off as they remembered the heated argument Clarisse had found herself in during a private meeting with some of the parliamentarians in her office….

The session seemed to be going well, and Clarisse was proud of the way Mia held herself and conducted brief conversations with some of the citizens…she was also pleased to see that Lily had been taking notes…Mia was taking the threat seriously.

However, it went askew when Tiny, a lovable fellow that Clarisse liked greatly, offered a covered basket 'for their table.' Clarisse suspected what was in it and tried to send a signal to Mia not to uncover it, but Mia did….it was a brown hen, but Mia then lifted it out of its basket and, startled by the lights and noise, the hen bolted. Clarisse could hear Mabrey roaring his head off, and she was tempted to smile, but she couldn't as she grabbed the back of Mia's suit as she went by, stopping Mia from running.

"_A Queen never chases a chicken," _she murmured softly into Mia's ear before Shades, looking very disgruntled, came back to where the basket stood, carrying the chicken…….

* * *

Mia disappeared quickly after the session ended, and Clarisse didn't blame her- Mabrey had somehow invited the press along, and the press had managed to get a photograph of the whole debacle, which would do little for Mia's self confidence when it was published in the paper….

Clarisse sighed heavily as she walked back towards her study- her small crown had already been sent upstairs to the safe, but she couldn't be bothered changing from the pure white clothes she had worn in the throne room. She could really do with a cup of tea, but she didn't feel like going down to the kitchen…too many people there to literally bend over backwards to help her, or get nervous in her presence…That was one thing she disliked about her position- everyone either seemed to fawn over her or act liked they disliked her….she wouldn't miss that aspect all when she was no longer Queen….

"Hello," came a voice from behind her, and she turned to see Joseph, clad in black as usual, walking his usual two steps behind her.

"You look very lovely this afternoon," he added as she blushed.

"And you are your usual charming self," she teased back as she looked around for a moment and, seeing no one around, stepped back to walk beside him.

"By the way, where were you this afternoon? We were in the throne room…."

"I've already heard all about it from a rather disgruntled Shades…I never thought I would ever hear that a live chicken ran about the palace!" he started laughing, and she joined in for a moment, before stopping at the thought of Mia.

"It's not all that funny, you know. Poor Mia, she didn't know what was going on…I should have warned her about Tiny before today…"

"Oh, I thought it was him…good old Tiny," he chuckled softly. He knew Tiny, and knew that he did it on several occasions, despite palace security insisting he didn't, but Clarisse usually handled the situation with poise and grace.

"Poor Mia…she really got embarrassed- particularly once the press took her photograph."

"The press were there?" Joe looked at her quizzically, and she nodded. "I thought that they considered that sort of thing too boring for words!"

"They do…but I think Arthur Mabrey hinted that there could be fireworks…and, fortunately for him, there was…"

She sighed heavily as they stood outside the closed doors of her study, and Joseph grinned at her.

"I can tell that you need a good cup of tea," he said as he opened the door for her, and she smiled at him as she walked through the door.

"You know me too well, Joseph Bonnell…I am dying for a good cup of tea…"

"And it's waiting for you right here," he finished as she turned and saw that there was a table set for two in the middle of her study, with a waiting pot of tea.

"I thought I would bring it to you," he explained with a smile as she turned and looked at him, genuinely surprise at the gesture.

"Thank you, Joseph," she said before she walked over to the table and sat down. Joe, standing awkwardly in the doorway, wondered what to do until she looked over at him with an amused look.

"I notice that there are two places set…aren't you intending on joining me, Joseph?" she asked as Joseph tried to look startled- as usual, the Queen had read his mind.

"I didn't ask for two to be set," he protested as she looked at him knowingly, and he rapidly gave in.

"Alright, I was hoping that you would need some company for a little while…"

"Well thought of, Joseph, and I do…now come and join me!" she said mock imperiously, and he laughed as he walked over and sat down opposite her.

"You don't even need to tell me what you like…black with two sugars," she said as she expertly poured two cups of tea and, after putting two sugar cubes in one, handed it over to him.

"You know me too well," Joe said quietly as he accepted his cup of tea, and she smiled at him. "I know what you like too….two sugars, and milk?"

"Perfect," she smiled as she sipped her tea, and sighed with pleasure. "That's what I needed after this afternoon!"

"Do you remember the time we had tea in the garden…I think it was in San Francisco…?"

Clarisse put her tea cup down and looked at him intently for a moment, thinking hard, before her expression lightened and she laughed easily.

"Goodness yes…Mia had decided to storm out of the consulate, and I had no idea what to do!"

"To be fair, though, you had just dropped a major, life changing announcement onto her head…"

* * *

_Clarisse watched, half exasperatedly and half confused, as the young teenage girl dashed up the garden path, and disappeared into the building. The girl hadn't noticed Clarisse's Had of Security, obscurely hidden in a bush, as she run past him, and he too watched as she disappeared inside, before he walked down to meet his mistress._

"_That went well, didn't it?" she said sarcastically as she turned away from the building and gazed at her tea longingly. She hadn't imagined Amelia would take the news so badly…or run out on her own grandmother, goodness knows where she was going, Clarisse thought to herself before she had an idea…"Will you help me?"_

"_What are you talking about?" Joseph looked confused and slightly suspicious- the Queen obviously had planned just in case the announcement didn't go to plan…which, in this case, it hadn't…_

"_I want you to drive her around San Francisco- take her to school, bring her here if need be, and whatever else girls her age do…" Joseph looked at her, slightly unimpressed._

"_I'm your Head of Security, and you want me to be a chauffeur and babysitter?"_

"For the time being, yes. The child needs protection," she said, waving in the area where Mia had been seen last. She sighed heavily then, and sat back down in her chair. "

What on earth are we going to do, Joseph?"

"To be fair, Your Majesty," he began, discreetly waving to the other servants, who disappeared inside, before he sat down in the chair recently vacated by the Princess. "That was a major life curve you just threw at her…she needs some time to adjust."

"I don't know what on earth you are talking about, Joseph," Clarisse said impatiently as she retrieved the spare cup and saucer from the tray beside her, and poured a cup of tea for her Head of Security. "You know I don't understand your baseball slang…or whatever that was!"

"You just told her she was a Princess- she has lived for nearly sixteen years not knowing that…I don't know about you, but that would throw me just a little bit," Joseph said as he accepted his cup from her and sat back in his chair. 

"_I would have thought she would have been delighted…most girls dream of becoming a princess!" Clarisse sipped her tea before she too sat back in her chair and looked over at he man who was, besides her Head of Security, her closest friend and confidante._

"_I think this girl may be different," he said thoughtfully, looking back at the place where the young girl had disappeared. "I don't think this girl ever imagined she'd be a princess…I heard that her main goal in life was to be invisible, so I don't think this was in her plan…"_

_  
"She would have found out eventually," Clarisse protested, and Joseph gave her a steady look._

"_At eighteen- she may have handled the news very differently, Clarisse," he said, and she almost shivered with delight- she liked hearing him call her by her name, rather than her title. _

_"But she is a teenager, and teenagers march to the beat of their own drums, whether we like it or not…and she is very different from your sons," he added as he could tell she was going to add this. "Your sons were born knowing that they were royalty- Amelia hasn't had that advantage…She's had a very normal, quiet life for almost sixteen years, and to have this come down on her shoulders…"_

_  
"Poor girl," Clarisse sighed, feeling sympathetic towards her granddaughter. She had never imagined having to break the news to her personally- Phillipe had always insisted he was going to do it…but after the terrible accident in April…it had fallen on her to do so… She felt a slight twinge of guilt as she remembered Mia's reaction, and she wished she didn't have to do it, but Mia was now the heir to the throne…_

"_So, what do we do now?" as he watched her brow furrow in thought. So much had befallen the Queen in the past fifteen months, and he was more than a little worried about her…not only as her Head of Security, but as her friend…and someone who was in love with her…_

"_I guess I will have to go and see Helen tomorrow, for Amelia goes to school…it will be hard," she said with a sigh, remembering the last occasion she had seen Helen, fifteen years ago, when she was about to leave Genovia with Phillipe's tiny daughter…"_

_But, will you help me, as I asked you a few moments ago?" she asked, looking at him with her irresistible blue eyes, and Joseph knew he couldn't refuse her. "Besides," she added with a slight smile. "I won't be going anywhere in the next two weeks, so you will have the time…"_

_  
"Fine…I'll be happy to do it for you," he said with a great sigh, and she smiled, leaning over to pat his hand reassuringly._

"_Thank you, Joseph…I knew I could count on you……"_

* * *

"What an adventure and a half that turned out to be!" Joe chortled as he remembered going out into the pouring rain to find the Princess, on the evening of the Independence Day ball, and bringing her to the consulate…not to mention the misadventure involving Mia's Mustang and the police…..

"But you have to admit, you have grown awfully fond of her," Clarisse looked over her teacup at him, and he laughed.

"Yes I have…she's a wonderful girl, and she combines the best qualities of two of the best people in Genovia…Phillipe and….you," he finished softly, and she blushed into her tea cup for a moment.

"But," he added, sensing that she was embarrassed by the compliment. " I wasn't too pleased about that joy ride you two went on in San Francisco…."

"What could have happened to us, Joseph?" Clarisse retorted as she poured herself another cup of tea. "The worst that could have happened is that the Von Trokans would have got the throne…imagine Viscount Mabrey trying to wrest it out of their hands," she said lightly, chuckling at the image, while Joseph visibly shuddered at the thought.

"Don't even say that…I don't even want to imagine that! But, you do have to admit, that the drive wasn't one of your best ideas…."

* * *

_Joseph popped his head around the study door and was surprise to see that Clarisse's desk was empty. If the Princess wasn't there, she was usually busy working at this time of day, and she usually liked him coming in to have a chat, or an update on what the Princess was up to._

_He shrugged to himself, and turned to walk away, a little disappointed that she wasn't there, and almost collided with Charlotte, who was carrying a pile of papers._

"_Charlotte, have you seen Her Majesty?"_

"The last time I saw her, she was out in the greenhouse with the Princess…she cancelled all her plans for today, and I think the Princess was taking her for a drive in her Mustang…" she trailed off when she saw the slightly displeased look on his face. "I take it she didn't tell you?"

"No she didn't," Joe said lightly, trying to pretend he wasn't slightly panicked at the disappearance of the two most influential people in Genovia…if there was an accident, and both of them were killed, the throne would automatically go to the Von Trokans, and he couldn't bear the thought of that…But, he told himself sternly, he was being ridiculous- they would have only gone out for a quick drive around the block…Mia was very proud of her car, and it was understandable that she would want to show it off… 

"_Did they happen to mention where they were going?" he asked as he followed Charlotte into Clarisse's study._

"_No…Mia mentioned something about a fun park, but I left as soon as they began making plans…I'm sorry, Joe," she said repentantly, and Joe smiled at her._

"_Don't worry, Charlotte. This isn't your fault…We'll see them when they get back…"_

"They'll be back soon, Joe," she said reassuringly, patting him on the arm as she walked past. "They'll be fine…"  
"I hope so," Joe muttered under his breath as he walked back to his security room……

00000 

_Two and a half hours later, however, he was a tumult of emotions- fear, that something had happened to the two of them; anger that Mia had suggested something so silly, and that Clarisse hadn't thought to consult him about it; remorse that he was feeling like this; and guilt that Clarisse always had to have someone with her._

"_Joe, they're back!" Charlotte called as she hurried past the study where he was pacing. Joe stared at the empty doorway for a moment, before literally dashing out of the room and outside. _

_To his relief, there was a car coming into the driveway…but, to his horror, it was a police car…What on earth! His fear, now that they were safe, dissipated into anger…whoever suggested this was in big trouble…_

_He watched as Clarisse turned to Mia for a moment, before stepping out of the open car door, smiled and thanked the police escorts, and turned to face him and Charlotte._

'_Good afternoon Joseph," she said airily. "Are we expecting guests this afternoon?"_

_  
"I'm just interested in where you two have been all day," he said calmly, but both of them knew that his temper was just under the surface. "I'd like to speak to both of you inside, if you don't mind…"_

"_Actually, before you say anything else, I'd like to tell you that it was my idea," Clarisse said easily, ignoring the sharp intake of breath behind her. "So you don't need to involve Mia in this…These kind officers," she waved to the two men standing in front of the car. "Have offered to take her home…" _

_She turned to the girl, and smiled warmly at her. "I'll see you tomorrow afternoon, Mia."_

"_Are you…"Mia began nervously, looking over her shoulder at a smouldering Joseph, before Clarisse waved a hand easily._

"_I'll be fine…see you tomorrow…Yes, I'm coming Joseph," she said as Joe, who was now standing near the entrance, glared back at her._

_000_

_He waited until they were in the privacy of her study, the door firmly closed, before he turned to her…he took a deep breath and tried to calm down…they were safe, and Clarisse was back here again…_

"_Did you and the Princess have a good afternoon out?" he asked, with great restraint, as Clarisse, sitting at her desk, smiled at him. She was looking very pleased with herself, which only made him angrier._

"_Yes…we went to a fun park, and ate corn dogs…the only dampener on the day was when Mia crashed into a trolley car," she said calmly, and Joe's eyes almost popped out of his head._

"_She did…WHAT?"_

_  
"The breaks weren't working properly, and I ripped the emergency handbrake out of it's position," she chuckled softly at the memory. "And we went right down the hill and crashed into the trolley…I don't know what we would have done if that hadn't been there…"_

_Joseph was staring at her in horror- it was worse than he had thought…they had been in an accident…_

"_Why on earth did you go in that car anyway?" But they both knew the answer to that one_

"_Mia's so proud of it, and I actually wanted to…besides, what's the fun of going anywhere in a black limousine?" she was teasing him now, and Joseph couldn't believe this- Clarisse wasn't taking this at all seriously!_

_  
"You could have been seriously injured!" Joseph half shouted at her, and she raised an eyebrow._

"_Are you shouting at me, Joseph?"_

_  
"Yes, I am…you didn't realise how…You should have told me where you were going? You aren't allowed to go anywhere without me, or one of the guys!"_

"_I know I'm not allowed…this is the one point you and I never seem to agree upon…But you have your freedom, you can and do as you please…why couldn't I, for one afternoon!"_

"_Because you're Queen of Genovia, and you need security around you!"_

"Joseph," she said slowly, standing up and staring him. "I wanted to spend some one on one time with my granddaughter…surely you understand that?"

"Yes, but you don't know how much trouble you could have caused!"

"Trouble, tush!" she said, waving her hand and walking around her desk to stand in front of him. At that moment, he was suddenly struck by how sparkling her eyes were…but he knew it wasn't joy, but almost anger… "

I'm well aware of how much trouble, as you seem to put it, I could have caused but today…I didn't care! I just wanted to get to know my granddaughter a little better…surely you can understand that?" her voice turned beseeching, and Joseph realised that she was right. 

"_But you could have told someone where you were going- couldn't you?" he asked, his voice quietening down slightly, and she looked relieved._

"_I guess I forgot to do that…and yes, Queens do make mistakes," she added hastily as he raised an eyebrow at her. "I'll admit that…But I am sorry that I made you worry…and I'll try not to do it again!"_

* * *

"I was actually afraid that you weren't going to speak to me again after that…" Clarisse admitted as she poured another two cups of tea- she was very much enjoying having tea with Joseph…it was a little ritual they sometimes did, and no one else knew about it. There was so much that she was able to share with him that he could never share with anyone else… he was not only the man she truly loved, but he was her best friend.

She may have told Mia that Rupert had been her best friend- which he was, eventually- but what she shared with Joseph went beyond that…it was much, much more than that.

"We both know that that wasn't the worst fight we ever had, but I will admit that I was more frightened about your whereabouts than actually being angry."

"Your anger came about through relief…I could actually see, through the car window that day, that you were about to lose it!"

"It's just as well you managed to charm your way out of it, didn't you?" he teased, and she laughed.

"I guess I did…But I'm not the only one who is charming- you have your charms…you're a wonderful dancer. I don't know whether I've ever told you that, but you are… where on earth did you learn that skill?"

"I'm a little ashamed to admit this, but I took a few dancing lessons when I was a young man, but quickly stopped once I became a teenager…peer pressure," he explained as she gave him a quizzical look.

"I love to dance…not at all these boring events where I usually have to dance with every single member of parliament," she rolled her eyes at the thought. "But at small occasions… even when it was just you and me…."

She looked over at him meaningfully, and they both remembered the two instances in San Francisco where they had managed to dance together…alone…

"I don't suppose you're talking about the occasion after I tried to teach Mia the basics?" he teased gently as she laughed, remembering the look on his face when Mia had winded him.

"Of course…that's one of my favourite memories of San Francisco- the look on your face when she knocked into you- priceless…and then…" she trailed of with a dreamy look.

* * *

"_See you tomorrow!" echoed back from the hall, and Clarisse smiled- she was becoming very fond of the girl…she hadn't realised how much she would love being a grandmother untiI Mia reappeared in her life. She sighed heavily, realising that there was still much to do, and stood up, taking off her glasses._

"_Thank you Joseph," she murmured, switching off the CD player and preparing to walk away when Joe's hand moved past her and quietly switched on the CD player again. He had made an impulsive decision- she had always been a wonderfully graceful dancer when her husband had been alive, and now it was time she danced again. She turned to look at him surprise._

"_You've been wearing black far too long," he murmured huskily, and she smiled at him- he was stating the obvious, and it was time for change. He took her hand in his, and she was only half aware of what was going on as she willingly followed him into the middle of the floor._

"_It's been such a long time since I danced this, Joseph," she said softly, and he smiled over at her as they stood hip to hip, looking at each other._

"_It's time, then, that you started dancing this again," he joked as the music continued playing, and he began guiding her through the dance steps. She had very rarely danced this number with Rupert- usually with the Spanish ambassador- and she was a little rusty, but Joseph was a patient teacher, and she quickly got the moves right._

_As they danced, they were both aware of how easily they fitted and worked together- they had shared a number of dances over the years, and knew each other so well. As they eyes met and held, it seemed as though the world had stopped…If anyone had tried to ask where they were at that moment, neither of them would have been able to say. Clarisse had always loved looking into Joseph's lovely brown eyes, but what she saw there at that moment almost took her breath away…it was pure adoration…he loved her._

_Faintly, as if from a long way away, Clarisse heard the sound of heels coming into the room, but they stopped so suddenly that she thought she had only imagined it…All that matter was that she was dancing again, and with the man she was falling in love with …Although, if she was really honest with herself, she had fallen for him a long, long time ago…_

_Joseph, on the other hand, couldn't believe that she had willingly followed him onto the dance floor- it had been a gambit he hadn't thought would work, but she obviously wanted to dance with him…Although she hadn't danced in well over a year, she was still as graceful as ever, and he didn't need to remind her of many steps…she had done this dance before, and the moves were burnt into her memory._

"_I'm sorry," she murmured softly when she accidentally stepped on his foot, and he only smiled at her._

"_My feet are much tougher than you seem to think," he whispered into her ear, and she smiled dreamily at him. _

_For a moment, as he gazed into her beautiful blue eyes, he thought he saw something tender and peaceful…she had gorgeous eyes, and could happily spend all day staring into them…But, for a moment, he saw love in her eyes…it was usually masked so well from the rest of the world that he wondered if he had dreamt it at times, but when they were alone, she couldn't and didn't want to hide it…and he felt so honoured that she loved him…_

_They had been gazing at each other so intensely that, for a moment, they didn't realise that the song they had been dancing to had finished, and the next song was playing. They stood there for a moment, but then heard sounds of voices coming down the hallway, and they quickly jumped apart._

"_I don't know why you were worried about your dancing skills, Clarisse…you still dance very, very well," Joe said as he walked over and turned the CD player off. Clarisse, colouring a deep pink, laughed._

"_You're being very kind, Joseph, but I think I stepped on your feet twice- at least!"_

_  
"Oh, so that's why my feet feel sore!" he joked, and she laughed as she collected her papers from the table._

"_I'll let you go and put some ice on them," she teased as they walked towards the door together, well aware of the feelings they had for each other but, as they had been doing for so long, pretending that they didn't exist. It was getting hard and harder, though… _

_Joseph turned to her just before they left the room- there was something he had to ask her._

'_May I have a dance at the Independence Day Ball?" he asked quickly, averting his eyes, and suddenly very nervous, and she smiled, touching his face as his eyes moved back to meet hers._

"_Of course…you may have the second dance…"_

_00000000000000_

_Despite the black clouds overhead, and the intermittent rain, the Independence Day Ball was a massive success…Princess Mia had finally, and publicly, accepted her role and responsibilities, and Clarisse couldn't have been happier. There had been a moment, just that afternoon, when she had believed that Mia wouldn't do it, but she also had an inkling that Mia may change her mind…and, when Mia had appeared, soaking wet from the storm, Clarisse knew that Mia was about to fulfil her destiny._

"_I'm sorry I was so late, Grandma," Mia said as they walked upstairs after her announcement. "I just got scared, that's all, but Dad helped me…"_

"You found the letter in the diary…I wondered whether you would," Clarisse said with a smile.

"It was also amongst your father's possessions, and I slipped it into the diary," she added as Mia looked at her, wide eyed.

They stopped in front of Clarisse's suite where Paolo and Charlotte were waiting, and Clarisse turned to look at her for a moment. 

"_Are you scared anymore?"_

_Mia turned to her with a determined look that reminded Clarisse of Phillipe, and reminded Joe, a few steps away, of Clarisse._

"_No," she said simply, before walking into the suite to get dressed._

_000_

_Clarisse, now radiant that Mia was there, was enjoying the first dance with Sebastian Motez (as tradition dictated) before, out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Joseph appear from within the crowd watching, and walk towards them. He was coming for the dance she had promised him, and she was trying not to look excited about it. _

_Apart from Mia's announcement and presentation as Her Royal Highness, this was the highlight of her evening. Sebastian, looking from one to the other, chuckled secretly to himself- they were trying to be discreet, but their blossoming relationship was one of the worst kept secrets of Genovia…not that he minded- in fact, he approved whole heartedly._

"_Your Majesty, Prime Minister," Joe said, bowing to both of them. "May I please cut in?" he asked Sebastian politely, who laughed and stepped aside._

"_So you couldn't wait until the first song was over?" she teased softly as she glanced over and saw Mia dancing with young Michael Moscovitz, beaming happily._

"_Well, I had it on excellent authority that the song was about to end anyway…there you go," he said in victory as the orchestra began a new song, and she only laughed. _

_She relaxed, enjoying the moments in Joseph's arms, before he said:  
"They had the same idea as I had, but now the garden is occupado," and Clarisse glanced over to see Mia and Michael move off the dance floor and into the crowd. _

_She couldn't resist chuckling at him._

"_Serves you right for thinking ahead," she teased softly as more and more people began joining them onto the dance floor._

_  
"How many people do you need to dance with tonight, Your Majesty?" he asked sweetly, and she thought for a moment, before beaming victoriously at him._

"_No one!"_

_She did, however, move around to greet people she hadn't had a chance to see before, and it wasn't long before she noticed that a certain couple were missing._

"_Joseph, where are the Von Trokans?" she asked as she scanned the room for the surly face and portly figure of the Baron, but not finding them there at all…she was secretly pleased that they weren't to be seen, but she was curious to know where they had gone._

"_I wasn't here when it happened, as you well know, but apparently the Baron tried to steal one of the vases on the nearby cabinet, and security busted him as he was walking out."_

_  
"Really?" Clarisse had to stifle her laughter, but the picture was just too good not to imagine. "I guess he was trying to get something out of it…What on earth!" she looked around in slight annoyance as the orchestra was replaced by a DJ that Mia had convinced her would be fun, began playing an incredibly noisy song._

"_It's the DJ's turn to play now!" Joe shouted over the noise, and then had an idea. "How about we step out and have some fresh air for a little while, on the balcony?"_

_  
"Yes, thank you!" Clarisse said over the noise, and followed him through the ballroom. _

_As they walked out the doorway, side by side, Joseph gave a little wave with his hand, and the security men that had been sitting near the doorway, discreetly remembered something they had to do, and disappeared. As soon as they disappeared, Joseph calmly took her gloved hand in his and kissed it…Clarisse looked over at him with a warm and tender smile, butterflies in her stomach, and looped her arm through his._

_0000_

"_This is so much better," Clarisse sighed happily as she walked out the double doors that led to the balcony and stood there for a moment, breathing in deeply. _

_The garden smelt like rain- her favourite scent- but she was happy to see that the clouds had broken up enough to allow some stars to sparkle through._

"Rather peaceful out here, isn't it?" Joe said mock innocently as they walked over to the edge of the balcony, and gazed out the lit up garden. "Wow…this is amazing- how on earth did you do all this?"

He was awestruck by the entire garden- the waterfall, the lights, the roses…it looked so much better than when they had arrived two and a half weeks previously.

"Charlotte was responsible for much of this," Clarisse said with a fond smile, glancing around and loving the look on Joseph's face. 

"_But you were the main architect that designed all this," he said with a gentle smile, and Clarisse had to acquiesce with his suggestion. He turned and looked her, gazing out in the garden with a smile, and smiled- she was even more luminous by moonlight…Sensing that he was looking at her, Clarisse turned and smiled at him._

"_Aren't you going to ask me to dance again?" she said flirtatiously, and he laughed out loud._

"_I would have thought that one dance with me would have been enough!"_

_  
"Not in the slightest," she said with a wide, expectant smile._

'_Alright," he pretended to sigh heavily, but he was secretly delighted that she wanted another dance with him… _

_"Would you do me the honour of this dance, Yo…Clarisse?" he amended his sentence as she pretended to glare at him. He knew she much preferred her name when they were alone._

"_Oh!" she said, pretending to be surprised, and then giggled. "I would be delighted, Joseph…"_

* * *

"That was such a wonderful night," Clarisse said reflectively as she stared into her empty tea cup. "I thought that Mia wouldn't come…but, as you told me a million times during that trip, she was more like me than even I would realise…"

"But it took you until then to realise it, didn't you?" he teased, and Clarisse nodded.

"You're a very good judge of character, Joseph," she said softly. "I thought I was, but maybe my perceptions have been warped by the palace life…"

"I should think not!" Joseph looked at her, outraged. "You're a very sharp and good judge of character, Clarisse Renaldi, and I don't ever want to hear you put yourself down again!"

That was another thing he disliked about the former King of Genovia- he had very rarely given his Queen compliments, and now she didn't feel very comfortable hearing them.

"Alright, I won't Joseph," she laughed at his expression, and he softened for a moment. After an afternoon of sharing such wonderful memories in San Francisco, maybe this had helped her reach a decision… Clarisse, looking over at him, realised that, more than ever, she wanted to marry him…but there was something holding her back….

Just as they both moved to speak, there was a knock on the door, and Charlotte poked her head around, breaking the moment between them.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, Your Majesty, but it's time for your meeting with the press secretary!"

"I'll be right out, "Clarisse said with a smile, and stood up from the table as Charlotte disappeared. There was a long silence before she managed to look at him again- there were so many things and people interrupting them….would they ever get a moment to themselves?


	4. Wedding Countdown

_Author's Note: back to doing this story again… just needed a little space from it! Anyway, I'm looking forward to finishing this as well!_

_The song lyrics are from 'Your Crowning Glory', sung by Julie, Raven and Anne Hathaway, from the second soundtrack (That, along with the wedding, is my favourite part of the film!)_

_The Princess Diaries doesn't belong to me_

As the days rolled by, the pressure increased tenfold on both Clarisse and Mia. Clarisse was used to it- in fact, she often thrived on it- but she knew that Mia wasn't, which made everything all the worse… particularly when Viscount Mabrey and his nephew were present, breathing down her neck, and waiting for her to make a mistake. Mia never complained, but Clarisse couldn't help but feel that the treatment she was receiving was rather unfair. It made her all the more grateful that Lily was there- Lily wouldn't put up with any nonsense from Lord Devereaux, and she had made her feelings on him known when she had found out that he was threatening Mia's throne.

"That dirty, rotten…" she cried loudly, only cutting off her diatribe when she realised that Mia's grandmother was in the room.

The first official duty on the calendar for the Princess was the horse riding inspection, and she was clearly nervous and apprehensive about the entire process. Clarisse was unable to attend the inspection, having to attend another boring meeting in the parliament room, but she made Joseph promise that he would protect her at any cost.

"I know Mabrey and his nephew will be there, and I can safely say that Arthur will try and do what he can to make her life difficult," Clarisse said as she buttoned her jacket, and took her notebooks and pens from her nearby maids.

"Just look after her, Joseph," she looked anxiously at Joseph as she walked through the door of her study, and he smiled reassuringly at her- he was more than a little concerned himself, but he didn't want to let Clarisse know that. He wanted to give her a reassuring squeeze of the hand, just to tell her that he wouldn't let anything happen, but there were still people around in the study.

"Don't worry, Your Majesty, I will."

000

The uneasy feeling in Clarisse's stomach didn't dissipate for the duration of the meeting, and

when she opened the doors to her study again after the meeting, she knew that something had happened as Joseph stood there with a grave look on his face.

"What happened, Joseph?" she asked patiently as they walked out towards the maze.

"Well… the Princess didn't complete the inspection… Sandy got spooked somehow, and she ended up leaving the ceremony early…"

"Oh dear," Clarisse said, feeling Mia's plight more than ever, before noticing that Joseph was holding what seemed to be a plastic snake in one hand.

"Tell me the truth, Joseph- what exactly happened out there?" she asked as they stepped out onto the balcony, the crowds long since disappeared.

"You won't like this… but Viscount Mabrey apparently bribed the groom to hold one of these in Sandy's vision," he waved the toy snake at her.

"As we both know, Sandy doesn't like snakes… and he got spooked… and then, I tried to help her down, and….everyone found out about Herbie….. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," Clarisse sighed heavily, gazing out at her maze. "So, was it deliberate sabotage?"

"Yes… but I've just seen him disappear into the stables, so if you will excuse me…."

"Tell Mia that I'm here," she called as he quickly hurried away, and he waved a hand back to her to tell her that he had heard.

Clarisse's heart ached even more when she saw the tear stained face of her granddaughter walk towards her, her two ladies maids walking several paces behind her.

"I'm sorry, Grandma… I don't know what happened!" Mia babbled when they were close, but Clarisse only held up her hand patiently.

"Don't worry, Mia… all horses get spooked at one time or another… believe me, it has happened to me before- and you were very lucky you didn't get thrown off the horse!" Clarisse had no intention of telling Mia about Joseph's suspicions- she had enough on her plate as it was.

"But what about… Herbie?" Mia whimpered slightly, and Clarisse took her hands in her own and squeezed tightly.

"That doesn't matter … in fact, now that certain parliamentarians realise that we can't ride side saddle, maybe this will make them finally change that tradition!"

"But I wanted to do my best for you…." Mia's eyes filled with tears again.

"You did do your best for your first time at doing something like this… and like I said, horses can be unpredictable… Now, why don't you go and get changed, and have some ice cream… I believe that the chefs have stocked up with some of your favourites…" Clarisse said with a teasing smile, and Mia managed to smile wanly at her.

"Thank you… you're not mad at me?"

"Of course not, darling… it was an accident… now go and relax!"

Clarisse smiled as she watched Mia disappear into the palace, before turning, the smile disappearing off her face as she spotted Viscount Mabrey stalking past the balcony, not taking the slightest notice of anyone around him. Joseph appeared at her side seconds later, and she looked at him expectantly.

"I just merely confirmed what I had suspected- he was the culprit behind the rubber snake… I don't think he will be doing that again soon," he chuckled lightly, trying not to show the anger he was still feeling against Mabrey.

Not only had he tried to undermine the Princess, but he had made an insinuation that Joseph hoped would not spread too quickly. He had no intention of telling Clarisse about their confrontation- she had enough to deal with- but he realised that his proposal may have come at the right time… people were beginning to talk, and he wanted, more than ever, to protect Clarisse from the slander…

But his confrontation with Mabrey had brought to the surface (again) their mutual dislike for each other… it had begun long before the Princess and the throne business…

* * *

_Joe was rapidly rising in the ranks of Her Majesty's security guards over the past few years- he was a hard worker, loyal and dedicated, and it hadn't failed to escape the attention of the Queen._

"_Surely you must have a few men that are jealous of what you're doing?" Clarisse asked teasingly one day as they strolled in the garden and Joe only laughed bashfully._

"_Most of them are good men, ma'am, and fine security guards… but it takes someone very dedicated to be on call 24 hours a day, seven days a week."_

"_I think your dedication might be a contributing factor in you being considered as my replacement Head of Security… surely you knew that Thomas was retiring?" she added when she saw the surprised look on his face._

"_Yes, but I thought that there would be other, more qualified candidates…" Joe was rather embarrassed, and even more so when Clarisse smiled at him._

"_But there are qualified candidates- and I'm looking at one of them… I don't know whether I should be telling you this, but Thomas has recommended you to me, and I'm very much inclined to accept his recommendation."_

"_Wouldn't you need to discuss it with His Majesty?"_

_  
"No, you would be MY Head of Security, not his … Why? Are you trying to get out of it?" she teased._

_He was about to answer her when they heard voices approaching them, and Joe looked up to see Rupert and Arthur Mabrey walking down the garden toward them. Joseph quickly went back to his normal position, 2 steps behind her, and noted that she visibly tensed up… not that he could blame her._

"_There you are, Clarisse! We were wondering where you were!" Rupert called jovially, ignoring Joe completely as they stopped in front of Clarisse. "We tried looking for you inside, but your assistant said you might be out here!"_

_  
"Yes, I thought that it was such a nice day…" Clarisse smiled weakly before Arthur stepped forward and took her hand in his. "Good afternoon, Viscount Mabrey… I trust you are well."_

_She had to battle not to snatch her hand back, but he only brushed it with his lips, before grinning up at her with lecherous brown eyes, and even Joseph couldn't fail to see the obvious lust in his eyes… and the obvious revulsion in her expression._

"_I'm very well, Your Majesty, and I must say that you're looking as beautiful as ever! Rupert, how on earth do you manage to keep up with her?"_

_The compliment fell emptily off his lips, and neither Clarisse nor Joseph could fail to mistake the insolence in his voice._

"_I try… but she is rather lovely, isn't she?" Rupert laughed, either quite unaware or feigning ignorance at his friend's feelings for his wife. "Anyway darling, Arthur insisted we come and see whether you were still attending the parliamentarian dinner tonight."_

_  
"Yes, I was planning on it," Clarisse said quietly, looking directly from one man to the other. If she felt intimidated by either of them, she was doing a good job of hiding it._

"_It's a pity that you and I won't be sitting close together… you're always such an intelligent woman to talk to," Mabrey said in an oily tone, and Joseph suddenly knew what was going on… Rupert didn't care that his friend was hitting on his wife and Clarisse was vaguely unnerved and very uncomfortable about the whole situation._

"_Well, we'll see you later then," Rupert kissed her cheek, but Clarisse managed to avoid being close to Mabrey, who only smirked as they walked away. As soon as they disappeared, she turned away from Joseph for a moment, feeling violated, as Joseph gazed after the men for a moment. Viscount Mabrey hadn't made his designs on Clarisse very discreet, and he didn't like the fact that he had somehow managed to intimidate her._

"_That man… that man…" Clarisse murmured to herself as Joseph shyly reached for her hand, surprised to feel that it was shaking._

"_Are you alright?" he asked softly, worried about her reaction, and she looked up at him after a moment._

"I'll be alright… you will be at the dinner tonight, won't you?"

"Just keep me away," Joe joked, and was relieved to see Clarisse laugh along with him, but he secretly vowed to keep a very close eye on the Viscount tonight… 

"_Clarisse…" he said softly, and she looked at him trustingly for a moment. "I promise that I will protect you from that man…"_

"_Thank you," she said softly, trusting him more than anyone else she knew, and liking the fact that she could. Joe, however, was rather grim about the whole situation… tonight would prove what he was or wasn't thinking… he only hoped it wasn't true…_

_00000000_

_The dinner went well- Clarisse was her usually charming self as even Rupert threw a few proud glances her way, and Joseph was pleased to see that the Mabreys were seated as far away from her as possible. After dinner was the usual tradition of dancing in the ballroom, and as Joe watched the King lead the Queen onto the floor, he had to admit that they were a very attractive couple as they waltzed around the room. He was less pleased, however, when he saw that the Viscount was first in line for the next dance with the Queen._

"_Keep a close watch on him," Thomas said as they stood in the doorway. "We've already had several incidents with him and other young women … But if he happens to follow her outside, I give you full permission to do what is necessary to protect the Queen."_

_Unfortunately, Thomas's prediction proved to be true- when Clarisse disappeared out onto the balcony, Joseph naturally followed, but he wasn't at all happy when Viscount Mabrey headed out before him. Clarisse was standing on the balcony, gazing up at the stars, and the Viscount quickly stood close to her and she almost drew away in disgust- she could smell the liquor on his breath._

"_Your Majesty, you are a very attractive woman… I was wondering why you and I…"_

_  
"You are a married man, Viscount Mabrey, and I am your Queen- it is inappropriate to talk to me like that," came Clarisse's calm reply, and Joseph (from his hiding spot) couldn't help but feel relieved._

"_Oh come on… you don't think that your husband has remained true to you, do you? He's a bad boy, like me, and I know you like bad boys…" he laughed drunkenly into her ear, moving closer to her as she slowly moved away from him._

"_What he does his own business," she said calmly as Mabrey continued to move closer, and he slowly pressed his hand down on her closest gloved hand._

"_But surely wouldn't you want revenge… I know…" but the rest of his answer was drowned out as Paul and Joe leapt out from their hiding place, and wrestled Mabrey away from the Queen._

"_What on earth are you doing? We were talking!" Mabrey bellowed as the two security guards walked him out towards the front, and waved for his car. Joseph was literally shaking with anger and he was hard pressed not to knock him out._

"_You were not talking to the Queen, you were harassing her… and if I ever see you get that close to her again, you are going to have me to answer to," Joe growled angrily into his ear as Mabrey's car arrived in front of them. The Viscount glared up at him, anger visible in every line of his face._

"_I'd watch my back if I were you, Bonnell… I'm sure His Majesty wouldn't like the fact that you manhandled one of his friends!"_

_Paul watched them leave as Joseph went back to find Clarisse still standing on the balcony, obviously very shaken up, but also very relieved._

"_Are you alright?" he asked softly, trying not to invade her space, but Clarisse closed the gap by moving next to him._

"_I'm fine… I suspected he would try it again… that's the third time…"_

_  
"What?!" Joseph growled, suddenly enraged again, and Clarisse shrugged._

"_It happens when he's been drinking… but…" she shivered at the thought of what could have happened. "Thank goodness you were there…"_

_  
"Would you like a hug before you go back in?" Joe, surprised at himself, asked shyly and she looked at him for a moment, before smiling slightly._

"_Yes, please… and thank you…"_

"I promised I would protect you… and I will… always…" he murmured into her hair.

* * *

"I know what you're thinking," Clarisse's soft voice brought him back to reality, and he looked from the garden to her face as she smiled tenderly at him. "Believe me, his ambitions have grown since then… he wants the crown more than anything!" she said as they walked back inside, and headed towards her study. Joseph didn't say a word until they were safely in the study, and the doors were closed. 

"He's a snake… I don't know why His Majesty put up with him!"

"I suppose Rupert liked him… But that night, I thought you were going to hit the roof!"

"Don't you think I was justified if I did? He was trying to hit on you!"

"Alright, he did deserve that… but I thought you were going to hit him!"

"I wish I had, but then I definitely would have got the sack then… As it was, His Majesty wasn't all that pleased that I forcibly removed one of his friends from the party!"

"Both Thomas and I vouched for you… and, I don't think I told you this, but Phillipe found out about it and he told his father off, and said that you were doing your job… Even if he had tried to fire you, Phillipe and I wouldn't have let him do it!" Clarisse chuckled, and Joe couldn't help but smile along with her.

"Well, everyone now (and then) knows not to mess around with my girl…" he trailed off as he realised that it sounded very much like what he had told Mabrey in the stables, and Clarisse looked up with a grin.

"Is that what you told him in the stables? Is that why he seemed furious when he left?" she asked eagerly, but Joe only smiled enigmatically as he headed towards the door- he suddenly remembered he needed to debrief with the others.

"I'll leave that to your overactive imagination!" he called over his shoulder, and the last sound he heard as he left was her laughter.

* * *

Two days later was, if at all possible, even worse- while hosting a successful garden party for the parliamentarians, Mia managed to disappear with young Lord Devereaux, fall into a fountain with him and come face to face, dripping wet, with an exasperated Clarisse. 

"_Do I want to know?"_ Clarisse asked pointedly as Mia, eyes averted to the ground had the grace to look ashamed.

"_I don't think so," _Mia managed to muttered as she walked past her towards the waiting towels.

Clarisse, for once, had had enough- not only did she have Mia's wedding and coronation to plan, as well as her other duties, but Joseph was expecting an answer from her soon… So, it was inevitable that she finally exploded with her granddaughter that night, culminating with Mia storming out of the suite, followed quickly by Maurice, and Clarisse was filled with regret almost at once.

She looked around the suite- she had poured herself a cup of tea, hoping to have had a quiet evening with Mia, but she didn't even feel like staying in the suite at the moment… After a quick glance at her watch, which told her it was just after 9:30, she made a split second decision and walked out of her suite. Two minutes later, she was knocking on a plain, mahogany coloured door, which opened to reveal Joseph, clad in his pyjamas.

"Did you want to have a cup of tea in the kitchen?" Clarisse asked restlessly, and Joseph could tell that she needed someone to talk to.

"Of course… just let me grab my bathrobe…"

0000000

"You look like you've got the world on your shoulders," Joe said sympathetically as Clarisse sat down at the table, and he walked over to switch the kettle on. "What happened this evening?"

"Mia and I had an argument…" Clarisse hid her face in her hands for a moment, sighing heavily. "I told her off about what happened this afternoon, and she didn't take it very well…"

"You have to admit, though, it was rather funny that they fell into the fountain together!"

"Not exactly what I would call funny, Joseph," Clarisse said grimly, before sighing again. "I have to admit, though, I'm usually more tolerant of what she does… she already has so many people judging her according to what she does, and I didn't exactly help…"

"You're both under quite a bit of pressure at the moment, Clarisse. It's natural that you're snapping a bit at each other… families do do that, remember?" Joe said calmly as he set two mugs and the sugar on the table, before walking over to the refrigerator. "I'm sure Mia knows that you've got her best interests as heart…"

"That's just it, Joseph, I don't know whether I do or not! She's about to marry a man that she barely knows, just for the sake of parliament, and I'm just standing aside and letting her do this! Phillipe wouldn't approve of this, I know that!"

"But he would understand that this is the best way to keep the throne in the family… do you think he would want it in the hands of Viscount Mabrey… or, even worse, the Von Trokans?"

"No," Clarisse admitted with a rueful smile, remembering the numerous run-ins her son had had with both parties. "But Joseph… an arranged marriage? It's so old fashioned …"

"We both agree on that score… but, at the moment, there is nothing we can do about it," Joe brought the teapot to the table, and she began pouring out two cups.

"Did you want something to eat? I think there's a chocolate cake in the fridge…"

"Yes, I think chocolate cake would be perfect for this time of night," Clarisse beamed at him, feeling much better now that she had vented with Joseph.

"Chocolate cake seems to bring people together… as you and I would clearly remember that time we had that massive argument, and we eventually ended up here!"

"Oh yes," Clarisse laughed out loud. "That was a good one… What was it about, exactly?"

"Something you very rarely did- disappearing into the palace grounds without anyone accompanying you!"

"Yes… and you were simply furious at me!"

* * *

_Clarisse sighed heavily as she replaced the lid on her pen, and sat it carefully on the desk, before leaning back in her chair. She had been in meetings most of the day, and she had spent the last hour perusing and signing papers, and she was now thoroughly sick of it. It was usually Rupert's job to do most of the reading and signing, but he hadn't been well lately, and she had been the natural choice to help out, particularly as Pierre was disappearing plenty of times, and Phillipe was busy with his own plans. Rupert, however, was confident that he would be up and about directly- it had only been a mild case of the flu. Although Clarisse had agreed, there was something more to it… he was coming down with more and more infections, and it was taking longer for him to recover._

_Now, she was relieved that paperwork was over for the day, and she was free to do what she wanted… in fact, she wanted be out in the garden for a while, and on her own… The only problem was that she had to have someone accompany her, which annoyed her- although it was usually Joseph, and she adored his company, but even the thought of him was unbearable…_

_Thinking hard, she looked around the room- thankfully her study doors were closed, so no one would disturb her- and her eyes stopped on the wood panelled wall beside her… no one knew that there was a secret passageway that led directly out to the garden… If only…No, she told herself sternly, she couldn't do that- not to Joseph who worked so hard for her, but…she needed time out of the palace, and this would be the only way she could do it… she wouldn't be that long…_

_00000_

_She stepped out into the fresh air, breathing in the fragrant scents from her garden, and Clarisse knew she had made the right decision… she felt invigorated just being there! It was such a peaceful place, and no one else was particularly interested in it, so it had become, over the years, her sanctuary from the insanity that often reigned in the palace. Thankfully, she realised as she looked around, none of the gardeners were working anywhere near her, and she knew that she was far enough away from the palace and the cameras…_

_She enjoyed her time strolling around the garden, looking at her beloved flowers, and she even sat down in her pagoda for a little while, just enjoying the peace and quiet of the place, before she regretfully decided to head back to the palace before anyone realised she was missing… Unfortunately, as she stood up and stretched, she noticed a tall, black clad figure striding quickly towards her… it was Joseph._

"_Ah," Clarisse said sheepishly when he finally stood in front of her, arms crossed and looking rather cross. She tried smiling sheepishly at him, but his expression remained stony._

"_I'm sorry Joseph… I should have told someone where I was going…"_

_  
"You should have told __**me, **__Your Majesty. I am your Head of Security, remember?" She almost winced at his icy tone- if he was calling her 'Her Majesty' then he really must be mad._

"_Yes, I know I should have… but I've been in meetings all day, and I just wanted some space from everything." Clarisse said apologetically, but his expression didn't change. "I simply had had it!"_

"Your Majesty, we have protocol and procedures in place for a reason- for YOUR safety."

"I know that," Clarisse said softly, not at all appreciating the fact he was treating her like a child. 

"_How would it look if some lunatic managed to make his way in here, and shoot you or take you hostage?"_

_  
"I think you're being a little over dramatic, Joseph," Clarisse said, hiding a smile, but Joe just glared at her._

"_I'm not, and it's about time you realised the truth. Just because everyone seems to be on their best behaviour when they're around you, it does not mean that one of them might not pull out a gun on you!"_

_  
"I'm not completely stupid, Joseph," Clarisse said in a dangerously soft voice. "I am well aware of the dangers that being Queen entails, and I don't need a lecture from my Head of Security!"_

"_Someone has to tell you…"_

_  
"This is the first and only time I've done this, Joseph, and I really think you should give me a break about it! You're acting as though I went driving around the country on my own!" Clarisse cried exasperatedly, but she was surprised to realise that she was getting angry._

"_No, but you need to realise that there are people here who are in charge of your safety, and they are trying to do their jobs! You were actually quite selfish doing that!"_

_  
"Oh really?" Clarisse finally shouted angrily, fed up at being told what to do by everyone around her- Rupert, Joseph, parliament… and her own staff! She accepted it as part of her role in life, but she also longed for a little independence. "I'm selfish? How dare you say that to me? You are treading a very fine line Joseph Bonnell!" _

_She stopped for a moment, to catch her breath, and Joseph was watching her, calming down from his shock at her disappearance, but still rather angry at her._

"_Maybe you should step into my shoes for a day, Joseph, and realise that my job is harder than everyone seems to think it is! I have to put up with doing work that my husband should be doing (as well as turning a blind eye to his extramarital activities), my every move is watched by impersonal men in black suits, parliament wants me to accept their conservative views, and I even had to listen to my staff telling me WHAT I SHOULD DO! Does that sound like much fun to you?"_

"No, it doesn't," Joe said in a calmer tone. "But you need to realise…"

"Oh shut up, Joseph! If I have to be told one more time what I need to realise something else, I will explode! You've got it easy- all you have to is make sure that someone is keeping on an eye on me all the time, like a child! You don't know what it's like to me, and you don't even care… you just pretend to care!" 

"_That's not true, Clarisse… I do care about you, and what happens to you," Joe said quietly, and Clarisse only gave him a snort of disbelief. "I do know you, Clarisse Renaldi… more than anyone else in this palace, and definitely more than your own husband! Why do you think everyone seems to relate to Rupert more? Because they see you as an ice maiden who won't let anyone in- and no one likes that! I very much doubt even Rupert has seen the best side of you because you've shut it all away… not that I blame you… but, I'm the only one who has seen the real you!"_

_He stopped suddenly, realising how hurtful his comments were, and he saw that Clarisse looked as though she had been slapped. He took a deep breath and walked slowly towards her._

"_I do understand…" he began softly, but she turned away from him._

"_Oh, leave me alone!" she shouted over her shoulder, and began stalking back towards the palace, even angrier than when she was before. But she suddenly realised that Joseph was right… no one knew the real her…_

_0000_

_Clarisse sighed as she turned over in bed for the fifth time that night- it was, admittedly, a rather warm night, but she couldn't sleep even when the air conditioning was on… She couldn't forget what Joseph had said to her that afternoon- she had been selfish for disappearing without letting anyone know, and that people couldn't relate to her because she was seen as cold… She knew it was the truth, but it had shaken her up to have someone actually tell her that! _

_But how can I let someone into my heart when all they want to do is hurt me? She argued with herself in her head, and she couldn't think of a single reason why people wouldn't hurt her… but, if she was really honest, there was someone who had never hurt her, and she had let in… Joseph…_

_She sighed again as she sat up in bed and switched on her light- she couldn't sleep, and it wasn't about the heat… she felt guilty and bad that she had yelled at Joseph, when he was only doing her job. She had been furious at the time but, in retrospect, she knew he was right… She hated the thought that they weren't speaking- at least he was a friendly face in a mostly Rupert allied palace, and she needed all the friendly faces she could get. She knew that it was late- Joseph would probably be asleep- but she wanted to make up… and the way she knew she could get through was through his favourite food- chocolate cake!_

_The palace was very quiet as she quietly crept downstairs and headed towards the kitchen. As she stood in front of the door, she thought she heard noises from inside, but she walked in…to find Joe preparing a tray of two cups, a teapot and a slab of chocolate cake._

"_What are you doing here?" they asked together, frozen on the spot, and Joe grinned guiltily._

"_I thought that I would make a peace offering… I was hoping that you weren't asleep when I brought it up…" he waved to the tray, and Clarisse smiled as she sat down in a chair next to the tray._

"_That's what I was going to do!"_

"_Well, since we're both here, we might as well have our cake here!" Joe said jovially, sitting down opposite her and unloading the tray._

"_Joseph…" Clarisse began softly, watching him pour the tea, and distribute the cake between two plates. "I'm sorry I yelled at you this afternoon… you were right, I shouldn't have disappeared without letting you know where I was, but I just had to get out…"_

"I understand," Joe said as he slid one plate over to her, and gave her an understanding look. "I'm sorry too… I didn't mean to let that get so out of control, but I was worried about where you were…and I definitely didn't mean what I said about you being an ice maiden…"

"But it's the truth, isn't it?" Clarisse smiled sadly over at him. "I am cool and distant, and I should let people in, but… I've had so many people pretend to be my friend over the years, and then betray my confidence… is it any wonder that I don't let people in?"

"Well, it's their problem if they don't know the real you… I know people- including your own husband- have hurt you deeply, Clarisse, but you can't let that stop you from showing people how truly wonderful you really are," Joe said softly as he moved to the chair next to her, and she smiled tearfully over at him. 

"_How is it that I can never stay mad at you for long?"_

"I'm too charming for you," Joe joked and she laughed.

"That could be it- I always had a weak spot for handsome, charming men… but there is someone who I have let into my life… and my heart," she added softly, looking meaningfully at him, and he only blushed.

* * *

By the time the bridal shower rolled around, a few days before the wedding, Mia and Clarisse had made up, and everything was back on track…But, better than that, Mia had a project on which she could focus on after her wedding and coronation- the building of a new children's shelter. During the parade, Mia had stopped it to visit some of the waving children in the crowds, and was horrified to discover that the shelter was close to being closed permanently. 

"They can't do that!" Mia stormed on the way back to the palace. "Those poor children already don't have a home of their own, but then to lose the only home they've ever known… Grandma, we've got to do something!"

"Yes dear, but what do you suggest we do?" Clarisse asked mildly, and Mia furrowed her brow for a moment before her eyes lit up.

"I know! We can raise the money to build a new shelter… and, until we're able to do that, the children can stay in the Winter Palace… it's unfair that I should have two homes, and they have none."

"Whatever you do, you will have my full support," Clarisse smiled proudly at the girl, and laughed as she watched Mia literally race into the palace, Lily hot on her heels, almost as soon as the car stopped.

"Whatever you do, parliament is in for a few surprises!" she laughed softly to herself.

"She's a good girl, though, and she did the right thing to see the children," came a voice from behind her, and Clarisse smiled at Joseph.

"I was rather surprised, but I was proud of her too… it's exactly what Phillipe would have done."

0000

Before he knew it, the palace was soon full of giggling Princesses, and Joe couldn't help but watch the surfing mattress adventure from his television screen. His heart began racing when he saw Clarisse walk slowly up the stairs, and laughed with pleasure when he saw her easily 'fly' down the slide. He walked quietly around the front of the palace to stand on the balcony to watch the talent part of the evening, and was rather surprised when he heard Lily announce that the last act of the evening was 'Her Majesty!". He laughed softly as Clarisse protested weakly, but he knew that she wouldn't mind doing it… and he was right as she waved her hands to silence the group, before singing:

"_Some girls are fair  
Some are jolly and fit  
Some have a well-bred air  
Or a well-honed wit _

Each one's a jewel  
With a singular shine  
A work of art  
With it's own rare design…" 

He watched, awestruck, as she walked towards her granddaughter and hold out her hands for the stunned Mia. There was a genuinely warm relationship between the two, and it always delighted Joe to see their close bond. He chuckled softly to himself when the music sped up, and he saw the stunned reaction on her face.

As he listened to her sing, Joe was almost in tears- it had been such a long time since she had really sung… but she had surprised everyone at Mia's eighteenth birthday by getting up and singing again- something she hadn't done since Phillipe had died. She had sung two songs- one of Mia's favourites, and the other one of her favourite songs…

"_What did you do?" _He heard her call to Mia as the music sped up, and the relief was obvious on her face when Mia's friend, Asana, raced up onto the mini stage with her.

After she had finished the song, the standing ovation making her blush, Clarisse couldn't believe that she hadn't done it- she very rarely sung anymore, but it had given Mia so much pleasure, as was obvious when she walked over to her and hugged her.

"You're a naughty, naughty girl!" Clarisse wagged a finger at her, but she wasn't at all angry. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a shadow standing unobtrusively in the doorway, and she smiled tenderly at him before he slipped outside, unnoticed by everyone else… she knew that Joseph loved to hear her sing, and it was almost as much for him as it was for Mia…


	5. Clarisse's Decision

_Author's Note: This is shorter than most of my chapters, but the others should be longer… I was almost crying while writing this…_

_The Princess Diaries belongs to Disney and Meg Cabot._

Joe looked at his reflection in the mirror- something he very rarely did- and decided he looked fine… despite the fact that, as usual, he was wearing black, which Clarisse sometimes teased him about...

000

"Have you ever thought about wearing another colour?" she asked him occasionally, but it wasn't until she asked him recently that he had really thought about it.

"I have," Joe admitted with a laugh. "But it's hard to be 'invisible' (or being close to it) when you're wearing bright blue or red… Have you tried it?"

"No… but I don't wear black all the time… and, besides, I'm meant to be looked at…."

"Yes, but there was a time that you wore black for far too long, which was understandable at the time, but I was pleased when you started wearing your favourite colours again."

"Yes, I don't particularly like wearing black, unless necessary… but alright, I understand that you need to wear black… but would you ever wear other colours- for example, when you happen to retire? Don't roll your eyes at me, you are going to one day…"

"I suppose I would wear other colours then… what colours do you think would suit me?"

He was well aware that it was flirtatious question to ask his queen, but she was looking directly at him, her eyes narrowed pensively.

"I think you might look good in brown or blue… but, I have to admit, you do wear black well," she smiled endearingly at him, and he only laughed again…

000

He smiled at the thought of that conversation, and checked his reflection again- today was going to be an important day, and the climax to their relationship… he had proposed to Clarisse just over two weeks earlier, and he felt that he had given her enough time to think it over…

He felt a slight twinge of guilt when he had seen the slightly panicked look in her eyes the previous day- one of the bridesmaid's dresses hadn't appeared- and he knew that he should really wait until it was all over and done with, but he had spent almost thirty years waiting for her… He wanted to make her his wife, and it was time that a decision about their future was made.

"Good morning Scott!" he said cheerfully a few minutes later as he strode into the security room, where he found Scott nursing a cup of coffee at the table. "I assume all the others are still asleep or at the gym?"

"Yes… I will be so glad when this is all over, and I can get back to sleeping in!"

Joe laughed as he poured himself a cup of coffee, before joining Shades at the table.

"I don't think that's going to be in the cards for you, young Scott… I think there may be a possibility that you'll be stepping into my shoes once the current Queen steps down!"

"I don't think so… maybe Her Highness will want you to stay on…"

"I'm willing to stay on for a little while, if necessary, but I'm not going to do it forever… there are other things that I want to do with my time now…."

"All of which involve a certain Queen?" Shades looked up with a sly look, and Joe grinned.

"Hopefully… if I'm lucky…"

"Joe, I don't know what you're worrying about… she's going to say yes, and then we'll have the chance to celebrate a second royal wedding!"

"I wish I could be as confident as you, Scott," Joe said calmly, sipping his coffee.

Although he knew Clarisse would want to, more than anything, there had been too many hurdles thrown in Mia's way in the past few weeks to make Clarisse entirely comfortable about leaving her. Joe was hoping against hope that she would listen to her heart, rather than her head, but he also knew that there was a strong pull from her duties and responsibilities… he had found it admirable over the years, but now… he longed for her to have her own life, away from public duty and responsibility, and with him… he had loved her for so long, and it was time for them to make their relationship official…. Yet, he realised that there would be factions that would look down on him….

Shades grinned at him- he could tell what Joe was thinking, and he couldn't blame him.

"Joe, how many times do I have to tell you… she's crazy about you, always has been, and who really cares about what other people think about you two? The only person that should really matter, apart from the two of you, is the Princess… and, if I think she's as much like her father as she seems to be, she will be more than happy for you… Why are you so nervous about her decision, anyway?"

"I've decided that today is the day…." he trailed off, unable to finish the sentence.

"I'm sure that she made her decision on that first day, and she's been dragging out your suspense for the past two weeks," Shades said confidently, and Joseph had to laugh, knowing that it wouldn't be true.

"Most women do it, you know… Charlotte made me wait nearly a week before she said she would go out with me!"

"Well, that was funny," Joe chuckled as he remembered the state Scott was in until Charlotte happily agreed. "She knew how to press your buttons!"

"Yes, but she's a great girl anyway," Shades said with a fond smile, before looking directly at Joseph again. "But I can tell you, for certain, that Her Majesty won't let you get away… she's much too clever a woman for that!"

"I hope you're right, Scott," Joe said thoughtfully, now both nervous and excited about Clarisse's answer. "I hope you're right."

* * *

Clarisse, meanwhile, hadn't slept very well the previous night, and was feeling rather tired as she sat down to her usual solitary breakfast, listlessly looking at the front page of the newspaper on top of the pile she had to read. She was still very concerned about Mia and the wedding, as well as the coronation, but there was something more troubling on her mind that day… the decision she had to tell Joseph, when she had the chance.

He had given her several meaningful looks over the past few days (and thankfully people had interrupted her before she had the chance to tell him), and she knew it was unfair to drag the situation out anymore. It had taken her every day of the two weeks since the proposal to make her decision, and it had been the hardest one she had ever made… Just the times she and Joseph had spent together over the weeks, reminiscing, had made it all the more difficult, but she knew it was the right way to go…

She couldn't marry him, not at that point in time… Mia's claim to the throne, given the hurdles she had endured, was still precarious, and Clarisse would only relax when Mia was on the throne and happily married… it was unfair, she thought bitterly to herself, that both Mia and herself had to sacrifice their own personal happiness for the sake of Genovia, but she knew that Mia had to come first… at least for now. She knew that Joseph would understand her decision- she still wanted to marry him, more than anything, but he just had to wait a little while longer… She even had planned what she was going to say to him… however, she was brought back to earth by the sound of one of her doors opening.

"Good morning, Grandma!" came the cheerful voice from the doorway, and Clarisse looked up from her newspaper to see Mia standing there, pyjama clad and grinning at her.

"What on earth are you doing up at this hour?" Clarisse asked as she glanced at her watch in astonishment. "I would have thought you would have been in bed for at least another hour!"

"I can't… final fitting for the wedding dress this morning, remember?" Mia collapsed into the chair opposite her, and Clarisse suddenly remembered.

"That's right… is Charlotte going with you to that?"

"Yes, and then I've got to spend the rest of the day practicing archery… why on earth do they have that tradition, anyway?"

"I've told you that- it's about lighting your own eternal flame… and I think that it's quite a lovely symbolic tradition…."

"Have you had to do it?" Mia asked pointedly, and Clarisse had to chuckle sheepishly.

"No… the suggestion, thankfully, never came up… your grandfather died, Phillipe was going to be King within the year, then… well, I guess parliament thought it wouldn't be such a good idea, and I'm very grateful I don't have to do it… But you'll do us all proud!"

"Thank you," Mia said quietly, looking at Clarisse intently- she hadn't thought about it, but Clarisse looked rather tired and sad… She had seemed to be so happy and carefree at the slumber party, but now… it was as if she had the world on her shoulders.

"Are you alright, Grandma… you look rather… tired?" Mia asked shyly, and Clarisse gave a start before waving her hand airily.

"I'm fine, darling… obviously that sleepover went a bit too late, and I have been rather busy these last few days… planning both a wedding and a coronation isn't exactly a walk in the park," she teased, and Mia grinned. "But I'm fine… I'll just be glad when this is all over…"

"Can't wait to dump it all on me, hey?" Mia teased as she stood up and stretched. "Don't worry… when I'm Queen, I'm going to put you to work anyway!"

"I'd like to see you try, my girl!" Clarisse had to laugh as Mia waved and disappeared out the door. Clarisse smiled after her for a moment- the girl had given her so much joy over the years, and she was going to be very proud once she became Queen…..

00000000

Clarisse was frantically busy for the rest of the day- there were still the final wedding details to oversee, but she was pleased to hear that the wedding dress was ready and waiting in Mia's suite.

"It's such a beautiful dress!" Charlotte raved when she came back from the final fitting, and Clarisse smiled. "You and the princess have such wonderful taste!"

"This was all Mia's doing… I just gave her my opinion about what looked pretty…I'll have to take your word for it about the dress. I've decided that I'm not going to see it until the wedding day… by the way, how were the bridesmaids' dresses?"

"Fine… Lily didn't like hers, but Mia convinced her that she would only be wearing it for one day… that cheered her up a little!"

"I'm sure it would have," Clarisse chuckled- Mia's best friend much preferred dark colours than light, but Mia had refused to consider black or grey at all.

"We're going to be setting up several place settings for your approval in the ballroom this evening…" Charlotte said after consulting her clipboard, and Clarisse nodded patiently.

"I'll see if I have time this evening- I'm fairly busy for the rest of the day… By the way, have you seen Joseph at all in your travels?"

"I think he and Scott are going through last minute plans for security at the wedding… why? Did you want to see him?"

"No, no, thank you… I just wondered where he was… I haven't seen him for most of the morning, that's all…"

If Clarisse was really being honest, she hoped that she wouldn't have to see him until later that evening… she had to tell him by then, she told herself sternly.

"If that's all…" Charlotte interrupted her thoughts, and Clarisse looked up with a smile.

"Of course… I'll come and find you if I need you… Thank you, Charlotte," she said quietly, and Charlotte looked at her for a moment.

The radiant look she had witnessed two weeks earlier had disappeared, and it had been replaced by something sad and resigned… of course, she was flat out with the wedding but, like Mia, she wondered why she was sad… she had her suspicions, but she sincerely hoped it wasn't true…

Clarisse waited until Charlotte had left the room before opening the desk drawer beside her, and pulling out a plain cream, unsealed envelope. Out of it she pulled a letter she had written earlier that morning, after thinking out what she was going to say the night before… if something happened, and Joseph didn't take the news like she thought, she hoped that this would help explain to him her decision….

"_My dearest Joseph,_

_This is the hardest letter I have ever had to write, about the hardest decision I have ever had to make… and I'm not exaggerating. Before I explain, I just want you to know how much I love you, and how difficult this decision was for me to make. You have been a constant and steady presence at my side for the past 20 something years, and I would be foolish not to admit that I have come to rely on you greatly. People would probably say that Queens should rely on their assistants, and not on their Head of Security, but I don't care… You have seen me through more tough times than I care to remember, and you have never shirked from your duty even once, for which I will always be grateful._

_The past two weeks have been the most agonising of my life, and I have not made this decision lightly. It has been made all the worse by all the memories that you and I have somehow managed to remember in the past few weeks, and it has made me realise that, no matter what happens, we have a deep, shared history together… not that this has helped me in any way… in fact, it has made me regretful._

_I wish that this answer was the one that you and I both want, but it isn't… I can't marry you, not at the moment, not while Mia still has so much to learn… What kind of grandmother would I be if I left her alone when everyone is trying to discredit everything she tries to do and say? She needs me, Joseph, now more than ever, and I have to consider the duty I have to her, as well as the feelings of the people, even before my own… and how I wish I didn't have to!_

_  
However, that is not to say that I don't want to marry you eventually… I do, with all my heart… you are the love of my life, and I don't want to lose you or the happiness we've had together over the years… All I'm saying is that we need to wait a little longer… just until Mia is finally settled into marriage and on the throne._

_Don't give up on me, or us, darling… I love you, with all of my heart, and one day we really will be together!  
All my love_

_Clarisse"_

Clarisse sighed as she finished re-reading the letter, wiping away the tears that had managed to slide down her cheeks while reading, before carefully folding the letter up and slipping it back into the envelope, before putting it back into her desk drawer.

She stared at the innocent looking envelope for a moment, unable to believe that it contained one of the most heartbreaking letters that she had had to write… She was already heartbroken at the thought of her decision, and the task she had to do, and she couldn't even imagine what was going to happen when they finally came face to face….

* * *

The rest of the day managed to slip by in mere seconds, or so it seemed, and Clarisse was surprised to hear the clock chime seven in the evening when she finally closed her notebook for the evening. Everything was finally arranged for the wedding, and the coronation was finally beginning to take shape… she would be glad to have an early night that night…

But she suddenly remembered that Charlotte had asked her to approve of a place setting, as well as music, for the reception. She sighed tiredly as she walked slowly out of the study, and headed in the direction of the ballroom. She was very surprised, and a little concerned, that Joseph wasn't anywhere in sight…

The ballroom was empty, apart from the table set up for her inspection, and she turned on the CD player as she went, smiling that she was finally comfortable with some items of technology, thanks to Mia and Joseph. She stepped towards the nearest palace setting to look at it, but she was listening to the orchestra, and she suddenly walked away from the table, swept up in the music she was listening to… It reminded her of some of the times she had danced with her husband but, more often, with Joseph… She slowly swayed to the music, before pretending to dance with someone… Joseph, preferably…

She failed to notice the dark shadow stepping into the ballroom, and he grinned as he watched her dance by herself for a moment… whenever she was alone, she always seemed to be less intimidating and more childlike, than when everyone was around… that was one of the things he found irresistible about her… But to see her dancing by herself was impossible to resist joining her…

"_Oh!" _she gave a cry of surprise when he took her into his arms, but she beamed happily at him- she was very happy to see him and felt very comfortable in his arms as she leant her head against his shoulder, drifting away. She had always loved the scent of his aftershave, and his goatee tickled against her forehead…

For a moment, she completely forgot about her decision and just relaxed, contented to be dancing in the arms of the man she loved… Joseph loved the moment just as much as she, her perfume always so intoxicating, but he also knew that the time had come…

"_Have you been thinking about us?" _he asked softly, and Clarisse's heart stopped for a moment as she realised that moment of truth had arrived. She didn't want to look at him, but she had to… she slowly raised her eyes, filled with compassion and pain, and met his, and he abruptly saw the decision in her eyes.

"_Yes I have," _she said softly, and he realised that he didn't need, or want, to hear her say any more…

"_I see… if you'll excuse me," _he said quickly, pulling away with a sad smile, and heading towards the door, ready to flee. But he was surprised to find that she followed him, and tugged him back towards the middle of the room.

"_You have to know what I was going to say," _she said desperately, neither of them noticing Charlotte standing at the top of the stairs, and slowly tiptoeing backwards, unwilling to witness the scene below her. _"Mia needs me now more than ever before. It's the monarchy. I mean, as Queen it's my responsibility… You know how it is."_

This wasn't going as she had planned but, deep down, she knew that that this was what was going to happen. She couldn't bear looking at him, seeing the hurt, pain and even anger in his eyes and countenance… this was the worst thing she had ever had to endure (excluding the death of Phillipe), and she wanted it to end… but not before he understood why….

Joseph, meanwhile, wasn't particularly surprised at her decision, but also disappointed and angry as well… at her, for not giving them a chance; at Mia, for always needing her grandmother; at parliament and the people, for always demanding so much of Clarisse, and not giving in return… He didn't want to hear what she had to say, but he knew he had to make one thing quite clear to her.

"_You were never just my Queen, Clarisse. You were the someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with."_

_  
"And I…" _she protested, trying to tell him that she felt the same way, and still wanted it, but she could tell he didn't want to hear it… he had had enough as he talked over her, ignoring her protests. She obviously wanted to be Queen, still, and he had to respect her wishes, even though, deep down, his conscience was telling him that it wasn't what she wanted anymore…

"_But, if you prefer me to see you first and foremost as Queen, I will oblige…"_

"_Joseph!" _She was almost in tears now, and she tried to reach out and stroke his cheek, as she had done many times before, but he visibly stiffened at her touch as he bowed formally to her, eyes on the floor.

"_Your Majesty." _He pulled away, unable to bear looking at her tearful face, and walked away… out the door.

She stared after him for a moment, hoping that he would come back… hoping that the anger, hurt and betrayal she saw in his eyes was only her imagination… but, as the seconds turned into minutes, she knew that he wasn't going to come back… she really had lost him.

She was dimly aware of the music still playing, and she walked over to the CD player, and firmly slammed the thing off- the last thing she needed to hear was wedding music, the happiest of all music, when she had just the only man she had ever, truly loved… the love of her life.

She looked down the table blindly for a moment, hoping that the noise she was hearing was a figment of her imagination, but she almost screamed when she realised that Charlotte was standing at the top of the stairs.

"_Your Majesty, may I have Princess Mia come and join you now to look over the wedding details?" _Charlotte looked expectantly at her and, for a moment, Clarisse felt nauseous at the fact that the world kept on turning, and she was expected to keep on going.

"_No, I… Princess Mia doesn't need… Not now Charlotte." _She started to turn away again, a headache beginning to form, but Charlotte's voice interrupted her thoughts again.

"_Do you wish to be served in the dining room…?" _she sounded a little uncertain as, suddenly, Clarisse snapped. All she wanted was some time to herself, to mourn over the fact that she had just lost Joseph….

"_NO! I just want __**one **__second for myself!"_ she practically shouted at Charlotte, before instantly realising what she had done, and turned back to Charlotte with an apologetic look.

"_Charlotte, I'm sorry… I'll get something from the kitchen later."_

However, she was surprised to see Charlotte looking at her, but with compassion and understanding on her face.

"_I understand, Your Majesty."_ Clarisse stared at her, stunned, before realising that Charlotte possibly understood more than she had ever realised.

"Thank you," she said softly, turning away before Charlotte could see the tears in her eyes.


	6. Crushed

_Author's Note: thank you for all the kind reviews… I was actually thinking of not continuing the story, but now I'm okay again…_

_The song lyrics (which I felt were perfect) were from 'How Do I Live' by Trisha Yearwood_

_The Princess Diaries belongs to Disney and Meg Cabot_

After he stormed out of the ballroom, the sound of music and Clarisse's desperate protests still ringing in his ears, Joseph stopped a few metres away on the balcony, and leant against the wall for a moment. He half hoped that Clarisse would follow him out here, and tell him that she had changed her mind… for a second, he thought she was going to as he saw her shadow step towards the doorway, but he was disappointed to find that she was only shutting the CD player off, rather abruptly, but making no move to walk outside. Disappointment welling in his chest with the anger and pain, when he heard Charlotte's voice, he silently walked off, heading towards the garden…

He stopped before he actually stepped onto the well manicured lawns- this was Clarisse's territory and, at the moment, he was in no mood to be anywhere near her, or anywhere near the things she loved, even though there were so many memories wrapped up in the garden… their talks, their jokes, their laughter…even their first kiss….

He gazed down at the silhouette of the pagoda, clear in the moonlight, and he remembered that that was where this had all started, two weeks previously. He sat down on the stairs for a moment, and looked back at the palace, aglow with lights. Somewhere in there Clarisse, the love of his life, was going about her business with possibly no thought as to the pain she had just inflicted on him…

No, he told himself sternly, that was not like the Clarisse he knew- just seeing her expression of pain told him that she hated her decision just as much as he did… Still, why did she have to put everyone else before them? Mia he understood- in fact, he would have questioned her if she hadn't put Mia first, but parliament, and the people… everyone except him!

He looked around him for a moment, and realised that he couldn't even bear to be in this place at the moment, but he also didn't want anyone to see the depth of his despair… Maybe he should go for a drive… but where?

"Evening, Joe," the night person in the garage called from his office as Joe entered from a side entrance, and Joe smiled briefly in his direction as he snatched a set of keys off the wall and stepped towards his favourite car… the car he had used to take Clarisse to his favourite spot, he thought with a pang, before shaking his head sternly. It was over, Clarisse had made her decision, and there was no point in thinking about her anymore… but it was going to be so hard, he thought to himself as he drove out of the palace gates and headed north, as he had worked closely with her for the past 20 something years, and there were so many memories that they had shared… But, he was going to have to make the effort, even if it meant a completely fresh start….

0000000000

An hour later, he arrived at his special spot, momentarily surprised that he hadn't been caught by the police for speeding, but knew that he was driving one of the palace cars, and they wouldn't pull them over. In addition, he realised that it usually only took him an hour to get there, it was only because Clarisse had been in the car that he had driven so carefully… She would have laughed if he had told her that…

He stared blindly out into the inky darkness as he stood at the railing, the sea somewhere out there, and took several deep breaths in… It was time to consider what had happened back at the palace… She had turned him down, that was for sure but, to his surprise, he felt guilty that he hadn't given her the chance to explain… she was clearly trying to tell him her reasons, but he wouldn't let her… he hadn't wanted to hear why, yet again, they had to come second (or third, in this instance) - all he had heard was that she didn't want to marry him… Yet, was that really the truth?

Thinking back, he remembered the obvious look of pain in her eyes when she had reluctantly looked at him, and he knew that she regretted it… but he angrily shook his head- she would have to learn to live with her regrets, as she had done for so many years, and he would have to learn to live without her… But how he could he, he thought bitterly to himself, when there were so many memories of them together…..

* * *

"_Joseph?" came her clear voice as they sat in her study- she was working at her desk, and he was waiting for her to finish before he escorted her down to her parliament session. He generally waited outside for her, but she had asked him to sit down while she finished her work._

"_Yes, Your Majesty?" he said in a teasing voice, and laughed loudly when she shot him a sharp look- he knew she hated it when he called her by her title, particularly when they were alone, but he couldn't resist it._

"_When are you going to take me out to that place again?" she looked at him expectantly over her glasses for a moment before turning back to her paperwork._

"_What place are you talking about?" he asked gently, knowing very well what she was talking about, but teasing her again. She looked up, slightly indignant, but then smiled when she realised that he was teasing her…_

"_You know very well what spot I'm talking about… we never stop there on our way to the beach, so I was wondering if you were secretly planning on taking me out there soon?"_

_  
"If you think I'm going to go through all that again, you're crazy!" he said calmly before they both laughed as they remembered the previous time… the police had been called…_

"_Alright… but don't forget that it wasn't my idea!" Clarisse protested, and Joe laughed._

"_I was wondering when you would try and disassociate yourself with the idea! Yes, I'll admit that it wasn't one of my greatest ideas, but you did enjoy it, didn't you?"_

"Yes I did… that's why I'm asking when you're going to take me out there again?"

"You'll just have to wait and see… I'm not willing to get arrested for a second attempt, and I know that the police won't melt so easily under your charm as they did before… Who knows, maybe I'll get sent to jail!"

"If they arrest you, Joseph, they'll have to take me with you," Clarisse said firmly, and Joe had to laugh at the mental image. 

"_That would look good in the papers- both the Queen and her Head of Security in jail!"_

_  
"It would give parliament something to talk about- their Queen being led astray by her Head of Security!" Clarisse sat back in her chair and yelped with laughter._

"_Excuse me?" Joe pretended to look offended. "I don't think it would be that way… you suggested the second trip, so it would be on your head!"_

_  
"So you would dob me in?" she looked at him winningly, and Joe only chuckled._

"_Tempting as that sounds… you know I couldn't do that to you… Alright, I may take you again soon, but only if you let a few people know where we're going… including your loyal assistant!"_

"Deal!" Clarisse beamed happily at him, before turning back to her work.

* * *

Joe couldn't help but smile at the thought of the conversation- they had been obviously flirting and thoroughly enjoying it, and he still found the image of the Queen following her Head of Security to jail funny. That was another of Clarisse's qualities that everyone else seemed to miss- she had a very good sense of humour, as well as the fact that she was extremely loyal and devoted to those she cared about… well, at least he had thought so until that evening…

He sighed heavily and realised that he couldn't stay there all night- he was supposed to be on duty that night, but he had swapped with Scott thinking that he might not have wanted to work that night… but now he could.

As he stood at the railing for a moment, still unable to believe that Clarisse had turned him down, he could have almost wept at the fact that he would never be married to the one woman he had always loved, and who loved him in return…

It showed in the looks she gave him- the way her eyes looked up when he came into the room… the way her blue eyes sparkled with pleasure whenever she saw him… the way her eyes always stayed on him, even when there were others present… it was no wonder that people were talking… but the way she had looked at him made him feel fearless- she loved him, and that was all that mattered!

He started the car and, as he drove back in the direction of Pyrus, he switched the car radio on (having travelled up in silence), and was surprised to hear the song that was playing… it was a song that wasn't particularly comforting at the moment, but it seemed to capture his feelings perfectly….

"_How do I get through one night without you?_

_If I had to live without you,_

_What kind of life would that be?_

_Oh and I, I need you in my arms,_

_Need you to hold…_

_You're my world, my heart, my soul_

_If you ever leave_

_Baby, you would take everything good in my life_

_And tell me now…_

_000_

_How do I live without you?_

_I want to know._

_How do I breathe without you?_

_If you ever go_

_How do I ever, ever survive?_

_How do I, how do I_

_Oh how do I live?..."_

Unable to bear listening to the rest of the song, he quickly changed stations- listening to songs like that would only make him feel even more depressed… his anger had dissipated slightly, but now he had to find a way to move on and live without his Clarisse….

* * *

Joe headed straight back to the palace, and headed towards the security room, hoping that no one would be there… His heart sank when he walked in and saw Scott and Lionel playing a game of chess in front of one of the television screens.

"Everything's all quiet- the princess is in her suite, and the Queen is in her suite," Scott said quickly, but then stopped when he saw the look on Joseph's face… something must have gone terribly wrong with Her Majesty…

After a split second, he turned to Lionel.

"I don't think I'm going to need you for the rest of the evening, Lionel… why don't you have an early night? The next two days are going to be chaos?"

"Are you sure?" Lionel asked, looking from Shades to Joseph, who was pouring himself a cup of coffee, before a quick nod from Shades told him that he was dismissed. Once Lionel disappeared out the door, Scott closed the door behind him, visibly startling Joe.

"What happened?" Scott asked in a rare quiet voice, and Joe shrugged his shoulders, still intent on stirring sugar into his coffee.

"Nothing much… she said no, and that's the end of that!" but the light words contradicted the obvious pain in Joe's voice, as Scott sighed regretfully, feeling sorry for both of them.

"What reason did she give?"

"Mia… the monarchy… her responsibilities as Queen… everything she's always said before, Scott," Joe said bitterly as he sat down at the table, and slammed his coffee cup onto the table.

"It doesn't matter now, it over, and I can accept that…" he trailed off as Shades sat down opposite him and looked thoughtful.

"You know, I can't ever remember you telling me that she's used that excuse before… she's always been so happy around you… did she actually say she didn't want to marry you?"

"No… I…"Joe stuttered, and Scott had a sudden insight into what had happened earlier.

"I bet you didn't give her the chance to explain, did you?"

"So what?" Joe snarled, looking up at him angrily. "I suppose you would have stayed there and let her ramble on about her responsibilities as Queen?"

"You knew she had those responsibilities from the very beginning, Joe," Shades said quietly. "I know she would have given it all up for you, but there's a lot at stake now, Joe…"

"You told me you thought she would say yes!"

"I thought, when you first told me, that she would, but… after everything that's happened in the past few weeks… would you have really been happy for her to throw it all away, and ignore Mia, to marry you?"

"No… I wouldn't have been happy about that," Joe admitted grudgingly.

"She didn't say no, Joe. She was trying to tell you that she had to make sure that Mia was going to be alright… In my books, that is definitely not a no!"

"It sounded like it to me!"

"You didn't give her the chance to explain, Joe, so you don't know what else she was going to say!"

Scott was getting rather sick of repeating himself, but he knew that Joe had to lash out at someone, and he much preferred that it was him, rather than the rest of the staff.

"Since you seem to be the expert on Clarisse, Scott, what do you think she would have said?"

"Joe, you're crazy about her and, from what I've seen, she's crazy about you… this would not have been a particularly easy decision for her… I think she was trying to tell you that she couldn't accept your proposal, not at that particular moment, but that she still wants to marry you… She won't be Queen for too much longer…."

"Why couldn't she have put us first, for once?" Joe was well aware of the fact that he was complaining about something that couldn't be changed, but he was angry, and hurt….

"Joe, she's still Queen of Genovia and she still has responsibilities beyond what you and I could ever imagine… But, I'm going to give you some advice… don't give up on her, or your chance at happiness… You two are a perfect match, and I don't want to see you giving up the best thing that's ever happened to you…"

Joe sighed- he knew that Scott was making a lot of sense, and he would realise it sooner or later, but at the moment he was too hurt and confused to listen, understand or care about what Clarisse was thinking… He was devastated…

Scott watched him for a moment, and understood that it was too soon to try and convince him not to give up on her…

"Joe, I think you need to have a drink… now, where did I see Paul hide that bottle?" he muttered to himself as he stood up and scanned the security room, and Joe had to laugh wearily. Scott was right- he did need to have something strong….

* * *

Half an hour, and two drinks later, Joe managed to slip away from Scott and walked slowly towards his room. He was desperately trying not to think of Clarisse in her suite, a floor or so above from him.

For a moment, he was tempted to walk to her suite, and stand outside her closed doors for a moment, imagining her inside… he had done it a few times in the past… but he shook his head regretfully. There wasn't any point trying to revive old dreams….

He didn't turn on any lights as he walked into his room, closing the door behind him, before heading straight to his double bed, sitting down heavily on it. He looked around for a moment- it was a little ridiculous to expect Clarisse, who was used to the finer things in life, to live in a tiny room such as this, he thought bitterly to himself….

He shifted slightly, aware of his walled digging into his back, and pulled it out. On a whim, he opened it up, and just as quickly wished he hadn't as he came fact to face with the photograph of Clarisse sitting in the first clear window… He smiled slightly at her beaming face smiling out at him- he had asked whether he could take one of her in the garden, and her expression was priceless…

* * *

"_Why on earth would you want to have a photograph of me, Joseph? You see me every day!" Clarisse looked at him quizzically after he had asked her, and he reddened slightly._

"_I would just like to have one of you, that's all."_

"If I were you, I would be thoroughly sick of seeing me every day… I'm sick of seeing myself on the covers of newspapers!"

"I could never get sick of seeing you every day!"

"You are very sweet, Joseph," Clarisse said with a gentler smile, brushing his cheek with her hand. "But now…?" I'm not sure about that… I don't look that…" she waved her hands down her outfit, and Joe only smiled. "I know! Why don't I request one of my posed photographs- you know, one from one of the balls, when I'm all dressed up and…"

"No, thank you… I would much prefer a picture of you now… to me, this when you look your best- you're not restricted by your clothing (or protocol), your hair is slightly mussed from the wind… but you look happy… You love being in your garden, and that's how I like seeing you." 

"_I'm not going to be able to convince you otherwise, am I?" Clarisse looked at him with an amused smile, her head cocked to one side, and Joseph laughed and shook his head. "Alright," she pretended to sigh heavily, and looked around her. "Where would you like me to stand?"_

_  
"Maybe you could stand near one of your rose bushes?" Joe said quietly, as he hastily pulled his camera out of his pocket. He was still shocked that he had asked for a picture, and even more stunned that she had agreed to it._

"_Alright… and what do you think of this as a pose?" she teased as she posed outrageously, and Joe laughed out loud._

"_Just be yourself!" he mock scolded her, and she laughed as she relaxed again._

"_I really don't like having photographs taken…" she complained loudly before she gave him one of her most genuine smiles, and Joe quickly took the picture._

"_There… are you satisfied now?" Clarisse teased as she relaxed, and Joe smiled as he offered her his arm, and she accepted it- they were a long way away from the palace (and the intrusive cameras), and it showed in the way Clarisse relaxed around him._

"_Yes, I am," he said as he shoved his camera away._

"_You'll have to show me that picture when you get it developed!"_

_  
"Why? So you can rip it up?" he teased, and she chuckled._

"_No, although that is tempting… I'm just interested to see how different I look when I'm ot posed, and dressed to kill!"_

_  
"I can tell you that you look beautiful either way… but I much prefer you like this," Joe said shyly, and looked away quickly as Clarisse looked his way, surprised, but Clarisse gently pulled his face back towards hers._

"_You prefer me like this?"_

_  
"Of course… this is closer to the real you than the rest of that nonsense!"_

"_Thank you… I much prefer the way I am now, rather than with the rest of that 'nonsense' as you call it… it's so boring and fake, and I can't bear anymore of it…"_

_  
"You've never seemed fake to me, Clarisse."_

"_That's because you've seen the real me… no one else has…"_

* * *

Joe sighed as he tossed his wallet onto the dressing table, the photo still in it's special pocket, and quickly changed into his pyjamas before climbing into bed… He was suddenly very tired, which was a surprise he hadn't done that all much during the day, as Clarisse had been in meetings, but the events of the past few hours had drained him of all emotion and feeling… but even as he lay there in the dark, he found that although he was tired, he wasn't sleepy…

He suddenly remembered the last time he had felt like this- when Phillipe had been killed, and he had been with Clarisse for most of the week leading up to the funeral… it had been an honour and a privilege to witness her pain and devastation, but it had torn up him as well- not only at the senseless death of a young man in his prime, ready to be King, and who had been a nice guy with whom he watched basketball (and football) games with, but also seeing Clarisse's total and utter despair at his loss… She had been upset at the death of her husband, but that grief was only minor compared to the pain he had witnessed with the death of Phillipe… He could even remember accompanying her to the hospital…

He shook his head regretfully… she had suffered so much in the past ten years- the abdication of Pierre, the illness and death of her husband, and then the death of her adored younger son, and he felt sorry for her… But she had turned down the chance of happiness with him, and now they both had to live with the decision…

Only, he thought sadly, he didn't think he could continue living in the same place as her, knowing what had happened between them (including her turning him down). He had already considered retirement after she stepped down, particularly as his knees were paining him a great deal, but now his decision was accelerated by the fact that he had to move on with his life… He had been looking forward to his retirement, hoping that he would be able to enjoy it with Clarisse, but now….

He sighed heavily as he realised that he had to pen a letter explaining his decision to her… he was in no mood to, of course, but he knew that it was the right thing to do… he didn't feel like quitting the next day, just before Mia's wedding (that would create only more gossip around the palace), but as soon as she was crowned, his resignation would be effective as of the day after… He was supposed to give at least a month's notice, but seeing that he was the senior head, and Scott had been working diligently at his side for the past three or four years, he knew that it could be waived… But first, before he began planning for beyond the palace, he had to write the letter….

"_Your Majesty _(how he longed to call her Clarisse, especially after everything that had happened between them, but he also knew it would be better to stay cool and professional)

_It has been a great honour and privilege to work for you for the past 30 or so years. I have learnt a great deal, seen a great deal more of the world that I had ever imagined, and met people that I never thought I would meet. _

_However, my doctor insists that I retire permanently from active service, on account of my knees, and I feel that it is a decision that I cannot ignore. I will continue working in an advisory capacity to the new Head of Security, and I am willing to continue training young men._

_It has been a privilege and honour working for you, Your Majesty, and I will never forget the experiences._

_Yours faithfully_

_Joseph Bonnell" _

* * *

"You're WHAT?" Scott said loudly the next morning, almost dropping his cup of coffee in shock, when Joseph told him of his decision. "Why on earth are you doing that for?"

"Because I think it's time for me to go- my knees are still paining me greatly," Joe said calmly, thankful that no one else was in the room as Shades looked at him shrewdly.

"You've never complained about them before... in fact, you've been doing things that would have put even more pressure on them then… this is about what happened last night, isn't it?"

"Yes… I can't keep working here, with her around, and not pretend that nothing has happened between us… As soon as Mia's crowned, I'm leaving," Joe said, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"But Joe… the Princess is going to need you around in the first few months to…."

"Don't you mean you're going to need me around to help?" Joe said with a grin, not at all surprised that Scott was shocked by his decision.

"Alright, there's that too, but is this….

"Scott, I've made my decision, and that's final. I've spent too many years pretending, and I've had enough."

"When are you going to tell her- and what are you going to tell her?"

"I'm not telling her- I've written a letter, and I'm giving it to you to pass on to her," he handed Scott a plain coloured envelope from his coat pocket, and Scott looked at it for a moment, before looking back at Joseph. He really must be hurt and angry to make such an impulsive decision, and write a letter to the woman he loved, instead of telling her himself.

"You don't have to give it to her now… just as soon as the wedding's finished… I know that the coronation plans are almost complete, and she'll be getting ready to step down…

"I don't know, Joe…" Scott said uneasily, before nodding silently. Joe may think that he was going to give this to the Queen, but he had no intention of… these two were clearly meant to be together, and he was going to find a way to push them back together!


	7. What Have I Done'

_Author's Note: this chapter was almost as difficult to write as the other one, but it's all good! Thanks to everyone for their reviews- this chapter is for you!_

_The Song lyrics are from 'How Do I Live' by Trisha Yearwood_

_The Princess Diaries belongs to Meg Cabot and Disney_

For a moment after she shouted at Charlotte, Clarisse felt the world spin around her, and she honestly thought that she was going to faint as she held onto the table for support, but the feeling passed.

Trying to ignore the pain in her heart, and the tears she was fighting back, she took a deep breath and turned back to Charlotte, who was standing at the top of the stairs, looking sympathetic.

"I think the orchestral music for the wedding reception is lovely, Charlotte… was Princess Mia planning on having a DJ, as she said she would?"

"I think so, Your Majesty… I have one booked," Charlotte said as she wrote quickly onto her notepad before looking at Clarisse again expectantly.

"What about the place settings for the tables, Your Majesty?"

"Oh!" Clarisse looked at the different settings for a moment, remembering that she had been looking at each of them before….

"They all look fine, Charlotte… whatever the Princess wants is fine with me."

She was trying, with great difficulty, to keep her mind on the task at hand but it was so hard… She looked out the doors that led out onto the balcony, the ones that Joseph had just walked out of, and wondered whether he was still out there, listening….

"Alright, I'll go and talk to the Princess then…" Charlotte lingered for a moment, watching Clarisse intently. If what she had happened to accidentally witness a few moments before was what she suspected, Clarisse would be in no condition to consult with the princess that evening… and the snapping was completely understandable.

Clarisse, still gazing out of the doors, realised that Charlotte was still standing there, waiting for further instructions, and she turned and looked up at her with a slight smile.

"Thank you, Charlotte… I'll be in my study or the kitchen if anyone needs me…."

The sound of Charlotte's heels fading down the hallway told Clarisse that she was finally alone, and she now had to consider what had just happened between herself and Joseph… The thought of Joseph made tears well up in her eyes, and she realised that she couldn't think properly in the ballroom, where it happened, so she quickly ascended the stairs (half knowing what she was doing) and hastened towards the privacy of her suite, the tears still threatening to spill.

She quickly walked into her suite, and was only vaguely aware of the doors closing behind her as she leant against the wall before walking over and sinking onto the couch, anguish and disappointment welling in her. There was still a sense of unreality and disbelief about her decision, hence she couldn't cry, but she knew how she felt deep down.

She was literally heartbroken over the choice she had made- just seeing Joseph's face had made her feel even guiltier, and the heartbreak even worse... He had looked so hurt and disappointed, not to mention angry, which made her feel ashamed. He had never hurt her over the years, or made her angry (he had infuriated her on several occasions, she thought dryly) - in fact, he was the only person who hadn't hurt her, and after all those years of support and love, she had shown her gratitude by turning around and breaking his heart…

She gripped her knees tightly as she sat there, and realised that she had done the wrong thing- her decision had cost her the love of her life…

"Why must I always consider my responsibilities before anything else in my life?" she asked herself softly, looking up and her eyes instantly met the portrait of her hanging over the fireplace. She had always liked that portrait- done twenty years earlier- but, looking closer at it, there was something (or a few details) that she hadn't noticed before…. She may have been smiling for the artist, but it wasn't one of the happy smiles she gave Joseph or Mia so often… it was a cool smile, but the overriding emotion was unhappiness…

Looking even closer, her stature was stiff and proud, but not revealing very much about her and her eyes… her eyes were the worst… they showed how lonely and unhappy she really was….

She sighed heavily and looked around the room, while still sitting on the floor- it was one of her favourite places in the world, after her garden but, at the moment, it made her feel nauseous… What use was it living in opulence and grandeur, the world at your feet, when you didn't have the man you loved at your side? She had never really cared about most of the material possessions in the room, but now… it made her almost sick to think of living in this opulence for the rest of her life, almost like a prison, when she had just lost the love of her life.

Joseph had never seemed to notice his surroundings (or even be fazed by them), and Clarisse was relieved to find that they shared the same, very simple tastes… not that it would help remembering that at the moment. She stood up and headed towards her bedroom and, sitting down heavily on the side of the bed, she opened one of her cabinet drawers to pick up the photograph of Joseph she kept hidden there… He had never realised she had it, and her heart thumped faster as she looked at the photograph, despite her unhappiness… He always took such great photos (no matter what he said), and his brown eyes and slightly cheeky smile were the first things she had noticed about him… she could gaze at him (and this photograph) all day… His features were what she had really noticed about him, and what had made her fall in love with him…

It had taken a long time for them to admit their feelings for each other, but knowing that the chemistry between was a lot more than friendship, it had been a huge relief when they had admitted their feelings were not friendship, but love… Her most precious memory was of the time when Joseph first told her he loved her….

* * *

_It was a cool autumn day when they were wandering in the garden- Clarisse, for once, had the afternoon off, and she was rejoicing over the fact that she was able to spend her afternoon in her beloved garden, Joseph at her side. Joe, however, kept looking up at the looming dark clouds with some apprehension._

"_What are you looking so worried about, Joseph?" she asked teasingly when she spotted him glancing at the sky for the fourth or fifth time within ten minutes._

"_I was just wondering how long it's going to be before the rain arrives… and, judging by the clouds, it shouldn't be too far away!"  
"Are you afraid of getting wet, Joseph?" she teased gently. "Are you afraid that you will melt if you get rained upon?"_

"_No… I'm only thinking that you might not like to get drenched, that's all," Joe laughed easily, and Clarisse only shrugged her shoulders carelessly._

"_Oh well… it's only a little bit of rain, that's all! So, how long you do you think we have until the downpour?"_

_  
"About ten minutes- if not less," Joe said as he looked at the sky again._

_Sure enough, less than ten minutes later, the first drops of rain gave them the warning that they should get inside, before the rain began bucketing down, startling both of them by the intensity and quickness of the shower._

"_Aaaah!" Clarisse squealed in surprise before running towards the palace, Joseph hot on her heels._

"_What are you doing? Aren't we supposed to be actually going through a door?" he shouted over the rain as they huddled underneath the narrow gutter, and she smiled at him before pressing something behind her, which revealed a door in front of them._

"_We are supposed to do that, but I really don't want my staff seeing me soaking wet," she said calmly as she closed the door behind him, encompassing the narrow tunnel in darkness. "Just follow me, and you'll see where we're going."_

_  
Joe followed closely behind her in the darkness, literally not knowing where he was, but the warm pressure of her hand in his reassured him, before she suddenly stopped and he almost crashed into her. Clarisse smiled to herself- she liked having a slight edge on Joseph, but she liked it even more that he was standing so close to her!_

"_Here we are!" she said triumphantly, opening yet another door, and Joe found himself stepping into her suite. She chuckled delightedly at his expression of shock. "I suppose I really surprised you, didn't I?"_

"_Yes," he said honestly. "I always knew there were plenty of secret tunnels around the place, but I never realised that you had one of your own!"_

"Oh yes… how on earth do you think I managed to get out of the palace without you seeing me that time? I even have a secret tunnel in my study… and the boys loved it! Anyway, let me go and find some towels to dry off…"

"I'm glad to see that your maids have already had your fire lit!" Joe called as she disappeared into her bedroom, and he wandered over towards the crackling fire, shedding his wet leather jacket as he went. 

"_Yes… I'm glad about that…"Clarisse's voice came drifting back through the suite, and Joe nodded._

"I wish I had a fireplace in my room," he said enviously.

"Don't you have one?"

"No, it's a very small room, and it would be rather useless as I have no chimney," he said teasingly as she came back into the room, a pile of towels in her hand, and handed him several of them to him before walking over to stand in front of the fire.

She herself had changed her clothes, and he watched her for a moment as he absentmindedly dried himself off. She was still as stunning wet, and he was fascinated by how much lovelier she looked when she was rid of her makeup and formal clothes… That was the way he liked her, always had… in fact her less formal self was the woman he had fallen in love with… 

"_I love you," he said suddenly and Clarisse, who was fluffing her hair out, looked over at him, shocked. Joseph silently cursed his impetuosity, and sincerely hoped that it hadn't sounded too forward, but he had been wanting to tell her that for a long, long time…_

_Clarisse, meanwhile, was stunned at his sudden pronouncement- he had always been so gentlemanly like but reserved… she had often wondered whether her feelings for him were one sided… Sure, they had shared several wonderful kisses in the past, and she loved the way he made her feel so safe, no matter where they were, but she had wondered whether her loneliness and unhappiness had made her fall for him… She was in love with him, there was no doubt about that, but she had long since accepted that he mightn't feel the same way._

"_I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that," Joe said apologetically as Clarisse continued looking stunned, before she smiled broadly and walked towards him._

"_You love me?" she said in a soft voice, her eyes glimmering with tears, and he nodded bashfully. "You know, no one has ever just come out and told me that… ever," she said sadly, thinking back on her relationships with her parents and Rupert. It was assumed that her parents had loved her, but she knew the truth about Rupert- he was fond of her, but it wasn't love._

"_Well I do… I love you no matter what you wear, no matter what mood you're in, and no matter what you say… I love you from the top of your head to the fancy shoes you always wear," he said, gaining courage as he went, telling her what he had always dreamed of telling her._

"_Thank you… I…I…" Clarisse stuttered as she stopped in front of him, tears spilling down her cheeks. She was almost overwhelmed by the joy she was feeling at that moment- he really loved her!_

"_I love you too… very, very much," she said softly, and Joe only smiled as he took her into his arms and looked at the face he knew so very well. "I've… I've never felt the way I do when I'm around you…" she trailed off, looking down for a moment, but he cupped her chin his hand and looked intensely into her blue eyes._

"_You deserve to be loved so much more than most people around here… you have given so much to Genovia, and…" he stopped, realising that he wanted to promise her that he would one day make her happy, but at the moment, it was only a dream… Clarisse smiled, sensing that he was going to say something more, but couldn't…_

"Thank you… you're the one person who really understands me…"

* * *

Clarisse took a shaky deep breath in, but still the tears wouldn't come… it was if she really was made of ice, but she knew that that was far from true… she felt far too much at the moment, and she wished desperately that the tears would come so that she could assuage (if only a little) the intense heartache she was feeling! Joseph had seen so many of her tears, and had never told a soul about them… not only he had been her loyal and dedicated Head of Security, but he had been a secret keeper, never telling a soul about what happened between the two of them… 

She sighed again, and then realised that she was hungry- she had skipped dinner on the chance she might have collided with Joseph earlier than planned, as well as the fact she didn't feel like talking to anyone… but now that she knew that the kitchen would be empty, and she needed to eat, even if she wasn't at all hungry….

She changed into her pyjamas and dressing gown, not caring that people would see her in her bedroom attire, and after grabbing a book she had been intending to read for a while, she headed out of her suite. As she passed by Mia's suite, she was slightly surprised to hear nothing from inside, but that was understandable- Mia was trying to prepare for the 'wedding of the year' in two days time, as well as her coronation. She felt sympathetic to Mia, all the pressure was on her at the moment to be both the perfect bride and the perfect Queen, and Clarisse knew all too well that the pressure was sometimes all too much…

Thankfully the kitchen was empty when she entered it, but she didn't feel like cooking anything too substantial… it was rather childish, but all she really wanted was a plate of the chef's delicious chocolate chip cookies which she knew he had baked that afternoon) and a glass of milk... She was secretly hoping that Joseph would show up, as he always did when he suspected that she was there, but as the time slowly dragged by, she realised that he wouldn't come, possibly suspecting that she would be here… The book lay open on the table before her, but she wasn't reading it… she couldn't help but continue to dwell on what had happened before….

It had been so dreadful- she had suspected that Joseph wouldn't take it well, knowing that he had put his heart on the line for her, but she hadn't realised how much so when he walked out on her, without listening to what she had to say. She knew he had been hurt and angry to not listen to what she had to say… She now almost felt as bad as when Phillipe had been killed, but, at least on that occasion, Joseph had been at her side all that week…. He had even accompanied her to the hospital, for which she would always be grateful…

* * *

_Most of the memories of that day were blurred, but Clarisse could still remember that she had been feeling rather apprehensive all afternoon, and the feelings only intensified when Joseph walked quietly into the room looking unusually sober, and even slightly ashen, as she rose slowly from her chair._

"_Clarisse, I need to talk to you…" he began softly as Clarisse almost instinctively turned away from him and headed towards the window. She didn't want to hear it- it was probably about some crisis in parliament, and she didn't need to know. The touch of his hand as it enclosed hers stopped her in her tracks, and she turned to look at him, fear in her eyes._

"_What's wrong?" she asked softly as he led her towards the couch, and sat down next to her, his hand still holding hers._

"_It's about Phillipe," he began, wondering how he was going to tell her the news._

"_What about Phillipe?" she looked at him with a sweet smile, and it broke Joseph's heart to look into the innocent blue eyes he loved so much, and find the words to tell her that her youngest son was gone._

"_Clarisse… darling… there was a serious car accident on the way back from the beach house this afternoon and Phillipe… Phillipe was killed…"_

_  
Clarisse stared disbelievingly at him for a moment, her face slowly draining of all colour._

"_Clarisse, I…" he continued, but the rest of the words were drowned out as Clarisse continued to stare at him in horror as tears welled in her eyes, before she slowly stood up, as if in a dream, and walked towards the window to stare blankly out onto her garden… Her son, her beloved Phillipe was gone, and her life would never be the same again…_

"_Where is he… now?" she managed to ask hoarsely as Joe joined her at the window._

"_He's at the hospital, but I don't think…" he stopped when she glared at him icily._

"_I would like to go there… can you arrange a car for me?"_

"_Of course," he bowed to her, and Clarisse blindly reached out for his hand for a moment._

"_Will you be accompanying me?" she asked softly, and he nodded._

"_I wouldn't be anywhere else, Clarisse," he said before hastening out of the room to make the arrangements._

_000000_

_The press, predictably, was already at the hospital when the royal car arrived, but they maintained a respectful silence and distance as the Queen made her way into the hospital. Joseph waited patiently outside the room she was led to and he was shocked at her appearance when she finally emerged- the shock of seeing her son had aged her within half an hour. She looked at him for a moment- she never wanted to see anything like that again…_

"_Let's go, Joseph," was all she said in a quiet voice, and he guided her back to where the car was waiting, at the back entrance. She looked down at the ground as she stepped into the car, but looked up when he made a move to close the door._

"_Please sit with me in the back, Joseph," she said softly, and Joe nodded, quickly making his way to the other side of the car. _

_There was silence in the backseat as the car slowly pulled away from the hospital, and Clarisse silently pressed the button that raised the partition between the front and back seats, while still looking down at her shoes. Joseph watched her worriedly for a moment and Clarisse quickly realised that as she looked over at him through her muddled thoughts… at this point in time, he was the only one she could really rely…_

"_It was as if…" she began before stopping, biting her lip hard as she tried to rid her mind of the image she had left behind in the hospital… But she knew that she would never forget it, not matter what she tried… _

"_Oh Joseph…" she tried again before the tears that had been threatening began spilling onto her cheeks. Joseph immediately slid over and wrapped his arms around her as she collapsed onto his chest, sobbing her heart out._

"_It's going to be alright… I'll be with you every step of the way… you're not going to go through this alone…" he kept murmuring into her hair as she cried, and she took some comfort from his words. _

_She had never felt as lost as she did at this moment, and thank goodness Joseph was there as she clung to him like a life raft._

_She didn't realise how long she had been crying but she soon realised that it had been a while as they felt the limousine pull to a stop outside the palace. She looked up at him with a tear stained face, not wanting people to see her like this, and Joe read her thoughts._

"_Steve!" he called into the front seat, opening the partition a little so he could hear him. "Could you do me a favour and drive down to the garage for us?"_

_  
"No worries Joe," came Steve's voice, and Joe quickly pressed the button to divide them again as Clarisse smiled gratefully at him._

"_Thank you," she murmured softly, before looking at him. "Will you keep me company for a little while…? I don't think I could be alone at the moment."_

"_Of course I will… I'm not going to leave when you need me…"_

* * *

The sound of voices distracted her from her thoughts, and she looked up to see Mia's two ladies maids standing awkwardly in the doorway, obviously surprised to see the Queen there. They were just about to turn away before Clarisse stopped them with a pleasant smile, marvelling that she was able to keep her calm equilibrium when her personal life was falling to pieces. It was lucky she was able to do that as the girls suddenly burst into song and there was a loud crash on the windows, as if a bird had crashed into it. She was more than relieved to make her escape, and walk back upstairs to her suite. 

She didn't feel like reading, and she didn't want to go to bed yet… so she sat down on the couch and switched on the radio nearby… There was a song playing that seemed to suit her mood perfectly….

"…_Without you, there'd be no sun in my sky,_

_There would be no love in my life,_

_There'd be no world left for me._

_And I, baby, I don't know what I would do_

_I'd be lost if I lost you_

_If you ever leave_

_Baby, you would take everything real in my life_

_And tell me now_

_00000_

_How do I live without you?_

_I want to know_

_How do I breathe without you?_

_If you ever go_

_How do I ever, ever survive?_

_How do I, how do I_

_Oh, how do I live?"_

At the end of the chorus, the realisation that she would have to live without Joseph, now that she had made the ultimate sacrifice, made her feel even worse as, finally, the tears began to flow in earnest…

She cried quietly into her hands for a long, long time before reaching for a tissue and continuing to cry… her life really was over now, now that she had lost Joseph… How on earth would she be able to make it without him… he was the reason she had maintained a dignified silence about her husband, who had helped her through the pain of Phillipe's death, and even helped her cope with Mia's troubles… now, it was all over….

She finally calmed down enough to realise something else- although she might think it was over, it wasn't… she was going to fight for their relationship as she knew that she couldn't live without him…

She made herself a silent promise- no matter what, she would focus on Mia until she was safely married and on the throne of Genovia, and then she would consider her own life… of which Joseph was a definite and important part….

She was so busy thinking through her tears that she didn't hear her suite door open and someone come in, until there was an embarrassed cough from the doorway, and Clarisse looked up to see Charlotte standing there.

"Oh Charlotte!" she gave a start, and then began wiping her eyes again with a tissue. "I'm sorry… I'm just rather stressed about everything going on… Was there something you wanted to see me about?"

She was aware that she rambling as she looked back at Charlotte with a wan smile, and red eyes, and Charlotte wanted to cry… She had been unfortunate to witness part of the scene between Clarisse and Joe, and now to see her Queen completely and utterly heartbroken…

"Your Majesty," she began quietly, walking over to where Clarisse was staring at her hands, and sat down next to her. "What happened?"

"What do you mean 'what happened?'?" Clarisse looked surprised. "I'm just rather stressed, that's all…" but Charlotte knew she was fibbing.

"No, what happened between you and Joseph?" Charlotte asked in a calm voice, and Clarisse blushed as tears filled her eyes again.

"Nothing… we just had a little argument…" she tried to fob her assistant off, but they both knew that Charlotte saw through it.

"Clarisse…. For a moment, pretend that I'm not your personal assistant, and you're not Queen… you need a friend, and I want to help you… what happened?"

"Joseph asked me to marry him a couple of weeks ago…"

"I knew it!" Charlotte interrupted excitedly, but sobered up when Clarisse gave her a quizzical look. "I'm sorry… go on."

"Tonight was the night I decided to tell him… I couldn't marry him…"

"Why not?" Charlotte asked directly, and Clarisse looked at her in surprise again.

"In case you hadn't noticed, there is a wedding in less than three days, and a coronation in a week," she said heatedly, before softening. "I'm sorry Charlotte, you've been on the receiving end tonight, and you don't deserve it."

"It doesn't matter… but why did you turn him down? Do you love him?"

Both of them were surprised at the audacity of Charlotte's question, but Charlotte wanted to know- she had long suspected it, but she wanted confirmation. However, Clarisse didn't answer, so Charlotte tried again. "Do you love him, Clarisse?"

"Of course I do," Clarisse whimpered in a soft voice as tears began falling again. "I love him more than anything…."

"Do you want to be married to him?"

"Of course…. After Mia's wedding and coronation and it's my only wish now… But I've lost him, Charlotte… you didn't see how hurt he was when he left the ballroom, and he didn't let me explain that I still want to…"

Clarisse explained what had happened- only in the barest of details, but Charlotte soon got the gist of the conversation between them.

"Don't give up on him, Clarisse… he loves you so much, as we both know…"

"But I can't marry him while Mia still needs me… I love him, and surely he realises this!"

"If you'll forgive me for saying this, but maybe it's time you think of yourself before anyone else… even the Princess… She's going to be married in two days, and Queen in less than a week, and then you have the chance to get on with your life… and we both know that it has to involve Joseph…"

Charlotte stopped for a moment, Clarisse listening to every word she was saying, before she decided to say what she had been thinking for the past ten years… ever since she had begun working for the Queen….

"I hope I'm not pushing the boundaries here…."

"No, I'm deeply grateful for your advice," Clarisse smiled fondly at the young woman.

"I've… I've always wanted to tell you this… I find the relationship between the two of you absolutely wonderful, and beautiful… You are clearly mad about him, and he adores you… love like the one you two share only comes around once in a lifetime, and I've been so happy to see the way Joseph takes care of you….

I know the King wasn't all that solicitous of you, and I've been pleased to see that Joe has more than filled the gap with love… He loves you… he's just hurting at the moment, as you are, but surely you know that the two of you are meant to be together?"

"I wish you had told me that a long time ago, Charlotte," Clarisse chuckled weakly through a fresh batch of tears. "I often wondered whether you suspected anything between us."

"I realised it within a few months of being here, Clarisse, and I've enjoyed seeing it blossom even more… But, seriously, don't give up on him…. He may think that it's over, as may you, but it's isn't… But, even if he does, you and I are going to make him come back to his senses!"

Clarisse chuckled at the fierce look of determination on Charlotte's face and had to admit the truth- no matter what either of them thought, it wouldn't be over… she only had to convince Joseph of that… and she hoped that it wasn't too late….


	8. The Wedding

_Author's Note: this is my favourite chapter! Finally got there! I added a little more to the wedding ceremony, but this was wonderful to write!_

_The Princess Diaries doesn't belong to me!_

The next two days were agonisingly painful for Clarisse and Joseph, and for both Charlotte and Scott, who were witnessing their struggles. They both felt helpless at what had happened, but they were both determined to stop them making the same mistake again- they were meant to be together!

The morning after Clarisse's decision had dawned bright, and although Clarisse was still very upset, she was trying to put her heartbreak aside to be there for Mia, and spend some time with her. She was rather surprised, however, when she went to see her granddaughter to find Lily there instead, and Mia appearing as if she had been outside all night. The television broadcast told her what had happened- Mia had spent the night outside on the grounds with young Lord Devereaux!

For a moment, Clarisse was exasperated- couldn't Mia go through one day without a hint of scandal or disaster surrounding her- and she was tempted to tell her off again, very sharply, but when she saw Mia's tears and embarrassment, she found that she couldn't be angry at her. Joseph's words came back to her… they were under a lot of pressure, and it was understandable… she needed to be supportive of Mia…..

The only problem now was… would Andrew still want to marry her after this? He was due to arrive back from England the next morning so, until then, Clarisse knew that all they could do was wait and see….

"How on earth did a photographer get onto palace property?" she asked Charlotte rather irritably as they walked downstairs to her study, Clarisse was more than ready to tear strips off the press.

"I thought that there was a ban on all press being on the grounds unless with permission!"

"I don't know how it happened, Your Majesty," Charlotte said helplessly, feeling guilty. "But I can assure you that I will find out what happened. Clarisse stopped and looked at her gently.

"It wasn't your fault, Charlotte… We'll have to find out what happened… But, I am sorely tempted to ban any press from attending the church wedding…. Yes, I know I can't do that," Clarisse added quickly as Charlotte opened her mouth.

"But this is the last straw, Charlotte… I refuse to let them humiliate my granddaughter any more- she is their future Queen!"

Charlotte was a little scared- she had only seen Clarisse this angry on only a few occasions, but she knew why she was so upset… not only Mia's predicament, but also Joseph as well…

Clarisse stopped for a moment, and looked around the empty hallways- apart from the guards that were standing there 24/7, there was no sign of any of the black suited men who usually followed her every move… or Joseph, she realised with some relief. Charlotte, seeing the puzzled look on her face, was quick to explain.

"The security detail is having a meeting to arrange the final details for the wedding, ma'am."

"That's fine, Charlotte… I will be in my study all day, anyway… I would like you to speak to Joseph and get him to up the security around the palace for the next few days…By the way, is the wedding rehearsal still set for tomorrow evening?"

"Yes… we just have to confirm with the Princess…" she trailed off, embarrassed, when they both realised that until Andrew arrived the next day, it was possible that the wedding was still up in the air.

"It should be all fine," Clarisse said calmly before she walked into her study. "By the way, could you send Mia down here in about half an hour? Also, could you get me the telephone number for the television studio that broadcasts Elsie Kentworthy's show?"

"Yes Ma'am," Charlotte said calmly, a little stunned at how well Clarisse seemed to be coping despite the terrible pressures she was under…

Clarisse smiled ironically as she walked towards her desk- judging by the look on her face, Charlotte may think she was coping, but she was only just managing to keep her head above water…..

000

Joe, meanwhile, was only just managing to pay attention in the meeting- despite his best intentions, he couldn't help but think about Clarisse, and feel concerned about what she must be going through with the latest Mia 'disaster'.

He had a slight inkling that young Lord Nicholas wasn't as involved in this incident, but he needed to check with his sources, hence why he wanted the meeting to end soon.

"Is there still a wedding rehearsal tomorrow afternoon?" one of the younger members inquired, and Scott nodded.

"Yes, and some of us will have to go down to the church to scope out how our plans are going to work."

"I'll be available after lunch today," Joe said quickly as he shut his notepad and stood up from the table, indicating that the others could get up too. "Why don't we meet here at one, and then go from there?"

There was a murmur of agreement from everyone before they scattered, heading back to their positions, leaving Scott and Joe alone in the room.

"So…" Scott began, ready to broach the subject of Clarisse again, but a knock on the door interrupted him as Charlotte poked her head in the room.

"Is it okay if I come in? I need to see Joe for a minute."

"Sure," Scott said, heading towards the door. "I just need to find out where young Lionel has ended up!" he laughed as he left, leaving Charlotte and Joe alone.

"Her Majesty would like you to tighten security around the palace for the next few days, which is understandable after what happened this morning!"

"Perfectly understandable," Joe said calmly, before walking closer to her. "How is she, by the way?"

The question was light, but Charlotte could hear the anxiety and tenderness in his voice… no matter how angry and hurt he was, he still loved her, and that wasn't going to change. She thought for a moment, trying to be diplomatic about what she could say- she wasn't supposed to know what was going on between them.

"She's very angry about what happened this morning… not at Mia, of course, but at the press… She's tired and stressed… I think that, when she's like that, she tends to lash out at all those around her… But this latest incident…"

"I may have some news on that score in half an hour, if you just bear with me…"

"Wouldn't you like to tell Her Majesty yourself?"

"No… unfortunately, I have to go to the church this afternoon, and then I'm at the airport to meet guests… Besides, I think she has a lot on her plate today and tomorrow without me interrupting her…"

Charlotte couldn't miss the bitter tone in his voice, but then he smiled slightly at her.

"But I will make sure you get this before lunchtime!"

He hurried out of the room as Scott came back in, and looked after him before turning to her.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing…" Charlotte trailed off before she suddenly asked: "Do you know what happened last night between… them?"

"Yep," Scott said looking sober as he leaned against the table. "He's really hurt… he thinks it's over… What about her?"

"She's devastated… she wanted to tell him why…"

"He didn't give her the chance, yeah I know… But does she still want to marry him?"

"Of course she does!" Charlotte cried heatedly. "It's just not the right time… I just don't understand why she didn't say yes… they could have had a secret engagement…."

"I think it really hurt Joe that she seems to want to keep it all a secret…"

"She doesn't," Charlotte insisted, and Scott nodded with a grin.

"After the wedding, if they still haven't worked things out, you and I are going to have to work to get them back together… But we don't have long- he's resigning, effective after the coronation…."

"Oh no!" Charlotte cried, before realising something else. "Really? You want to match make to get them back together?"

"Yes… much as I like the princess, their wedding isn't…. anyway, just to get Clarisse and Joe together, and married… now that's a celebration!"

000

By the following afternoon, there was still a wedding, although Andrew hadn't been pleased to see his fiancée with another man- particularly one who was trying to steal the throne. Thankfully, they had worked it out, and they were joking with each other as they walked back down the aisle for the fourth time, ready to practice again. Clarisse, watching the rehearsal from where she would be sitting the following day, smiled as they watched them laugh and tease, but her smile disappeared when she look at Joseph standing at the back of her church, and her heart began to ache again. It was obvious that he was avoiding her, as he had made clear when Charlotte had brought the news that, according to Joseph, Viscount Mabrey had been behind the camera at the lake…

"What on earth can we do?" Clarisse had said as she paced her study, trying to keep calm. She was missing Joseph more than she realised, and the fact that he wasn't delivering the news himself spoke volumes. "I give up! We'll deal with him after the wedding!"

Clarisse sat down and took a deep breath in, aware that she was close to 'losing it'.

Now, watching the wedding rehearsal, she was beginning to feel depressed- it might not be long till it was all over, but then she would have to find a way of making a life outside the palace… and, possibly, without Joseph….

Joe, meanwhile, was watching the rehearsal with some qualms- it seemed that the young couple had smoothed things over, and were ready to go through with it, but he had seen the young woman's face earlier that afternoon, and all he could see was blind terror, and very little happiness that young brides should have. It was as if she had convinced herself that this was the way to go… He knew that Clarisse still had strong reservations about it, but it seemed to him that both Clarisse and Mia were at the mercy of the parliament and the people…..

He glanced away from the giggling couple, surrounded by their party, and looked up at where Clarisse was sitting alone… as he watched her, an almost forced smile on her face, he couldn't help but feel sorry for her, despite his anger and hurt, and he could tell that she was hurting just as much as he was…

Still, another part of him said, she had made the decision and they had to live with it, no matter how wrong it was… However, he knew that it was hard to shut off his feelings for her- they were far too deep to ignore, and he couldn't pretend that he wasn't in love… He was truly, madly, deeply in love with her, and he always would be….

* * *

The next morning dawned bright and clear- a good omen for the wedding- but Clarisse couldn't care less as she sat in the pagoda, the very place where he had proposed, and watched the sun rise higher in the sky. She had been unable to sleep for the past three nights, and she knew why that was- mostly because of Joseph, but also Mia… She liked Andrew very much, but she knew that Mia was being condemned to the same fate she had been when she had married Rupert… She only hoped that she wouldn't end up like her, alone and unhappy…

What on earth was she going to do once she was no longer Queen? She would still be part of the royal court, and have many responsibilities, but it would be all different… She had literally thrown her chance at happiness away, and now she had to live with it… she was still hoping that Joseph would listen to her once everything had settled down, but he hadn't spoken, or come near her, for the past two days, which was not a good sign….

She sighed when she realised that it was time for her to go back to the palace, but Maurice, who had been sitting patiently at her side, only barked joyfully and headed towards the maze. She couldn't help but laugh at him, and followed him slowly, patting him when he stopped.

"_She's getting married today, Maurice," _she said softly, patting his head, before he ran forward again. She stood up to stretch, and her eyes happened to catch a tiny black figure standing on the roof of the palace… she knew who it was, but she averted her eyes quickly and followed Maurice through the maze…

Joseph stood there for a long moment, watching her walk into the maze, Maurice running ahead of her, and wishing that he could walk with her… He missed her dreadfully- they hadn't spoken since that night, and he hadn't realised how much he had relied on being able to talk and laugh with her. Scott was a good friend, but it wasn't the same as Clarisse… he hadn't realised it until now, but besides being the one he loved, she was also his best friend, and now their friendship was gone…

He was still rather angry and hurt about what had happened, but the last few days had tempered his feelings, and he realised that he hadn't been particularly fair on her that night, and she definitely hadn't deserved him walking out on her. He was still intent on retiring after the coronation, but he hoped that, eventually, they might be able to be friends again, although it would be hard to go back to what had been before…

He sighed and glanced at his watch- the sun was already higher than he imagined, and he had to have a final run through with the team before everyone was due to leave for the church at 11:30… He would leave when Clarisse was ready….

0000

Clarisse looked at her reflection in the mirror, satisfied with the work her hairdresser and makeup artist had done, and her specially made designer outfit was lovely- a green/gold type of dress with polka dots, a matching coat and matching shoes. She was pleased with the effect, and she had kept her jewellery to a minimum- one of her favourite necklaces, and a tiny tiara. She glanced at her watch and realised that there was a little time before she had to leave for the church, which allowed her enough time to see Mia. She hadn't seen the wedding dress since the initial fittings and she was looking forward to seeing it.

As had been occurring for the past few days, Joseph wasn't at his normal position near her suite, but she knew that there was a last minute meeting to ensure that everything went smoothly at the wedding… Still she missed him… she had spotted him watching her at the wedding rehearsal, and he had made a movement as if he was going to come up where she was sitting, but she quickly averted her eyes… much as she loved him, and wanted everything to work out, she hadn't been in the mood to see or speak to him just then…

The guards opened the doors to Mia's suite for her, and she stepped through them quickly, and suddenly realised that the suite was oddly silent for a bride to be… Obviously, Helen had already departed for the church, as well as the bridesmaids, but she was rather surprised that Lily wasn't staying to keep Mia company.

Her shoes echoed slightly on the floor as she walked into the room, and found Mia sitting, rather uncomfortably, in one of the chairs in her dressing room. She was looking off into space, but when she saw Clarisse approach, she smiled and stood up quickly.

"Good morning Grandma… you look beautiful in that combination!" she said enthusiastically as she came out of her dressing room and waved them over to the couch. Clarisse blushed slightly at the compliment.

"Never mind me, let me have a good look at the dress… absolutely stunning," she said with a smile as Mia slowly turned on the spot for her, before sitting gingerly down on the couch. "Those designers really did a wonderful job… and, I have to say, Paolo did a splendid job on your hair!"

Clarisse was aware that her compliments sounded rather shallow but, like Mia, she was trying to keep her real feelings away from the surface… rather unsuccessfully, she thought wryly as Mia looked at her, confused.

"Really?" she wrinkled her nose. "We went through three different styles before he finally got it right… and only then because we ran out of time! He could have done it all day!"

Mia was aware that her grandmother wasn't particularly happy on supposedly the happiest of days but, she thought to herself, how could she judge- she was terrified, and she was the one getting married!

"Where is the rest of your bridal party?" Clarisse asked after a pause, looking around the suite.

"Oh, I told them they could go to the church… after all, I won't be that far behind," Mia said with a smile, and then looked down at her hands, which were clasped together within the folds of her skirt.

There was silence for a few minutes as Clarisse watched Mia carefully- despite her own sadness, she could tell that Mia was very nervous about what she was about to do, and she secretly rued the day that someone had made the law where a Queen had to be married before she could rule. Clarisse wanted to tell her granddaughter not to do it, not make the same mistake she had, and follow her heart, but something seemed to be holding her back.

"You're going to be a beautiful bride," Clarisse said awkwardly as Mia smiled at her, and Clarisse couldn't miss the terror that Joe had seen the previous day in her eyes. 'Andrew is a fine young man, and he will be tremendously supportive of you as Queen."

"Yes he will be. I wondered whether he would still marry me after… But he said he would," Mia said as she looked at her hands again. "I knew there was a reason why I chose him- not only is he good looking, but he's a gentleman as well."

Clarisse was struck by the lack of passion or feeling in her voice, and the words she wanted to say were almost on the tip of her tongue, ready to come out, when there was a knock on the door, indicating that it was time for Clarisse to leave.

"I'll see you at the church," Clarisse stood up, Mia following suit, and Mia looked at her.

"I just want to make you and Dad proud…"

Clarisse took her hands in hers and squeezed them tightly, a fond smile on her lips.

"You have always made me proud, no matter what, and I can say that it would be the same for your father…"

Clarisse sighed heavily when she left Mia's suite, and began walking downstairs- she couldn't shake the feeling of unease, but it seemed as Mia was ready… She took a deep breath, trying to forget the terror in Mia's eyes, and emerged from the palace into the bright sunshine. Joseph was waiting beside the car, poised to open the door for her, and Clarisse felt her heart race as she looked at him- he was so handsome in his suit! She half hoped that he would smile at her, but he kept his eyes averted as he opened the door for her.

"Good morning, Your Majesty," was all he said, coolly, before closing the door after she stepped in.

He smiled slightly to himself as he walked to the front of the car, and stepped in- she had looked so beautiful in that outfit… she had shown him a sketch of it a week ago, and he had given it his approval, but he hadn't realised how beautiful she would make it..

He glanced casually in the backseat for a moment, and was surprised to see her biting her lip, and blinking back what was obviously tears… he felt touched and guilty- did his cool greeting really hurt her that much? He wondered whether he should say something before he realised that the partition was going up between them… she didn't want him to see her tears….

* * *

Clarisse was almost on automatic pilot as she greeted guests, Sebastian Motez at her side, inside the church. Joseph was standing nearby, which was driving her to distraction, and she wanted to turn around and speak to him… it also didn't help that most of the guests arriving were people she barely knew, or could only tolerate on special occasions. If she was ever to get married again (and that was a mighty big if, if not never), she would much prefer an intimate ceremony with those closest to her- Mia, Charlotte, the Motezes… Thankfully, the guests were all on time- Viscount Mabrey was one of the first to arrive, smirking nastily at her- and she was more than relieved to be escorted up the aisle by Sebastian, to her place next to Helen… her role was over, for now….

Joseph, meanwhile, watched everything with indifference… except when Viscount Mabrey arrived and smirked knowingly at the Queen… knowing what he knew how, along with history and animosity between them, he was tempted to stand protectively next to the Queen, but he knew: a) it just wasn't done: b) it would give Mabrey further ammunition; and c) he was still trying to fight his feelings for Clarisse… When the double doors closed, he knew that Mia had arrived, and it was almost the moment of truth... he almost jumped when he heard the door open a crack, and Mia's soft voice come through.

"_Hey Joe… I just wanted to say, before I do this, that I'm sorry you're retiring."_

Joe was slightly surprised- he thought that his retirement was still only a matter between himself and Shades.

"_Who told you that?"_ he asked, but he suspected he knew who had told her.

"_The maids know everything,"_ came the sheepish response, and Joe nodded understandingly.

He sensed that there was an unasked question Mia wanted to ask, but was embarrassed to, so he came to the rescue.

"_Well, the heart does things for reasons that reason cannot understand."_

"_You're preaching to the choir," _Mia said sadly before closing the door again, and Joe knew that he had to tell her about Nicholas… just in case… Like Clarisse, he didn't want her to make the biggest mistake of her life.

"_Princess… you should know that Nicholas didn't set you up at the lake."_

"_Are you sure?"_ came Mia's stunned response a moment later, and Joe couldn't help but grin slightly.

"_The maids know everything," _he echoed Mia's very words before Charlotte came over to him, and murmured:

"_We're ready when she is."_

The sound of the choir a few moments later told the congregation that the Princess was about to emerge, and the doors opened dramatically to reveal Mia standing there, smiling nervously. She stood there for a moment before stepping forward as the congregation stood, and Clarisse couldn't help but feel even worse than she had before… Seeing Mia standing there, alone, ready to walk up the aisle, it brought a flashback to her own wedding…

"_You're going to be a wonderful wife to His Highness," her father smiled coolly at her as her veil floated down over her face. Clarisse smiled nervously at him._

"_Thank you, Papa."_

_The doors opened and the entire church seemed to turn as one to see them standing there… For a moment, she felt like fleeing from the scene- she barely knew her 32 year old husband to be after a 4 month engagement, and she didn't feel ready to become a Princess, wife and mother… she was only 18! The congregation seemed to be looking at her curiosity and envy, but she couldn't spy a seemingly friendly face anywhere… Her father patted her hand reassuringly, sensing her fear, and Clarisse felt a little better as she stepped forward with him, knowing that her life, as she knew it, was over…_

Her feeling of apprehension heightened when Mia suddenly froze in the middle of her walk, and Clarisse suddenly realised that Mia couldn't do it… and she knew that she didn't want her to do it. Despite her reassurances that she only needed 'a moment', a clearly panic-stricken Mia gathered her skirts and ran out of the church, leaving everyone buzzing- was this another Mia antic for attention? Clarisse ignored the cries and stares around her as she hastened her way out of the church… she wanted to find her granddaughter….

"_Oh my dear… Mia!" _she cried sympathetically when she found Mia in a nearby alcove, crouched on the ground and almost hyperventilating. Mia quickly stood up, ready to reassure her grandmother, but Clarisse knew that she couldn't let Mia go through it.

"_I can't do it!" _Mia cried in despair, panic in her voice as they stood away from prying eyes.

"_I know," _Clarisse said calmly, realising that it was time to give her the advice she had wanted to earlier, advice that she had ignored and cost her dearly.

"_Darling, listen to me. I made my choice- duty to my country, over love. It's what I've always done, it seems. It's been drummed into me my entire life. Now… I've lost the only man I ever really loved."_

Mia, sensing the connection between Joe and Clarisse hadn't been her imagination, looked past her and Clarisse turned to see Joseph standing a discreet distance away… and, even then, Clarisse couldn't help but know she had been a fool to turn him down. Joe was looking straight ahead at the crowds, but he knew they were both looking at him, and he suddenly wondered if Clarisse had told Mia about them… before a voice on his headpiece brought him back from his thoughts.

Clarisse turned back to look at Mia with a warm smile, suddenly feeling much better about everything.

"_Mia, I want you to make your choices…as a woman. Don't make the same mistakes as I did- make your own mistakes, there will plenty of them, believe me. Now, you can go back into the church and get married, or you can walk away… Whatever choice you make, let it come from your heart."_

As she was speaking, Clarisse was aware that she was not only giving the advice to Mia, but to herself… She had used her head when she had given Joseph his answer, and didn't listen to her heart, which had been telling her to say yes… Mia obviously weighed it up for a moment before hugging her grandmother tightly, and walking calmly back into the church.

Clarisse followed at a sedate pace, brushing past Joseph without a word, but she wanted to know what Mia was going to do… She was scared when she saw Mia up at the altar with Andrew but, a few moments later, she proved everyone wrong by shirking the expectations forced upon her, and standing up for herself, which was made even easier when Nicholas burst in and declined the throne, much to his uncle's rage… It was what Phillipe would have done… Maybe, Clarisse mused, it was time she did the same…

Clarisse smiled proudly at her granddaughter, relieved that she didn't have to get married, and it seemed that the throne was secure… It was painful to stand near Joseph, but when she glanced quickly in his direction, she knew that he was relieved with Mia's decision… and probably wondering what Clarisse had said to him. She gave a start when Charlotte leaned over to her, her earpiece in her hand.

_  
"Grandma? Just because I didn't get my fairytale ending doesn't mean you shouldn't."_

For a moment, after Mia's wise words, Clarisse was stunned and didn't know what she was going to do. She looked at Charlotte for advice.

"_Did you hear that?"_ but Charlotte only looked away, a smile belying her reply.

"_Not if you didn't want me to…"_ and Clarisse only laughed at her response- she was such a loyal girl…

She took a deep breath, her choice now clear… she had just told Mia to follow her heart, and now it was finally time to follow hers, no matter what… She smoothed her dress down, wanting to look perfect, and smiled- she had been ready to do this for so long, and it was time, as she stepped towards Joseph, a radiant smile on her lips. She was well aware that every eye in the church was fixed on her, but she didn't care… it was time to propose to the man she loved…

"_Joseph?" _She said in a loud, clear voice, and he stood in front of her.

"_Your Majesty?"_ he bowed to her before looking up, ready to take orders, but the look in her eyes was something else altogether, and Clarisse again realised how much she loved him.

"_Dear Joseph," _she began, emphasising the 'dear' as she smiled radiantly at him, and hope began welling deep inside him. _"Am I too late to ask you… to accept my hand in marriage?"_

She was choking up with tears- this was the most emotional moment of her life, but she had never been surer of anything… she only hoped he wouldn't turn her down!

Joseph watched her for a moment, wondering if it was a joke, but all he saw and felt was love radiating from every inch of her, and he could sense that she was wearing her heart on her sleeve for him… it was the moment he had dreamed about for so long, and had finally arrived! She loved him, and wanted to marry him!

"_I thought you'd never ask," _he said gruffly, happiness welling up inside like a bubble- all the pain and anger was gone- she had brought their relationship out into the open, and she clearly wanted to be with him… He had never doubted it- it was just that his ego, he thought sheepishly, that had got in the way for a day or so…

Clarisse beamed around her as Joseph turned to Shades, who was grinning at him, to hand him his hat and earpiece. He couldn't remember precisely what he said, but he ended with:

"…_I'm going to a wedding…" _he trailed off as he looked at Clarisse, who was smiling adoringly at him, and he knew that this was the happiest moment of his life.

He was vaguely aware of Viscount Mabrey banging on the door, wanting to be let back in, but everyone ignored him as Charlotte handed Clarisse Mia's bouquet.

Although they originally began with her arm on top of his, Joseph couldn't resist pulling her close as they slowly made their way up the aisle. The wedding guests were clearly astonished, but were smiling- they had come to see their Princess get married, but were instead seeing their Queen marry her loyal bodyguard.

"_I know it's short notice, but you were all dressed!" _she joked, for once free of the reserve that kept her emotions in check. She was feeling far happier and freer than she had felt in a long time, and it was because of the man at her side, and the relationship that was about to become official.

She didn't care that there were a few disapproving stares- possibly from Viscount Mabrey's cronies- but she was so happy, she could almost float away if she wasn't holding tightly onto Joseph's steady arm…

Joe, for his part, was still rather stunned- Clarisse had openly proposed in front of a church full of wedding guests, and had no qualms in showing her love for him. He could feel her shaking slightly as they reached the altar, and he squeezed her hand for a moment, just to reassure her that they were now in this together!

When they reached the altar, Mia and Sebastian took their places on either side of them as their witnesses, and she smiled at the Archbishop as she said the words she had uttered over forty years previously, but she was well aware of what she was saying….

"_My Lord Archbishop… I would like to take this man as my husband, if you please."_

She was surprised to hear how calm she sounded, but both of them were even more surprised by the Archbishop's reaction. He glanced skyward for a moment, breathing out, and beaming at them.

"_Finally!" _but he said it so quietly that only they heard him. They were startled enough to exchange a glance- how on earth had he known about them- before he brought their attention back with: _"We have come together for a different wedding…"_

_00000_

The actual wedding ceremony was a blur- they were focusing on the Archbishop's words but, as far as they were concerned, they were the only ones there, and there weren't 200 pairs of eyes witnessing their marriage. After waiting so long, and pretending that they weren't romantically interested in each other, it was still a shock to believe that they were getting married. When they came to the vows, Clarisse again surprised herself by giving a loud _"I do",_ while Joseph was rather quieter, but unable to keep his eyes off her.

There was a special significance to the vows for them- Joseph because he had never been married before, and Clarisse, who barely remembered her first vows, because this wedding meant more to her than anything… this marriage would be so different, and she would remember this moment for the rest of her life.

When they came to the rings, Clarisse wondered what they were going to do, but Sebastian calmly handed Joe one of the ones from the previous wedding (unused) and Clarisse, hands shaking even more, struggled to get her left hand glove off quickly… She couldn't understand why she was so nervous and shaking- Joseph was as cool as a cucumber! He smiled- she was obviously very emotional, and he found it very endearing, and he loved her more for the fact that her emotions were betraying her…

"_With this ring, I thee… finally… wed," _Joe said, grinning slightly at the Archbishop, as he slid the ring onto Clarisse's finger. Clarisse was about to take her hand away, but Sebastian was holding the other ring out to her, and she looked at it and then at Joseph, who only smiled. She carefully took it in her fingers and, repeating the same as Joseph had, slipped it on his hand… before they piled their hands together still staring at each other with blissful happiness.

"_I now pronounce you man and wife…" _the Archbishop said proudly, and Clarisse almost cried out with joy but, rather, let her breath out happily as Joe grinned proudly at her.

_"… You may kiss the bride."_

Joe was rather shy and hesitant- she may now have been his wife, but she was still Queen of Genovia, and he was well aware of everyone watching them… However, Clarisse had no qualms whatsoever as she leaned over and kissed him softly… as she did so, Mia gave a loud shout of triumph.

When they broke apart, Joe smiled lovingly at his bride (his bride!) and they gazed happily at each other for several seconds, still holding both hands, but soon became aware of the fact that everyone was giving them a round of applause… They turned to smile at everyone- Clarisse literally glowing with radiant happiness and Joe, holding her hand, was rather less inclined to show his emotion, but he was very, very, very happy… they were finally married, and under circumstances he had never imagined!


	9. We Just Got Married'

_Author's note: Phew! I wasn't sure how this chapter would go- whether it would collapse on me before I managed to finish it, but I have finished it! I just wanted to imagine what the wedding reception would have been like… still a little more to come!_

_The song lyrics come from 'Because You Loved Me' by Celine Dion_

_The Princess Diaries doesn't belong to me at all._

Clarisse and Joseph stood there for a moment longer, basking in the obvious approval from the congregation, as Charlotte and Scott, from the back of the church, grinned at each other. Clarisse glanced over at Joseph for a moment, and smiled lovingly at his expression- obviously wasn't used to all the attention, but she knew that he deserved it all. Just then, the Archbishop stepped from behind them and, standing next to Joseph, said in a loud voice:  
"Ladies and gentlemen, it is my very great pleasure to present Mr and Mrs Joseph Bonnell!"

Mia beamed happily from Clarisse's other side- she had had no idea about the secret romance between her grandmother and her Head of Security, but she had no qualms in showing her obvious delight and approval about their marriage… Joseph was one of the best men she knew, and he obviously adored Clarisse. The wonderful thing was, she thought to herself as she watched Clarisse sneak another slightly shy look at Joseph, was that he made her grandmother less remote and distant… she really was a woman in love.

"Why didn't he use your title? 'Her Majesty' and Mr…'"Joe murmured as Clarisse moved closer to him to slip her arm through his, and she beamed over at him, more in love than ever.

"Why should he?" she queried gently, wanting to add 'darling', but she didn't want her first term of endearment to her husband to be said in front of the entire country…

"I'm actually glad he didn't, otherwise I wouldn't have acknowledged it… this is not my moment, this is _**our**_ moment!"

Joe chuckled softly at her firm tone- it was clear that this was their first real moment as husband and wife, and he was looking forward to more 'firsts' that they would enjoy together.

After another brief pause, they slowly walked down the two steps that led up to the altar, and began to make their way down the aisle. While Clarisse was still overcome with some nerves and emotion (quite unlike her usual cool self, she thought with a grin), she knew that she would never forget how happy she was at this moment and Joseph, on the other hand, thought he would burst with pride having Clarisse on his arm- he had always wanted it to happen, and now that it had, he couldn't believe it…

Charlotte and Shades were standing on one side of the exit, watching the newlyweds walk down the aisle.

"They look very happy together," Shades said quietly, aware of how dry and understated it seemed, but Charlotte nodded in agreement as she dabbed delicately at her eyes with a handkerchief.

"They do… they look wonderful together. Now, we don't have to worry about trying to get them back together!" she turned to him with a smile.

"No, although I did have some plans," Scott said with a mock disgusted look. "But I knew that, somehow, they would find their way back to each other again… Just looking at them you can see that there's so much history between them."

They stopped talking as Joe and Clarisse walked past them, still smiling at each other, before they turned to look at the two people who knew more about their story than anyone else, and smiled radiantly at them before walking out the door….

"Wow," Scott murmured softly as Charlotte was struck by another fresh set of tears. "I never realised how deeply in love they really were until now…."

0000

Stepping into the cool hallway of the church, Clarisse suddenly felt inexplicably shy towards the man she just married, and she marvelled at the gamut of emotions she had experienced in the past few hours- depression, when she woke up that morning; apprehension for Mia; relief that she finally told her granddaughter to follow her heart, and then followed her own; boldly proposing to Joseph; tears and nerves when they wed; pure joy when they were declared married; and now, shyness…

She had never really experienced so many emotions within such a short amount of time, but she was glad that she had but now, to feel shy… it was ridiculous, she told herself, to be shy around someone she had known and loved for so long… perhaps, she surmised as she removed her other glove, and looked around the hallway, it was because that there were no longer any barriers between them…

Joe smiled tenderly as he watched her struggle with her glove, and look around, not meeting his eyes- she was feeling shy around him, he could tell, and he found it cute… she had just done something incredibly impulsive, openly declared her affection for him, and let her guard down in front of a church full of people… It was understandable at how she was feeling, and he was surprised that he seemed to be calm, but he also felt a little stunned…

He was about to wrap his arms around her to reassure her when Mia and Sebastian, followed by the Archbishop, came through the doors, and Joe was contented to hold her hand again, and she gave him a smile, knowing what he had wanted to do.

"Grandma, you are so full of surprises!" Mia said with a wide grin as she hugged Clarisse tightly. "I never thought you would use my wedding to your advantage… but I'm so happy for you!"

"Thank you," Clarisse said quietly, smiling rather dazedly at her, and Mia only laughed before turning to Joseph.

"And Joe… gosh, you and Grandma can really keep a secret, can't you?" she teased, and Joe only laughed modestly. "But…I am so happy for both of you…" she threw her arms around him impulsively, making Joe feel warm.

"And I know you can make her happy," she whispered into his ear before pulling away, and surveying them with a warm smile. The Archbishop, who had been watching the scene with a smile, stepped forward.

"If I could have the bride and groom, as well as their witnesses, follow me, I can have your marriage certificate ready in a little while!"

"Oh… but… what about…?" Clarisse stuttered, coming out of her happy fog for a moment to look worriedly at him, and the Archbishop turned around and smiled warmly at Clarisse.

"You **are **Queen of Genovia, and some rules are meant to be bent for the Queen- particularly when the reason for the rule bending is as good as the one I've just witnessed!"

Sebastian and Mia followed him, chatting easily, while Clarisse and Joe followed more slowly. Before they stepped into the office, she gave him a shy, yet glowing smile, her knees weakening at the sight of the same expression of love in his eyes, and Joe only squeezed her hand tightly in reassurance…

There were two comfortable chairs in front of the desk, and Joseph waited until Clarisse was seated before moving his chair slightly closer and sitting down next to her.

"This shouldn't take too long… I just need to make two copies of the original certificate- one for me and one for the registry," the Archbishop said as he retrieved what he was looking for and reached for his fountain pen. "Most of the details I already know about both of you- but I just want confirmation of full names and previous marital status."

"Joseph Peter Bonnell, bachelor," Joe said clearly as the Archbishop wrote quickly, before looking expectantly at Clarisse.

"Clarisse Elizabeth Renaldi, widow," Clarisse said softly as she looked down at her ungloved hands for a moment.

"I won't embarrass you by asking for your ages…" he was almost talking to himself as he continued writing, and Clarisse smiled as she heard Mia giggle in the background.

There was a slightly awkward silence in the room for a time as the Archbishop completed the necessary paperwork needed, before looking at the silent couple.

"Now, if I could have the bride and groom move a little closer, and Her Highness and His Excellency where they can see…"

Clarisse and Joseph looked at each other happily- 'bride and groom' sounded strange, but it was true… they were the bride and groom.

"I need you to sign all three of these," the Archbishop interrupted their moment with a smile as he offered the pen to Joseph. "The original copy is for you, and the other two are mere paperwork…"

Joe signed where he was shown, almost giddy with delight, before handing the pen to Clarisse who was overcome with emotions for a moment, before signing her name happily. The pen was passed to both Mia and Sebastian, and there was a moment's pause before he stood and beamed at the couple, now holding hands, and Sebastian and Mia grinning in the background.

"It is my honour to present you with your marriage certificate and say that you are now legally married," he beamed as he handed it to Joseph, and Clarisse leaned over to look at it.

"Now, if you would excuse us, Your Highness and Your Excellency, I would like to have a few moments alone with the newlyweds."

He waited until the other two had left before sitting down and smiling at the still clearly stunned couple sitting in front of them. Clarisse looked at him slightly nervously, and he couldn't help but laugh before speaking.

"This isn't an official talk of any kind… I just wanted to talk to you both as James, your friend…. Joe, I know you're dying to ask me why I said finally up at the altar, aren't you?"

"Yes, although I suspect I know why…"

"The reason I did was because I, as well as a lot of other people, am finally relieved that you two have finally managed to make your relationship official. Love is never meant to be kept a secret as long as you two have, and I'm glad that it's out in the open now… Actually," he said thoughtfully, reminded of something he had seen the previous afternoon. "I wanted to ask you something- yesterday, at the rehearsal, it seemed to me that you were avoiding each other like the plague… what happened?"

"Well," Clarisse began, looking at James as she took Joseph's hand in hers. "Joseph had proposed a few weeks ago, and I had made a decision which turned our lives upside down… I didn't tell him in so many words, but I had to turn him down… not permanently," she added hastily as she looked at Joseph.

"It was only until the coronation… if all of this hadn't been squashed into a month, I would have married you in a second," she said softly, looking at him and Joseph only smiled as they shared another moment, in a world of their own.

James smiled as he watched them- if they thought they had been discreet, they had been seriously deluded- anyone who came near them just had to witness one look or smile exchanged to see how much in love they were.

"Why couldn't you marry him?" he asked, puzzled, and Clarisse shrugged as she looked back at him.

"For reasons my head told me to say, but my heart didn't agree with at all… the last two days have been absolute torture, and I can't remember why I didn't say yes in the first place!"

"Well, I'm glad that you took the initiative and decided to throw caution to the wind," he joked as Joseph joined in the laughter, and Clarisse reddened. "I just never thought I would see you do it, Clarisse!"

"Actually," Clarisse admitted with a chuckle. "I had been severely tempted all morning to do just that, but I might not have had the courage if Mia hadn't given me a nudge in the right direction… and I'm glad that she did," she beamed over at Joseph again, who lifted her hand to his lips. "I was just worried about everyone else… which I shouldn't have been, as they really won't matter in a week…"

"You'd be surprised at how many people do approve of your relationship- not only in the palace, either… Viscount Mabrey and his cronies are in a distinct minority."

"It didn't matter to me if no one had approved- I was only concerned with what Clarisse wanted," Joseph said calmly, and Clarisse smiled lovingly over at him. "All I wanted was to marry her and make her happy."

"You know, I was very fond of Rupert, but I could tell that Clarisse and Rupert were a mismatch almost from the beginning… But this, this is very different… I've never seen a couple quite as connected as you two are, and it's in thanks to the fact that you were friends for a very long time, and know each other so well… I'm glad you've ended up together…

Joseph, you've always been a good guy, and you have always been so solicitous of Clarisse, and never taking your eyes off her whenever she was out in public… You don't think I saw, but I saw more than you realised…Clarisse, you and I go back a long way… We went to school together," he explained to Joseph.

"Anyway, I've never seen you as happy or radiant as when you're around him… you've always been reserved, understandable in this profession, but he's opened you up and made you laugh again… I know the Princess has done her part," he added hastily, seeing Joseph look embarrassed. "But you've been there for her through some very difficult times in her life and I, as her friend, will always be grateful for your constant support of her…

Now, before I let you go face the crowds, I just want to tell you something- love like yours only comes once in a lifetime, and you both had endured more heartache than I care to remember… this is your time now, and you deserve all the happiness in the world…In fact, I know you will…"

"Thank you," both Clarisse and Joe murmured as James smiled indulgently at them.

00000

"Charlotte! What are you still doing here?" Clarisse asked at the same time as Joe said

"Shades! I thought you were supposed to be guarding the Princess!" as they emerged from James' office to find Charlotte and Scott waiting patiently for them.

"The Princess told me to stay here while she and Andrew organised a 'few things' back at the palace… and no, it's not serious," she added hastily as Clarisse looked slightly stupefied.

"Actually, I was waiting here to see what was going to happen with the car," Shades added quickly. "I wasn't sure whether you wanted to go out the front, or slip out a side exit instead?"

Clarisse looked surprised- she hadn't realised that there would be a lot of people still waiting outside to see the new set of newlyweds, she thought coyly… but she was torn- although she didn't want to let them down, this was such a private matter, and she didn't want to be on show anymore… And Joseph hadn't had to endure the intensity of the spotlight before… she turned to look at him thoughtfully as Charlotte and Shades moved a discreet distance away.

"What do you want to do?" she asked in a low voice, and Joseph only shrugged as he caressed one of her hands.

"I don't mind… whatever you want to do is fine with me," he said softly, and she smiled.

"That really helps… no, I don't want to share our special moments with the rest of the world- I did that the first time, and I didn't like it at all… and I know that you aren't used to all of this nonsense…."

"But you are their Queen, and they will want to have a chance to share in your happiness… if what James said is true, they will definitely want to celebrate!"

"_Our_ happiness," Clarisse corrected him with a cheeky smile.

"Fine, our happiness… Besides, I'm sure that most of the congregation have already let them know what happened in there anyway, and it might look as though we're hiding…"

"Which we are not!" Clarisse said tartly- she had enough of hiding her strong and deep love for the man standing opposite her. "But what about you... you've always been such a private man, and I don't want to expose you to heckling…"

"Clarisse, I can handle all of that," he moved closer to her, and took both her hands in his. "I love to know that you're so protective of me, but now it's my turn to protect you, and I don't want to do anything you don't feel comfortable with… But we may get left alone if you give the press the opportunity now…"

"Alright," she smiled, relieved that he was happy to walk out the front way. It was going to be one of her final public appearances, but she was definite about one thing- their relationship may have been a source of speculation for many years, but she knew that their marriage wasn't going to be speculated upon… they had formed their friendship out of the public eye, they had fallen in love in private, and their marriage was going to blossom outside the public. Of that she was certain.

"Scott, can you please have the car sent around to the front?" she smiled at the young man next to Charlotte, and they both disappeared.

They walked quietly through the hallway, hand in hand, and Clarisse smiled as the noise from outside got louder and louder as they approached the main doorway. She turned to look at Joseph once as they prepared to walk outside.

"You can change your mind, you know… we don't have to do this…"

"It is going to be an honour to escort my wife (who also happens to be Queen) out of the church… so no, you're not getting out of it that easily!" he teased and she chuckled as she looped her arm through his and the doors slowly opened….

The noise was deafening as they stepped out into the brilliant sunshine, and Joseph was more than a little blown away by the number of people that were standing there, as well as the photographers and journalists! He glanced over at Clarisse and grinned- she was smiling radiantly to the crowd, and waving happily… she was such a pro at all of this!

After a few more moments of allowing the people to call out at them, Joseph escorted Clarisse down to the waiting car, opened the door for her as she stepped in, and was ready to walk around to the other side when, to his surprise, she slid over to allow him to follow her into the car.

"I thought Queens were never meant to slide!" he murmured as Scott shut the door after him, and Clarisse smiled enigmatically at him.

"Only on special occasions!" she said before turning back to the window and waving for a little longer as the car pulled away from the church, before sitting back in her seat with a sigh.

"Wow… I never realised what you and Mia have to put up with all the time until now!"

"You're going to have to get used to it now, aren't you?" Clarisse said teasingly as she beamed over at him, and his hand shyly crept over the car upholstery to take her hand in his as a peaceful, but slightly awkward silence fell on them, as they suddenly realised what they had just done… they had just got married!

It was a quiet trip back to the palace, and they were relieved to see, as the car pulled up in front of the entrance of the palace, that none of the wedding guests had arrived yet.

"So… what are we going to do now?" Joe looked over at Clarisse with a smile, and she smiled as she moved closer to him.

"We can always go for a walk in the garden… and then hide when everyone comes!" she said pertly, before jumping as someone rapped sharply on Joseph's window. "What the…?"

Joseph couldn't help but laugh at her reaction as he pressed a button on the door, and the window buzzed down to reveal Mia standing there, still in her dress, grinning at them

"Did I scare you Grandma? Were you two doing something in there?" she teased, and Clarisse blushed deeply.

"No, you cheeky girl… you just startled me, that's all…"

"I just wanted to let you know that Andrew and I have a surprise for you. We thought that you need to have your own wedding album, so Andrew would like to take some photographs…" she trailed off with a slightly embarrassed smile, and Clarisse laughed happily as her eyes filled with tears. She knew that she wouldn't forget a second of the day, but it would be wonderful to have a photographic record.

"That's a wonderful idea, darling… don't you think so, Joseph?" she looked over at him, who only nodded, slightly abashedly.

"Great… well, Andrew thought that we could do it in the garden… after, of course, getting one of you getting out of the car…"  
"Good idea… but Joseph and I need to make a stop before we go to the garden, if that's alright?"

"That's fine… Andrew and I need to get changed anyway," she laughed as she waved at her wedding dress.

"So, why do we have a stop to make?" he inquired as he helped her out of the car, Andrew capturing the moment, before discreetly disappearing, and she gave him a mysterious smile.

"You will just have to wait and see…"

000

Clarisse's study was as neat and tidy as she had left it earlier, and she found it amusing that, despite the fact she had been under a great deal of pressure, as well as being depressed, that she made sure that her desk was tidy and paper free, except for a plain, cream coloured envelope sitting in the middle of the desk. She picked it up carefully, and turned to hand it to Joseph, who had followed her over to the desk.

"What's this?" he asked curiously as he accepted the envelope, and she smiled a little sadly at him.

"This was what I meant to say to you that night… I didn't expect our meeting to go well, but I wanted to make sure that you knew why I decided like that, even if it was in the form of a letter."

""What does it say?" he was still looking at the envelope in his hands, but he made no move to open it as he looked over at Clarisse, who was leaning slightly on the edge of her desk.

"It said… it was the hardest letter that I ever had to write, about the hardest decision I had ever made… It took two solid weeks to come to it, and the fact that we kept remembering instances together made me realise that we have a history together, but Mia needed me… I think it also said that you were the love of my life, and I would marry you eventually, as long as you didn't give up on us… and that I loved you…" she recited it almost from memory- the contents was burned into her memory forever.

"I see…" Joe said thoughtfully, looking at her intensely for a moment before looking at the envelope and, to her astonishment, he tore it in half and tossed the pieces away.

"Didn't you want to see what I wrote?" she looked at him curiously.

"You just told me what I needed to hear… besides, it doesn't matter anymore, does it?" he smiled gently at her, and her reserve suddenly deserted her as all she could think of doing was racing into his arms and burying her face into his jacket.

"Joseph… I missed you so… I wish I hadn't made that mistake before… I thought I had lost you forever…" her muffled voice came from the lapel of his jacket and he smiled tenderly as he lifted her face to look at his, touched to see two tiny tears running down her cheeks, and cupped it in his hands.

"You wouldn't have lost me forever Clarisse… I may have been angry at the time, and gave Shades my resignation…"

"What?" she looked shocked but he stopped her from continuing.

"But he probably wouldn't have let me quit… I couldn't even begin to imagine my life without you being in it, in some way… I probably would have tried to win you back…"

"You never had to win me back, darling," Clarisse murmured softly into his face, a shiver of happiness running down her spine at calling him darling. "You had won me a long time ago…"

He smiled at her happily, more in love than ever, before pulling her close and kissing her as he had been longing to do since they left the church, but hadn't managed to pluck up the courage, until now… But it was magical, as it always had been between them, but there was something more now… the passion they had pretended didn't exist was now close to the surface…

"Wow… I didn't realise how much I missed you kissing me until now…" Clarisse pulled away for a moment, her cheeks flushing and her eyes sparkling as she laughed at him. "I suppose the old adage is true: 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'!"

"You don't feel quite so shy around me now do you, my love?" he teased as he stroked her face with one hand, loving the fact he could call her that, and she blushed even more.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been shy around you, but this has just been something I wished could happen, and I never thought it would… But…."

"I do understand- you've done a few things today that are completely the opposite of what you would normally do… but I love you for doing them, as I know that you did them for us… and Mia…"

"I love you too," she murmured softly before he pulled her close and kissed her again. They only broke apart when there was a discreet knock on the door, and one door opened as Mia peeked in.

"Are you guys ready to have some photos taken?"

"Definitely," Joe said firmly after exchanging a warm look with Clarisse, and they walked towards the door, hand in hand.

0000

It only seemed like moments before they were standing in front of the closed doors to the ballroom, ready to make their first entrance as husband and wife. Clarisse was more than ready to do it, but she couldn't believe how quickly the day had disappeared since the wedding earlier in the afternoon.

The afternoon itself had seemed to fly by… Andrew had taken quite a few photos out in the garden- Clarisse had been initially shy at the thought of photos, but Mia's presence, as well as Joseph's arm around her waist, had made her feel better and she soon found how much she enjoyed it. Although she had had plenty of photographs taken over the years, she much preferred the casual atmosphere in the garden, Mia the only observer, and she was surprised when Andrew began packing his equipment away.

"Is that it?" she asked in surprise, and both Andrew and Mia grinned as Joseph chuckled into her ear.

"Yes, Your Majesty… I will be taking a few more at the reception, but there was one more I would like, if you would be willing…" he got embarrassed, and Joseph realised he wanted a special picture of them kissing, and he knew, glancing at Clarisse, that she had realised the same.

"Do you…?" he began softly, knowing how shy she was about showing her real feelings, but she beamed tenderly at him.

"Of course I could… it's for you…" she trailed off with a dreamy smile.

"For us," Joseph corrected with a smile as he leant over and kissed her softly and tenderly on the mouth. They only broke apart when they heard Mia cry out:

"Perfect!"

"You should be a photographer's assistant!" Joseph joked and Mia laughed.

"Yes… oops, I think I can hear cars coming up the driveway… and, before you ask, no you don't have to be there to greet them, Grandma… you will see them all later, so just leave it to Andrew and me! Besides, I don't think it will be all that long before Charlotte comes to find you!"

"Oh and Mia… could you do something for me?" Clarisse asked they began to walk away, and as she whispered something into Mia's ear, Joseph was curious to see Mia's face light up happily.

000

True enough, Joseph and Clarisse wandered through the garden for less than an hour before Charlotte found them, and now they found themselves standing outside the ballroom doors. Clarisse trembled slightly at the thought of all those eyes on them, and Joe's hand squeezed hers tightly.

"Are you nervous about going in there?" he asked softly and she turned to him, relieved that he knew what she was feeling.

"A little… I never thought I would do this with you…"

"We can do this… I'm just so proud to be able to walk into the ballroom with the most beautiful woman in Genovia on my arm, who also happens to be my wife…" he leant over and kissed her softly on the cheek, and she smiled at him.

"I knew there was a reason why I married you!" she teased softly before a loud thump on the floor told them that their announcement was about to be made.

"Presenting… Mr and Mrs Joseph Bonnell!" came the voice from inside, and Joseph looked at Clarisse in astonishment.

"Why…?" he knew why, but he somehow still felt, deep down, that he didn't deserve this, or the fact that Clarisse was looking at him with such open adoration.

"Today is our day, darling, and I don't want to hear my title at all… I am much happier being Mrs Joseph Bonnell, a title that means more to me than anything…" she said as she squeezed his hand in return. "Today is the happiest day in my life, and it belongs to both of us!"

"Alright… let's go," he squeezed her hand tightly as, her arm looped through his, they walked in through the open double doors and, to their amazement, they had another standing ovation.

"I feel like a celebrity at an awards ceremony!" Joe muttered under his breath so that only Clarisse heard him, and she laughed, giving him a look that told the assembled guests that the Queen was very much in love with her former Head of Security, who was now her husband.

"This is only the beginning," she teased as he helped her into her seat, next to Mia, before sitting down on her other side, Sebastian on his other side, before everyone else sat down as well.

"I wonder whether if they would have given Andrew and I a standing ovation if we had been the ones to get married," Mia said thoughtfully as she sipped her champagne, and gave her grandmother a knowing look.

"I'm sure they would have," Clarisse said calmly, and Mia only laughed.

"I don't think so, Grandma… I think if they had been given the chance, they would have declared today a national holiday!"  
"Now you're the one being silly!" Clarisse laughed in return.

After the meal, Clarisse wondered who would be giving a speech but, before Sebastian had the chance to stand up, Mia had stood up quickly and tapped her glass lightly, silencing the room in an instant, telling Clarisse that Mia was going to be a fine Queen.

"_I know it's not the norm for a member of the royal family to give an unrehearsed speech, but since I love both the bride and groom very much, I think I am entitled to give a speech._

_Now, I know that most of you would probably have known about this 'secret relationship' for a lot longer than I- I only found out about it this afternoon- but I'm sure that we all agree that it was about time that it finally came out into the open!"  
_Here, she threw a teasing look at Clarisse and Joseph who only laughed, and Clarisse clutched Joseph's hand tightly.

"_I never realised how much history and love is between this pair here, but just seeing them look at each other tells me everything I need to know. Love is a gift, and I now realise, after seeing a couple that have had more than their fair share of stumbles on the road to love, that whenever love falls into your lap, you're to grab it with both hands and let it go. I know that, for sure, Grandma and Joe, now that they've finally made it to this moment in their lives, won't ever let it go. Joe, you're the best man I know, and I know that you will make my grandmother very happy while Grandma… all I can say is that you two sure know how to keep a secret!_

_I just want to wish them all the luck in the world for their marriage (although I don't think they're going to need it!), and I hope that I may be fortunate to witness some of the moments that you have been all so lucky to see… to the bride and groom- Clarisse and Joseph!"_

_  
_She raised her champagne glass to the couple, followed by everyone else, and Clarisse had to dab at her eyes discreet with a napkin before smiling radiantly around at everyone. She was going to speak to Mia about the speech, and how much she loved it, but Sebastian stood up just a few moments after Mia, so she had to wait until his speech was over.

"So, did you like the speech?" Mia leant over and asked Clarisse cheekily as everyone began talking again, and Clarisse only squeezed her hand.

"Yes, I loved it… thank you so much for it…." She was about to say more, but then the DJ that Mia had insisted on hiring suddenly stepped to the microphone.

"Now that the speeches are all over, I would like to ask the newlyweds to come out onto the dance floor for their first dance as husband and wife!"

The entire room turned to look at Clarisse and Joe who were, for a moment, frozen in their chairs, before Joe stood up and beamed down at his wife.

"Could I have this dance?" he asked in a soft tone, and she only nodded silently as she put her hand in his and he led her out onto the dance floor. Joseph had had no idea what song would be playing as they waited for a moment, but he looked curiously at Clarisse- she didn't seem to be worried or curious at all, and he began to suspect what she had murmured into Mia's ear earlier in the garden.

"What surprise are you about to spring on me?" he murmured as the song started, and Clarisse only smiled as they began to dance.

"What makes you think I had something to do with this?" she looked at him innocently, but he only laughed.

"_For all those times you stood by me_

_For all the truth that you made me see_

_For all the joy you brought to my life_

_For all the wrong that you made right_

_For every dream you made come true_

_For all the love I found in you_

_I'll be forever thankful, baby_

_You're the one who held me up_

_Never let me fall_

_You're the one who saw me through, through it all…_

_0_

_You were my strength when I was weak_

_You were my voice when I couldn't speak_

_You were my eyes when I couldn't see_

_You saw the best there was in me_

_Lifted me up when I couldn't reach_

_You gave me faith 'cos you believed_

_I'm everything I am_

_Because you loved me_

_0_

_You gave me wings and made me fly_

_You touched my hand, I could touch the sky_

_I lost my faith, you gave it back to me_

_You said no star was out of reach _

_You stood by me and I stood tall_

_I had your love, I had it all_

_I'm grateful for each day you gave me_

_Maybe I don't know that much_

_But I know this much is true_

_I was blessed because I was loved by you_

_0_

_You were my strength when I was weak_

_You were my voice when I couldn't speak_

_You were my eyes when I couldn't see_

_You saw the best there was in me_

_Lifted me up when I couldn't reach_

_You gave me faith 'cos you believed_

_I'm everything I am_

_Because you loved me_

_0_

_You were always there for me_

_The tender wind that carried me_

_A light in the dark shining your love into my life_

_You've been my inspiration_

_Through the lies you were the truth_

_My world is a better place because of you_

_0_

_You were my strength when I was weak_

_You were my voice when I couldn't speak_

_You were my eyes when I couldn't see_

_You saw the best there was in me_

_Lifted me up when I couldn't reach_

_You gave me faith 'cos you believed_

_I'm everything I am _

_Because you loved me_

_0_

_You were my strength when I was weak_

_You were my voice when I couldn't speak_

_You were my eyes when I couldn't see_

_You saw the best there was in me_

_Lifted me up when I couldn't reach_

_You gave me faith 'cos you believed_

_I'm everything I am _

_Because you loved me_

_I'm everything I am_

_Because you loved me."_

For a moment, Joseph was literally speechless at the song he had just heard, and had just shared with his wife, and he looked at her, dumbfounded. She smiled sensitively at him- it was, in part, a way of acknowledging how much he had done for her over the years, as well as an apology for what had happened between them a couple of nights before… But, as he still looked at her with a flabbergasted look as they continued dancing to the next song, which she couldn't even remember, she began to get a little worried.

"Joseph? Is there something wrong?" she leaned over to whisper into his ear, and he only smiled at her before, in front of everyone watching them, he kissed her. In the background, Clarisse could vaguely hear Mia laughing out loud, as well as more applause, but somehow that, as well as the fact that she was kissing in front of 200 guests, didn't seem to matter… all that mattered was that Joseph was kissing her…

When they broke apart, however, she went a deep red as she looked around at the beaming faces around her, but when she looked at Joseph, he was the one that was looking slightly worried.

"Should I have done that?" he asked as they continued dancing, and she grinned, her eyes sparkling with pleasure.

"The old Clarisse would have said no, but the new Clarisse really doesn't care… I take it, then, that you like the song?"

"Of course I did… do I really mean that much to you?" he asked softly, and she only brushed his face with her hand.

"Of course you do… always…."

From the sidelines, Mia was surprised- Joseph had kissed her grandmother in front of 200 people, and neither of them seemed upset about it… in fact, if they weren't so aware of everyone around them, she knew they would have probably kissed again. She grinned over at Sebastian who only beamed- he had long since realised that he wouldn't get a dance with the Queen at all that night but, seeing how blissfully happy she was with her husband, he knew wouldn't miss it… after all, who would blame them for not wanting to dance with anyone else that evening?

"We'd better go and greet some more guests," Clarisse murmured huskily after another dance. "There are so many people I want to introduce you to!" and she laughed when she saw him roll his eyes- he had already seen all the people when he was a security guard, but it was going to be a lot more different as Clarisse's husband… Even if he had wanted to escape, he couldn't- Clarisse wouldn't let go of his hand, and most people were very happy to see that the Queen finally had personal happiness… there were a few exceptions, however, and Joe was careful to steer her away from the people who looked at them sullenly.

"Finally caught up with you two!" a voice came from behind them as they moved back towards their seats, and they turned to see Mia, pretty in a pale pink dress, grinning at them. "I was wondering whether I would ever get a chance to speak with you two!"

"Thank you for the speech, Your Highness… it meant a lot to both your grandmother and I," Joe said rather stiffly, and Mia giggled.

"Joe, you and I are family now so you don't have to call me 'Your Highness anymore… hey, what am I going to call you now?"

"Joe- just Joe," he said simply, and Clarisse only laughed at both of them- they had had already established a bond five years ago, and she was pleased to see that her only closest relative had readily accepted Joseph as part of the family.

"So… I think this whole reception went well in spite of the fact that there was a different bride and groom!" Mia said cheerily as she looked around the room at the guests, who were talking or dancing. "I can only imagine what the papers are going to say tomorrow!" before she roared with laughter.

"Yes, it all went very well," Clarisse said calmly, and Mia only beamed happily at her.

"I'm just so happy that you've found someone who really loves you and cares about you… I just wish I had known about it sooner so I could have tried to…"  
"I know what you would have done, Mia, and I don't think we would have allowed it!" Joe said jokingly, and Mia only laughed along with him.

"I suppose… but I could have had a lot of fun trying to match make!"


	10. Their First Night

_Author's Note: this was a slightly difficult chapter to write, but I managed to do it! It's not as racy as it could be (sorry!) but I was going more on feelings than anything else, and I enjoyed it! Thanks to all the loyal readers who have reviewed!_

_The song lyrics are 'The Way You Look Tonight' by Jerome Kern and Dorothy Fields_

_The Princess Diaries doesn't belong to me in any way_

"Would you like to dance again?" Joseph asked as Mia drifted off to find Lily, and Clarisse smiled at him.

"I'd be delighted... just as long as it's only you, as I can see that a few other men would like to dance with me!" she teasingly waved vaguely around the room as he led her out onto the dance floor. Joseph laughed, well aware that certain men would be throwing jealous looks in his direction, but he was too happy and proud to care.

"Don't worry, I'll protect you from all of them… there is only one person who can dance with my wife tonight!"

"Really… who?" she asked innocently, but her blue eyes were sparkling with mischief, and he only chuckled as he pulled her closer to him, secretly rejoicing at the fact that he was now able to do that in front of everyone.

As with the other dances, they barely remembered that there was a roomful of people surrounding them, watching them… it was if they were in a room and a happy world of their own… 

After the dance, he led her back to their seats where two glasses of champagne were waiting for them, and Clarisse sipped a little before stifling a yawn. She had been hoping to be discreet but, as usual, Joseph had noticed her hand cover her mouth, and he moved his chair closer to hers, so that their legs were touching, to murmur into her ear:

"Are you tired, darling?"

"A little," she admitted with a slightly tired smile. "It's been such an emotionally charged few weeks…" she squeezed his hand for a moment. "And today has been a very big day… I suppose that you aren't tired at all?" she teased him.

"No," he returned the teasing smile. "I'm rather tired as well… some of these guests were rather fond of staying up late," he added in an undertone, and Clarisse suddenly remembered that he had been assigned to guard some of them the night before the wedding, and she chuckled. "So… did you want to try and leave early?"

"I'm sure we wouldn't be too popular if the reception ended at…" she paused, squinting at her watch. "Eight thirty in the evening… everyone seems to having such a good time!"

"Why not?" he put an arm around her shoulders, and she leaned against his shoulder. "Everyone may be having a good time but, as you've reminded me several times today, today is our day and I think that means we should be able to do what we want, when we want… and that includes when we want to leave! Besides, I know that Mia will keep the party going long after we leave."

"Alright," Clarisse smiled at him, loving the fact that he was calling them 'we'- they really were a couple! "But I don't really want to have everyone watching us leave… I'd rather make a quiet exit whereby no one knows that we've left… I'm sure you have plenty of ways for us to do that… after all, you are a former bodyguard!"

"Mmmm…" Joe looked thoughtfully around the room, trying to find a way that they could escape without anyone noticing them, before Mia stopped by their chairs, and Joe was suddenly struck with an idea.

"Mia, can you do something for us?" he half shouted over the noise of the music and the talking, and Mia leaned down between them.

"Sure… anything for the bride and groom!"

"Well, your grandmother and I would like to leave now, but we don't want to create a huge kafuffle in doing so…"

"We'd just like to make a quiet exit," Clarisse added hastily, and felt slightly concerned when she saw a mischievous glint in Mia's eyes. "Nothing too outrageous, though!"

"Don't worry, Grandma, it won't be… I'm sure that Lily and Andrew will help out… oh, and we may need Charlotte and Scott as well!"

When she disappeared to round them up, Clarisse looked at Joseph with a slightly furrowed brow.

"You don't think she'd do anything really too outrageous, do you?" Joseph only laughed and patted her arm reassuringly.

"It might be interesting… you have to admit that Mia certainly makes life very interesting around here at times!"

000

Clarisse was a little too tired to realise what Mia's plan specifically entailed, but she was aware of Mia (along with Lily and even Andrew) singing along to a song the DJ was playing on a couple of microphones as Charlotte and Scott hurried them discreetly out of the room. The rest of the party was too interested in seeing the Princess singing to take any notice of the bride and groom sneaking out of the ballroom doors.

"Good night," Clarisse said with a warm smile to Charlotte and Shades before they, grinning happily, disappeared back into the ballroom and closed the door behind them, leaving the hallway silent and empty. Clarisse and Joseph looked at each other for a moment before Joe wound Clarisse's arm through his and they began heading towards the stairs.

"That was easy!" he joked lightly as they walked up the stairs quietly, the sounds of the party fading as they got further away from the ballroom.

"Yes it was… I'm very surprised that Mia didn't try and rope me into doing karaoke again!" Clarisse chuckled. "Thankfully I did that at the bridal shower... But still, I would have liked to see more of her performance, but I just wanted to spend some time alone with you… we've been on display all day, and now it's time for us…"

"I wouldn't have minded seeing you singing again- you've got such a lovely voice- but I'm glad that it's just us now… I know you would have been used to being on display, but I personally found it exhausting!"

"Now you know how I feel," Clarisse said wisely. "It was exciting, for a little while, but then it got more and more wearing over the years, and now I'm ready just to relax and not be on constant display… and the perfect way to do this is to share my life with you," she smiled over at him tenderly, and he leant over to kiss her on the forehead as they walked down the hallway towards Clarisse's suite… or, rather, their suite now, Clarisse thought with a shy smile.

Although they were now more comfortable together, the shock of what had happened that day finally wearing off, there was a growing sense of awkwardness and anticipation between them… there were no more boundaries separating them anymore- they were husband and wife, not Queen and Head of Security, and both of them were surprised to realise that they were simultaneously nervous and excited about being alone together.

They were distracted from their thoughts for a moment when, standing in front of Clarisse's suite doors, they saw a banner stretched across the door frame, with 'CONGRATULATIONS NEWLYWEDS!' written on it. Underneath the banner was another, smaller handwritten sign with the words 'Honeymoon Suite… Do Not Disturb!'

"What the… who on earth…" Joe murmured almost to himself, and Clarisse smiled fondly at the signs.

"I have a feeling that my granddaughter had something to do with this… but this is lovely…"

The guards had disappeared for the evening and she walked forward to open the doors, but Joseph stopped her before she stepped into the room.

"I know something else that will make it even more special," Joe said softly before, to Clarisse's surprise, he scooped her easily up into his arms.

"Joseph!" she almost squealed with delight. "Are you sure you should be carrying me with your knees? I couldn't bear to have you in any pain!"

"I haven't got any pain at the moment and, even if I did, I wouldn't care," he said with a grin before he carried her over to the threshold. Clarisse laughed with pleasure as he set her down on her feet again, and he turned to close the doors, locking it behind him. Clarisse looked at him curiously.

"Why did you lock the doors for?"

"Just so that, according to the sign, we won't be disturbed," Joseph said with a smile as Clarisse blushed, before reverting back to the previous subject.

"I've never been carried over the threshold before… Rupert didn't do that…"

"I've never done that before, either, so that was another first for us," he said as they walked, arm in arm, into the suite. "I wanted to do it, though, and there was only one person I wanted to carry over the threshold!"

"Oh really…" Clarisse trailed off when they found several surprises awaiting them… 

The lights in the room had been dimmed, there was music playing softly from a CD player, and there were two bottles of champagne chilling in ice buckets on the table, two champagne flutes sitting nearby with a couple of slices of wedding cake that Clarisse couldn't remember cutting. 

"Now this is really too much," Clarisse said a little tearfully as Joseph opened one bottle and poured some of the sparkling liquid into the glass. "I don't know who did all of this, but it was very thoughtful…"

"There are a lot more people who knew about us in the palace than we realised," Joe said shrewdly as he handed her a glass and gazed at her for a moment, struck by how beautiful she looked in the candle and lamp lights. 

"To my beautiful bride… may we have many, many years of happiness together!"

"Thank you," Clarisse said quietly before adding: "To my handsome husband who has always been there for me, no matter what" and they lightly clinked glasses before each took a sip. After slipping the small tiara in the velvet lined box on her desk, she slowly sank onto the couch and slipped her shoes off with a happy sigh.

"Thank goodness… although I'm used to wearing heels, it's such a relief to take them off in the evening!"

"I'm glad too…" Joe teased as he tossed his jacket over a nearby chair and sat down next to her on the couch. Clarisse said stiffly next to him for a moment, wondering what to do, when she suddenly realised that it was Joseph sitting next to her, and she relaxed and snuggled up to him as he put an arm around her. 

They could still hear sounds from the party downstairs drifting in through Clarisse's open windows, and Clarisse was relieved to know that the party was still going on even though they had disappeared.

"What a day…" Clarisse sighed, relaxing completely. "When I woke up this morning, I never thought it would end with me being married to you… but what an amazing day! What about you?"

"I thought that Mia was the one getting married but, instead, you convinced her not to do what she wasn't ready for, and claimed her wedding ceremony as your own, much to the surprise of the nation and me!'

"Yes, I didn't think I would do that," Clarisse chuckled delightedly at Joseph's summary of that day. "But I was never 100 convinced that Mia marrying Andrew was the right thing… He's a nice boy, but…"

"She's much too spirited for him… that's what I thought," Joe finished off her sentence. "But it took a lot of courage from both of you to do what you both did…"

"Mia's always been courageous, but I've always been more inclined to stick to what I know, and do the right thing… not create any waves…"

"Until today," Joseph said pointedly, leaning over to kiss her on the cheek, and she smiled over at him. "I was very proud of what you did at the church."

"Alright, I was brave today… but that was for us, and I knew that I would do anything for us." 

She paused for a moment, thinking back on the agony of the past few days, and decided to tell Joseph how she had felt during those days.

"You know, as soon as you walked out of the ballroom that night, I realised that I had made the biggest mistake of my life… All I could think about for the next two days was the look on your face, and the fact that I may have lost you… I'm afraid that Mia may have been neglected a little… I was numb for most of that evening, and then I cried and cried and cried… the only other time I have cried that much as when Phillipe died… What about you?"

She twisted around slightly and looked at him curiously, and Joe looked out the window for a moment before looking back at Clarisse again.

"I was hurt and angry, I'll admit that, and I was going to resign… but I came to realise that you did have responsibilities that you had to put before us… Mia most definitely… but I was rather childish to expect you to make a clear cut decision in a few days, and it most definitely wasn't fair for me to walk out on you when you were trying to explain why. Besides, although Scott took my letter, I don't think he would have let me resign."

"_**I**_ wouldn't have let you resign," Clarisse said pointedly, and then softened. "Not unless you decided to stay… I was missing you so much that I think I may have been planning to beg for your forgiveness… that would have been interesting!"

"I would have liked to have seen that," Joe said with a grin as he stretched over to retrieve the champagne to refill their glasses. 

"But I missed you too… not talking to you made me realise that you are not only the only woman I will ever really, truly love, but my best friend as well…"

"You are such a sweet gentleman," Clarisse looked at him, her eyes sparkling with love. "You know that you've always been my best friend _and_ the love of my life… and now you are my husband as well…"

She leaned over to kiss him softly on the lips and, as before, she found herself melting into his embrace… no one had ever kissed her like Joseph did, and she loved every moment…

As they both began to get swept away with the feelings that had been blocked and ignored for so long, Clarisse couldn't help but panic, and pull away quickly, her cheeks going red.

"I'm sorry… I just…" she stuttered softly, trying to explain to him… No one had ever made her feel as alive as this, and both her feelings and the intensity of them scared her just a little. 

Joseph, watching her tremble slightly, understood how she was feeling- she had been closed off for so long, starved of real love from Rupert, that now she had the chance of real love and happiness again, it scared her.

"I know darling, and we can as slow or as fast as you want… all that matters is that we're together… finally," he added softly as he rubbed her arm reassuringly, and she chuckled as she leant back against him again.

"We're not going to live that down, are we?"

"Not if James has anything to do with it…" he trailed off as he heard a familiar song playing downstairs, and wanted to dance with Clarisse again.

"I know that you're tired but… would you like to dance?" Joseph stood up slowly, and Clarisse looked up at him, astonished.

"Here? Now?"

"Here and now… but this isn't the most unusual place we've danced, is it?" he said with a soft smile. "Besides, can't you hear what they're playing downstairs?"

She cocked her head to the side, and she smiled dreamily before nodding and standing up next to him.

"I'd love to…. Do you remember," she began as they began to dance near the window, the warm July breeze drifting in from the windows. "The first time we danced to this song? It was on the balcony, a star filled night, and the garden was in full bloom…"

Joseph chuckled as tender thoughts of that night filled his mind. 

"And we, as usual, had managed to disappear from the rest of the world for a few minutes," he said softly.

"A few minutes that seemed like forever," Clarisse said almost as softly as she leant her head on his shoulder, and he stroked her hair.

"How could I forget that evening…it was wonderful…?"

"…_Yes, you're lovely_

_With your smile so warm_

_And your cheeks so soft_

_There is nothing for me but to love you_

_Just the way you look tonight…"_

"Do you remember our first kiss?" he asked after a slight pause, and Clarisse looked at him with a smile.

"Of course I do… that was one of the happiest moments of my life… I never realised, until afterwards, how much it meant to me… or the feelings that went with it," Clarisse said softly, her cheeks turning a pale pink as she thought about that moment.

"I thought I was going to get fired," Joe confessed with a sheepish look, and Clarisse looked at him, astonished. "I mean, a bodyguard kissing the Queen would be considered a fireable offence… I thought that you would tell Rupert, or that someone could have seen us…"

"Why would I have told Rupert about the kiss, Joseph? You were my friend, and you were there when I needed you… everything that happened between us stayed between us, and I would never have told him anything. And, as for you getting fired, I wouldn't have let you go without a fight… you were, after all, the best man in my employ…"

"I never really asked you at the time… I was in shock that it had happened… but how did you feel after….?" He fiddled with the hem on her coat, and she smiled before she lifted his face to look at her.

"I was so used to not being kissed or shown affection that, when we kissed that time, I thought my happiness was because someone had shown me affection… But every time you kiss me, my heart races a million kilometres an hour, I can hardly breathe when I'm near you, and I know that I can fly when I'm with you…" she trailed off as Joseph leaned over to kiss her again. 

This time, however, Clarisse felt her relax easily into Joseph's arms, melting into happiness…

"I love you," she breathed softly as his lips moved down from her lips to her neck, and he stopped for a moment, smiling adoringly into her big blue eyes.

"I love you too…"

He looked at her for a moment before realising that she was smiling seductively at him, her eyes aglow with tenderness and happiness, and her hands were fiddling with the buttons on his waistcoat. She stopped when he smiled at her, and she pulled away for a moment to lead him towards the bedroom, blowing out candles as she went…..

0000

Just inside the doorway, she turned to kiss him again, her hands still fiddling with the shirt, but quickly stopped when she realised that he was watching her.

"I'm sorry," she said shyly, trying to pull away before he stopped her by putting both arms around her waist and pulling her even closer to him. They were standing so close together that Joseph could see that she was breathing slightly faster than normal, and he sensed that her heart was racing as her cheeks glowed bright red.

"Why are you sorry?" he murmured as he leant forward to kiss her on the neck again, Clarisse giggling softly at the touch of his beard on her neck, and breathing in her perfume… her scent had always been so intoxicating to him…

"It's been such a long time… I'm nervous… and embarrassed that I'm nervous…"

She couldn't explain it to him (although she knew she didn't need to), but she could barely remember her first wedding night, and she felt as though this was her first wedding night, and she was suddenly a nervous eighteen year old girl again. But in a way, this was her first wedding night, and it was the man she knew inside and out (and vice versa), and had loved for a long, long time…

"Darling," he looked at her calmly, his grasp still firm around her waist. "Like I said before, we can do whatever you want, I don't care… I've just waited to be with you for so long that nothing matters to me anymore…"

"It just seems a little daunting… this is the next step in our relationship, but I never thought that I would ever be this happy, or ever experience this…" she said, not looking at him as she fiddled with his tie, and he cupped her chin in his hand, making her look at him.

"But you are, and you will be… you deserve all of this and more, and I will enjoy every moment of making you happy for the rest of your life…" he said intensely, leaning over to kiss her again, shrugging off his waistcoat as she continued unbuttoning his shirt. While she was now more relaxed, it was now him that was nervous… he could easily put his arms around her waist, or her shoulders when they were still a secret couple, but he suddenly found that he didn't even have the courage to even try and remove her silk coat…

"What's wrong, Joseph?" she pulled away slightly to look at him, his hands stiffly holding her shoulders.

"I just… I'm just afraid that…" he stuttered, feeling foolish that he couldn't finish his sentence or explain to her what he was feelings, but as Clarisse smiled at him tenderly, he knew that she realised he was embarrassed, and she gently caressed his face with her hand.

"You are such a gentleman, Joseph Bonnell… Isn't this ridiculous?" she said with a laugh, dropping her hands for a moment. "We've spent so long hiding our feelings that, now we can show them, we find it difficult to open up… we really are a perfect match! However, I may be able to help you with something…."

She tossed her silk coat lightly into a chair and, still watching Joseph with a surprisingly open look in her eyes, reached back and unzipped her dress. It fell to the floor at her feet, and she stepped over it to stand in front of him, clad in a cream coloured slip and lace lingerie, revealing an even better figure than he had imagined, before floating back towards him.

"It's going to be alright," she said calmly, stroking his face again with her hand as slowly, as if in a dream, Joseph pulled her towards him again to kiss her….

As their kisses became deeper and more passionate, neither of them found it difficult to give into their feelings… Joseph almost shivered as her fingers gently touched his chest under his shirt, and Clarisse only trembled slightly as he caressed her shoulders before his hands shyly began to roam, knocking her silk straps off as he did so. Without pulling away at all, she silent shimmied out of it, kicking it away as she tossed his shirt in the opposite direction.

"Joseph…" she breathed softly into his ear as his lips moved from her neck towards her lips again, and she sighed softly as he ran his hands over her, and she almost melted… it was crazy to feel the way she was feeling, but he had always seemed to make her feel like this, alive and free… all she knew was that she didn't want to be the other Clarisse ever again….

Joseph smiled tenderly to himself- she was still rather proper and shy about her feelings, and the way she should feel about certain things, but he loved the fact that she was slowly opening a long dormant part of herself to him… although she was, publicly, a shy and reserved woman, he knew that, deep down, she was really a very warm, loving, affectionate and even passionate woman… and that was the woman who had showed herself to him, and the woman he had fallen in love with… 

He just couldn't believe that it was him that she had chosen… in a way, he didn't feel as if he was good enough for her… she was a Queen, and a lady, and he was only a bodyguard…

He suddenly scooped her into his arms, still kissing her, and deposited her gently on the bed before sitting next to her. He gazed at her perfect form, clad in lace lingerie, and beautiful, radiant face with awe… he really couldn't believe that she was finally his, and he was finally hers, although he had always been hers…

"Beautiful," he murmured softly, and she only blushed and shook her head before he leant down and cupped her cheek in his hand. He had never understood why she never considered herself beautiful… another legacy from her first husband, he though bitterly to himself… to him, she was perfect in every way… 

Clarisse herself couldn't believe what he had said, and the blind love and adoration in his eyes… he was such a good man, and she couldn't believe that he loved her…

"Look at me, Clarisse," he said softly, and she looked at him with her wide blue eyes, almost in tears at the tender look in his eyes and smile. "You are so beautiful, Clarisse… I wish you would believe me…"

"You wouldn't want me to get vain, would you?" she teased softly, but her eyes told him she understood what he was saying.

"How on earth did I get so lucky to have you fall in love, and then marry me?" he murmured almost to himself, and Clarisse beamed as she gently touched his face with one hand.

"I'm the lucky one… you're the one I love, and I couldn't believe it when you fell for me… I thought that someone else would have married you a long time ago…"

"There's only one problem with that suggestion," he teased huskily as he gazed down at her for a moment, appreciating and loving every moment with her. "I'm sure that there were plenty out there who wanted to marry me, but I didn't want to marry them… there was only one I ever wanted to marry, and she's right here…"

"Oh, Joseph…" Clarisse's eyes filled with tears as he bent down and kissed her again, and the emotions of the past few days or, more appropriately, the past thirty years were finally released as the world beyond them suddenly faded into the background… all that mattered was that they were together…

0000

He didn't know what disturbed him, but Joseph suddenly found himself staring into the darkness … he glanced around, wondering where he was, before he realised that Clarisse was snuggled up next to him, her hand on his chest, and everything came rushing back to him…. They had gotten married earlier that day! 

Listening to the sounds of the night, he became aware of the fact that there was no music or sounds drifting up from downstairs, so the wedding reception must have finished… but long after the bride and groom had actually left! He squinted over at his glow in the dark watch, sitting on the bedside table next to him, and was a little surprised to see that it was just after two in the morning… it had had seem as though it had been longer…

He smiled down at the top of Clarisse's head, and gently reached out to stroke it with his available hand.

"My wife," he whispered in wonderment as he stroked her hair… he had never been happier in his life- he was now married to the woman he had adored almost from the moment he had met her, and now they were finally together! 

After a moment, he shifted slightly to sit up against the pillows, and Clarisse raised her head to look at him, smiling widely- she had been awake the entire time!

"You're awake!" he said in a loud whisper and she grinned as she leaned up against the pillows with him, and he put an arm around her.

"Yes, although I did have a sleep before… "

"What have you been doing, lying here in the dark?" he asked as he continued stroking her hair with his hand.

"I've just been thinking about how happy I am…" she leaned against his shoulder happily, and he kissed the top of her head. There was no awkwardness or shyness between them now, and they felt the unbreakable bond between them, which had always been there, but had been solidified by their marriage.

"Did you hear when the reception finished?"

"No, but I did hear Mia and Lily walking past the suite… I couldn't hear exactly what they were saying, but I can imagine that it was cheeky…" she grinned to herself- Mia could be rather cheeky at times, but she did love that about her.

"Imagine all the disappointed people that wanted to say goodbye and gawk at us before they left, and you selfishly denied them the opportunity by leaving early!" Joe said in a mocking tone, and Clarisse only laughed.

"It wasn't my idea to sneak out!" she protested easily as she ran her hand down his chest, before pausing to look at something on the top of his right shoulder. "What's that?" she asked as she squinted at it.

"What's what?" he asked as he followed her hand pointing to his shoulder, and he chuckled when he saw that she was pointing at the small tattoo.

"Did you want a closer look?" he asked joking and she elbowed him in the stomach as she leaned over to look at it, and switch on the lamp.

"What is the tattoo design? I see that it's in the shape of a heart, and there are two initials inside… C R… who's CR?" she looked at him inquiringly, and Joseph only shook his head mysteriously.

"I'm not telling you…" he teased, but he suspected she knew when she continued to look at it intensely, before looking back at him, tears filling her eyes.

"Are they my initials?" she asked in a quiet voice, and he nodded silently as she looked at it again, tears spilling onto her cheeks.

"What a…." she broke off, her voice choking up with tears, and Joseph hugged her tightly before she beamed up at him.

"You're always full of surprises, aren't you? When did you have that done?"

"About ten years ago, when we were in England… I just thought it might be nice to have it done, and the tattooist never guessed the significance of it… I did have a name, just in case…"

"Oh…" Clarisse was staring at it again, before looking at him with a sparkle in her eyes. "I think I want one too… I want to have something with your initials!" 

She paused and laughed at Joseph's horrified expression before continuing. "Why not?"

"No, you can't have a tattoo… you are perfect the way you are… I'm not worth that!"

"Yes you are," Clarisse looked at him determinedly. "Besides, I don't need your permission to get a tattoo or not… you may be my husband, but…."

"Alright," Joseph acquiesced with a calm smile, giving in so quickly that Clarisse was instantly suspicious. "By the way, do you realise how much pain you would have to put up with when it's done… believe me, it's no picnic!"

"How much pain exactly?" she now looked slightly squeamish.

"A lot of pain… more than you could imagine, and you will have pain after you have it done…"

"Okay… it was only an idea anyway," she admitted with a giggle, and Joseph was suddenly struck with an idea.

"Have you got a pen?" he asked after a moment, and she handed one from her bedside table, giving him a quizzical look as he started drawing something on the top of her hand.

"What are you doing?" she asked, giggling as the pen lightly touched her skin. "That tickles… what are you doing?" she repeated herself and, after a moment, Joseph stopped and pulled away from her hand so she could see it… on it he had drawn a tiny heart, with a JB inscribed in the middle.

"There you are… now you don't have to have a tattoo," he said decisively, and she laughed softly as she looked at it again, before smiling at him.

"Thank you… you're quite decisive when you want to be, aren't you?" she teased, and he only chuckled before pulling her close and kissing her.

Settling back into his arms, she laughed as she saw the clothes that were scattered around the room. Joseph, looking around the dimly lit room, realised what she was laughing about and joined in, before realising that most of his clothes were still downstairs…

"I think I might have to go and retrieve some clothes before tomorrow," he said thoughtfully, and Clarisse's eyes lit up.

"Oh, you're going to go to your room! I'll come with you- I've never seen where you lived!" she bounded happily out of bed, and went over to her wardrobe to find her bathrobe. 

"Just in case you didn't want to get all dressed again, I've got an old bathrobe of Phillipe's here… did you want to wear that?" she offered it to him, and he accepted gratefully as they smiled warmly at each other.

"Thank you… this is a nice robe," he said as he put it on, and Clarisse smiled at him fondly.

"I got that for him for his last birthday, and I couldn't bear to throw it away… So, do you think everyone would be in bed by now?"

"Yes… I don't think even the Princess would have lasted beyond midnight, so I'm fairly sure that no one will be around!"

000

Sure enough, the hallways of the palace were eerily silent as they padded downstairs and headed towards Joseph's room. He silently unlocked the door, allowing her in before him, and she looked around inquisitively when he turned on the light and shut the door behind him.

"This is where you lived?" she asked, a little surprised as she looked around the small living room, with a doorway leading to the bedroom and bathroom. "No wonder you wished you had a fireplace!"

Joseph laughed at her reaction as he walked into his bedroom, and opened the small cupboard that held all his clothing, Clarisse hot on his heels. She looked around curiously as she sunk slowly onto his double bed.

"It was very easy… to me, this was only a place to sleep, as I had my meals with the boys and spent my waking hours either at your side," he smiled teasingly at her. "Or with the boys… I wasn't like you, and had a virtual house at my disposal!" he teased as he tossed a shirt at her, and she laughed. "Why? Do you think you could manage to live here?"

"No, I don't think I could… I would follow you anywhere, Joseph, but I think I would have to draw the line at living in here for an extending period of time…"

"Which is why I'm very glad that your suite is big enough for both of us," he laughed as he disappeared into the bathroom. "I think I'm going to enjoy living in the Queen's suite!"

"It will be a former Queen's suite in a few days," Clarisse corrected him, and he laughed as he re-emerged from the bathroom.

"True, but it will always be a Queen's suite to me… all because you will be there, and you will always been a Queen to me!"

"I don't really care where we are, just as long as we're together," Clarisse said tenderly as she walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, sneaking a soft kiss onto his shoulder, and he cuddled her close for a moment. 

He closed his duffle bag with a flourish, and Clarisse looked slightly surprised at all he was taking.

"Is that all you're taking?"

"Yes… well, I did live in black for most of my life, so most of my clothing is black and black is one colour that you can use in a variety of ways…"

"Hmm… maybe it's time that I introduced you to a few new colours," Clarisse said thoughtfully as they walked out of the room, Joe closing the door softly behind him, and they began walking back towards the suite.

"We'll have to see about that," Joseph replied teasingly, but he wouldn't mind the change. 

When they walked past Mia's suite, they were surprised to hear music blaring from inside the room.

"I would have thought that she would have been asleep by now!" Clarisse said in surprise, and Joseph only chuckled.

"I think that, after what she narrowly missed today, she deserves to be able to stay up as late as she wants," he said as they walked back into the suite, and Clarisse laughed.

'I suppose so…."

Joseph decided to unpack in the morning, and they were soon back in bed, ready for sleep as Clarisse curled up happily in his arms.

"What a day… but what a wonderful day," she said in a soft voice as she leaned her head against his chest, and his arm tightened around her slightly.

"Yes, it was a wonderful day," he agreed, and she looked up at him with her blue eyes full of love.

"I love you, Joseph Bonnell… and I'm glad that I'm going to be known as Mrs Joseph Bonnell from now on!"

"You will always be a Queen to a lot of people, darling, no matter what you say… but I love the fact that you're Mrs Bonnell too… and I love you too… very, very much…" 


	11. The Honeymoon

_Author's Note: this chapter could actually develop into another story- there was still a bit I wanted to write, but I thought the chapter was getting too big… Keep your eyes peeled, it might work out!_

_The Princess Diaries doesn't belong to me_

The sun was shining brightly in through the curtains when Clarisse woke up later in the morning and, for a moment, she wondered why she was sleeping in… there was so much work to be done leading up to the coronation in seven days time, and she couldn't afford to miss a moment. She looked up at the ceiling for a moment, gaining her bearings, and wondering why she was still so tired, but so ecstatically happy….

She stretched her arms out above her, and was surprised to see a plain gold wedding band on her left hand… it wasn't the ring that Rupert had given her years ago… As she stared at it thoughtfully, she suddenly remembered, in a gush of happiness that brought tears to her eyes, why… she had married Joseph the previous day, instead of Mia marrying Andrew!

She thought back to the past few days with a mixture of feelings… after he had stormed out of the ballroom three nights ago, she had wondered whether he would ever speak to her again, let alone forgive her, but she instead took matters into her own hands… after giving Mia some timely advice yesterday, she had realised that it was time for her to follow her heart….

She still trembled slightly at the memory of standing in front of a church full of people, all of whom were staring at her, as she openly proposed to the love of her life. A tear ran down her cheek as she remembered how emotional she had been, and how scared she had been that Joseph would turn her down…

"_Dear Joseph… Am I too late to ask you… to accept my hand in marriage?"_

Time had seemed to have stopped when she asked him that, and she was worried that he would say no… but instead, he had smiled slightly at her and said:

"_I thought you'd never ask."_

She beamed happily at the memory of everything that had happened yesterday, and she rolled over onto her side to greet her husband (her husband, she thought happily as a chill ran down her spine)… it was the first morning of their marriage, and she was sure it was going to be wonderful…

But she was disappointed, and even a little sad, to see an empty side of the bed… he wasn't there…

"Joseph?" she called tentatively, a note of panic in her voice, as she slowly sat up in bed and looked around… where was he… before she saw him, clad in his bathrobe, walking back into the bedroom, carrying a tray.

"What on earth are you doing?" she almost laughed with relief at seeing him- for a moment, she had had the terrible feeling that it really all had been a dream, and that she was really waking up alone, and unmarried…

"I just thought that my wife deserved to have breakfast in bed," he said as he walked over to her side of the bed, and sat down near her sheet covered legs. "Tea, toast and fruit- that's what your maids told me you liked," he added as he put the tray into her lap, and she smiled at him a little tearfully.

"Thank you…" was all she managed to say before he leaned over and kissed her lovingly on the lips…

"Good morning, my beautiful wife," he murmured huskily when they broke apart, and she beamed at him, her heart racing a mile a minute, and her cheeks reddening with emotion, but loving the fact that it wasn't a dream at all… he really was her husband!

"Good morning my kind, thoughtful and handsome husband… but where is your breakfast?" she looked at him curiously, and he grinned easily as he disappeared back into the living room, carrying in, seconds later, another tray.

"Here's mine!"

"I see that you eat more than I do in the morning," she observed as he sat comfortably back in bed with her, and settled the tray on his lap.

There were a few moments of silence as they sipped their teas, and munched on their toast, before Joseph looked at her again.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think I detected a note of panic in your voice when you called out to me before… what was wrong?"

"Oh, that," Clarisse blushed, embarrassed that she had panicked. "It was nothing, really…"

"You and I both know you can't lie to me… you always go red and can't look me in the eye," he said teasingly as he pushed his tray back for a moment, and moved closer to her.

He ran a hand down her shoulder, and leaned over to nuzzle her neck, before gently bringing her fact to look at his.

"So, what was that all about?"

"Oh, you're going to think I'm silly…" she began, and he looked at her seriously.

"I have never thought that you were silly… some of the things you've done over the years, however, have been silly," he amended with a chuckle, and she giggled along with him. "But I've never thought that **you **were silly…. So?"

"I was… I was just a little worried that everything had happened yesterday… had been a dream and that I would find myself here, alone…"she trailed off shyly, and Joseph pulled her into his arms for a hug, before kissing her tenderly again.

"Does that seem like a dream to you?" he asked softly after they broke apart, and she chuckled slightly.

"No, it doesn't… but I did warn you that it would be silly…."

"Not at all," he said calmly as he moved his tray over to knock into hers. "Yesterday did seem like a dream to both of us, but I understand completely what you're feeling… I thought the same thing when I woke up before… but it did happen…"

"I'm just not used to waking up with someone… Rupert never stayed all night, and I suppose that I got used to waking up in here alone…"

"Now you're not going to wake up alone- you're going to wake up with me… Lucky you…"

"I am lucky to wake up to you," Clarisse said teasingly as she brushed her hand against his face. "But it is nice to know that I won't wake up alone anymore… not unless we have an argument," she added cheekily.

They ate their breakfast in companionable silence, and Clarisse sighed happily as she pushed her tray away and leant back on the pillows for a moment.

"Incidentally, what is the time?" she asked and Joseph checked his watch.

"About nine…. Why, in a hurry to get back to work already?" he teased, and she laughed.

"No …." she trailed off as another thought hit her- what would the headlines be in the papers?

"Where are you going?" he asked as she slid out of bed, slipping on her bathrobe, and heading towards the doors that led to the living room.

"I'm just wondering what the headlines in the papers are!" she called over her shoulder, and Joseph followed her.

The papers were, as usual, spread out on her desk awaiting her perusal, and she picked up the first one curiously…

As she had suspected, they had made the front page of all the papers, with headlines ranging from: 'QUEEN MARRIES BODYGUARD IN SURPRISE CEREMONY!' to 'PRINCESS/QUEEN WEDDING SWAP: PRINCESS DOESN'T, BUT QUEEN DOES' while the third newspaper read: 'OUT IN THE OPEN: SECRET LOVE MADE OFFICIAL!'

"Wow, these headlines really were imaginative, weren't they?" Joseph murmured in surprise as he wound an arm around her waist, and perused the headlines from over her shoulder. "I've never been on the front page of any newspaper before!"

"Enjoy it, although it does get intrusive after a while… although, I have to admit, this is one of the few times that I'm enjoying it… "

"What are they saying?" he asked as she perused a paper.

"Nothing of consequence… they have a few eyewitness accounts from the ceremony, but the information isn't exactly all correct… it seems that our wedding guests were able to keep a secret from the press!"

"And this journalist is upset that Elsie Kentworthy managed to get exclusive shots from inside the ceremony, but they only got pictures of us outside the church!"

"I suppose I should really ask Charlotte to release a statement confirming our marriage…." Clarisse sighed wearily as she walked over to turn the television on via remote, and sank down on the couch. "But honestly, everyone knows it's true. I just want to keep this private…"

"Understandable and you don't have to if you don't want to," Joe said as he sat down next to her and put an arm around her shoulders. "Anything you want to do is fine with me…."

0000

After watching some of Elsie Kentworthy's show (where she was clearly delighted about the fact that she had the exclusive details of the wedding), Clarisse reluctantly realised that it was time she got dressed, and went downstairs to see what was going on.

"What are you going to do?" she asked as she stood up and stretched, and Joseph grinned as he stood up with her.

"Well, I thought that I would join you down in your study… I don't have anything else to do today, and I don't mind… just as long as we're together!"

"That's sweet of you," Clarisse said with a fond smile. "I'm hoping that there isn't that much to do… I don't want to do much work today, for some reason!"

Half an hour later, they emerged from their suite hand in hand, and walked down to Clarisse's suite, almost completely oblivious to everyone around them. Both of them would have been surprised at the reaction their appearance had evoked- the guards thoroughly approved of the marriage, and they were thrilled to see how happy they were together.

When they walked into Clarisse's study, Clarisse was surprised to see Mia sitting in her chair, chatting happily to Charlotte. They both looked up when the couple came in, and looked rather taken aback to see them there. Mia quickly recovered to smile happily at them.

"Good morning, newlyweds…"

"Good morning Mia and Charlotte," Clarisse said calmly. "What are you two doing here?"

"I was just about to ask you the same question- what are you two doing here?"

"What do you mean 'what are we doing here'? I know that there's still quite a bit of work to do before your coronation next week," Clarisse said as she sat down in the chair opposite Mia, Joseph standing behind her.

"We thought that… well, you just got married yesterday, and I thought that you would want to spend some time with your new husband!"

"Joseph has decided to stay here while I work," Clarisse explained, patting Joseph's hand happily. "So, what's on my schedule for today?"

Charlotte and Mia exchanged another smug look, and Clarisse couldn't help but feel slightly suspicious… what had those two girls done now?

"Well… don't get mad, but Charlotte and I were discussing it with Sebastian last night, and we thought that it would be nice if we cleared your schedule for the next three or four days so that you and Joe could go the beach house or the Winter Palace…"

"I see," Clarisse managed to say as she stared at the two young women in astonishment and slight annoyance. "How did you manage to clear my schedule? I thought that it was packed all week… not to mention that you forgot to consult me about this?" she said, a tinge of sarcasm in her voice.

Mia, however, was completely unperturbed by Clarisse's annoyance.

"We didn't want to disturb you, Grandma… you've done such a great job preparing for the last few weeks, and there are only minor details to wrap up… Besides, I think you and I both know that you've been working very, very hard for the past month, not to mention the past five or so years, and you deserve to have a break… I know that you won't be Queen after next week, but this is a special time for both you and your husband, and you deserve it."

She looked gently at her grandmother, and Clarisse suddenly found that she couldn't be mad at Mia… It was true, it was a special time for them, and there was Joseph to consider in her plans as well… Joseph squeezed her hand gently, and Clarisse finally found the words to speak.

"Thank you both very much… It's a lovely idea and we…" she glanced at Joseph, who only nodded. "Would be delighted to accept it."

"We were hoping that you would because we've already had your maids packing some clothes for you, and the car is ready to go outside… We've set up a decoy, as the press will be trying to get another picture of you," Mia waved one of the papers in their direction.

"The official limousine will be going to the airport, to where our plane should be leaving, and we're hoping that the press will follow it… You will be in the plain black car heading in the opposite direction…"

She chuckled at the stunned looks on Clarisse and Joe's faces, before Joe had to laugh along.

"You're going to be an excellent Queen, Mia… I can tell by the fact that you've planned to get us out of the palace as soon as possible!"

"Thank goodness I've finally got my act together… besides, I can't have a party with you two being here!" she joked before looking past him into the doorway, where Clarisse's maids were standing.

"Right, it looks like you're ready to go…"

They all stood up together, and Mia moved over to give Joe an impulsive hug.

"Have a great time, and I'm going to make sure that you have a decent honeymoon when all this is over… take care of her," she added into his ear, and he squeezed her warmly, suddenly realising just how fond he was of the girl.

"I will, and we will have a good time…"

Mia moved over to Clarisse, who was still looking slightly bewildered at the turn of events, but also happy to have some time off, and couldn't resist laughing at her expression.

"Don't worry, the palace will be still standing by the time you get back!" she joked as Clarisse pulled her close for a hug, tears filling her eyes. Everything had been so wonderful since yesterday, and she couldn't believe how happy she was…

"I hope so… and thank you, darling," she whispered into Mia's ear… she wished she could tell Mia exactly what she was feeling, but there were still a few things that would take a little more time. She had begun opening her heart years before, when she fell for Joseph, but it still would take a little more time to complete… Mia, however, sensed her quandary when she pulled away, as she beamed happily into her grandmother's face.

"Have a great time!" was all she said, but her eyes told Clarisse what she wanted to know.

0000

After a few exciting moments when they quickly dashed from the front of the palace to the car, they soon found themselves in the black sedan borrowed from the palace garages, following the royal limousine out of the gates. The press were camped out in front of the gates, and the movement from the palace had alerted to the fact that it was possible that the royal newlyweds were on the move.

Joseph had planned on driving up to the beach house, and he tapped on the steering wheel a little nervously as they followed the limo up the driveway. Clarisse, who was sitting beside him, sank a little in her seat as the limo turned in one direction and their car in the other direction… would they follow the ruse?

"Which way are the photographers looking?" she hissed softly as they headed north, and Joe glanced in his review mirror for a moment.

"They took the bait… they're following the limo!"

"Good," Clarisse gave a deep sigh of relief as she straightened back up into her seat. "I just don't want to have to explain us to the rest of the media… they're already annoyed they haven't had any exclusive pictures, or even a statement confirming the wedding, and now…"

"Don't worry; I'm sure it's all going to blow over… I'm sure that Mia and Charlotte will be able to handle anything," Joe reached over and stroked her hand reassuringly for a moment.

"Besides, now that we're heading to the beach house and we're in hiding for the next four days… Oh, I've just realised something else- we're heading in the direction of a certain spot you asked me to take you to again some day…"

"Oh yes…" Clarisse's eyes began to sparkle with pleasure at the memory. "You are definitely going to stop when we get there!"

A little over an hour and a half later, Joseph pulled up in the familiar spot, which was thankfully deserted, and Clarisse beamed happily as he helped her out of the car before they walked over to the fence overlooking the ravine. Clarisse stood close to him as he put an arm around her, and they enjoyed the sunshine and the warm breeze for a few minutes.

"I… I came out here that night…" Joe said after a moment of looking out towards the sea in the distance. "It was the only place where I could go and think… I think I got here in about an hour, and I remember being surprised that I hadn't been done for speeding…"

"But were you in one of the palace cars?" Clarisse asked impishly, and he laughed sheepishly.

"Yes, which is why I didn't get caught… Anyway, I just stood out here for a while and thought… I thought that we might never be together…"

"Oh darling," Clarisse said softly, turning to look at him. "I never realised… well, we don't need to think about that anymore… we're together now and, you're definitely going to be bringing me out here again!... We'll have plenty of time to do that!"

They both laughed as they looked out at the view again, and Clarisse beamed tenderly down at the wedding band Joseph had slipped on her finger the previous afternoon. Joseph saw where she was looking, and smiled- he hadn't realised how much it would mean to her…

"By the way, when did you take the other ring off?" he asked after a moment, turning to look at her, and resting his left hand on the fence with hers.

"Oh… I took it off the night we… anyway, I thought that since I wouldn't been Queen in a week, and it was time to start anew with a new life… and it included taking off the ring that Rupert had given me. It was a lovely ring, but I found it too big and ostentatious… Rupert insisted that a Princess, and future Queen, needed a decent ring, so I didn't argue… But he never wore a wedding ring, which is why I can't believe that you're wearing one… how does it feel?"

Joe looked down at his left hand next to hers and smiled- he had never been married before, and hadn't really thought that much about having a ring to wear, but he had to admit that he liked this one… it meant more to him that Clarisse had given it to him, and that he was now, officially, taken…

"I've never had one before, but I like it… I like the fact that it will tell everyone that I'm a married man…"

"Oh Joseph…" Clarisse crooned softly as she leant over and kissed him. "I like being a married woman again, too…"

They stood there for a few moments more, before Joseph glanced at his watch.

"I know we could stand here forever, but I think it might be time to keep going… we've still got another almost two hours till we get to the beach house…"

"I know," Clarisse said as she looked out at the view again. "I just love this view so much, and I'm glad that you showed it to me…."

0000

Clarisse beamed happily as Joseph drove on the gravel paved driveway of the beach house- although her garden was her sanctuary, and she enjoyed her time at the Winter Palace as well, she loved coming out to the beach house, even though she had never spent any more than a day there… Unlike either palace, however, there was more sentimental value for Clarisse- originally intended as Phillipe's weekend and summer retreat, he had invited Clarisse to use it whenever possible, but she hadn't had the chance…

More of a simple house than a palace, it was situated several hundred metres away from the ocean. It was two storeys with three bedrooms, with the main bedroom taking up most of the second floor, with its own en-suite and balcony; a large, airy living room that opened out onto the sand, two bathrooms, and a large open kitchen. There was also a garage and a smaller cottage a little distance from the house, intended for guests or the security entourage, but she was relieved to know that they wouldn't need it at all.

It was a gorgeous, simple house and Clarisse wished that she could have managed to spend some time out there… especially with Phillipe… But she would be spending her first few days of married life with her new husband, and it suddenly took on even more significance….

She sighed happily as Joseph pulled up outside the main entrance, and was literally bubbling over with excitement when he helped her out of the car.

"This is such a lovely place… so close to the ocean, and located in the middle of nowhere," she sighed happily, breathing in the scent of the ocean.

"Yes, it's always been so pretty," Joseph agreed- he had accompanied the Prince out several times on day trips, as well as Clarisse, but he was looking forward to making memories of the first few days of married life with his wife…

"Yes, I wished that I could have spent a night or two here," Clarisse said thoughtfully as she followed him back to the boot of the car, and he laughed.

"We will now, and it's going to be great fun!"

"By the way, I forgot to ask Mia- what are we going to do about food for the next few days?"

"According to Mia, the boot is packed with food, and the house was resupplied with more food last week (possibly in anticipation for her and Andrew, I assume), so we don't need to worry!"

"She's a lot more organised than I gave her credit for," she murmured in an undertone as Joseph opened the boot. Sure enough, there were several boxes of food packed into one side of the car, and their luggage was arranged on the other side.

As Clarisse reached in eagerly to take the first suitcase out, Joseph stopped her with a grin.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"I am reaching for a suitcase to carry in, Joseph," she looked at him mock haughtily for a moment. "I can't expect you to carry everything in… and this seems to be light enough…"

She lifted it easily out of the car, and then suddenly dropped in on the ground. "Actually, it seems to be a bit heavier than I imagined…"

"I suppose that the maids packed all your clothes," he teased with a grin, and Clarisse pretended to glare at him before dissolving into a smile.

"Here, you can carry one of these boxes in…I'll deal with the luggage."

She waited patiently for him to bring their luggage to the main doorway, and waited as he unlocked the door.

"Wait!" he said dramatically as she stepped towards the doorway, and she had to laugh at him.

"Are you going to do what I think you're going to do again?"

"Of course… there are only a few times that I will be able to do this, and I enjoy it… after all, it is our honeymoon!" he chuckled before he lifted her up and carried her over the threshold again.

00

After unpacking the boxes of food in the kitchen, Joseph amazed at how many electrical appliances there were in the kitchen, they went upstairs to the main bedroom to unpack their clothes, opening windows on the way to air the place out.

"This view is breathtaking!" Clarisse cried as she opened the curtains and windows, before stepping out onto the balcony, the ocean before her. "I can't wait to wake up to the sound of the ocean in the morning!"

"Neither can I!" Joe said as he followed her out onto the balcony and put an arm around her waist. "It is a wonderful view, I agree with you there… but I have an even better view," he said as he looked at Clarisse's profile, and Clarisse blushed as she turned to look at him.

"Stop that… you're embarrassing me!"

"I know, and I'm planning on doing that every day, for the rest of our lives… I wish you would realise and accept how beautiful you really are… and you are to me…. Anyway," he continued after Clarisse had leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "I thought we came upstairs to unpack!"

The unpacking didn't take too long- Clarisse couldn't help but chuckle when she saw the difference in the way their clothes had been packed- hers had been packed carefully into her suitcase, while Joseph's had seemingly been tossed into the other suitcase without much thought at all.

"I assume Scott had something to do with this," he said rather sarcastically as he unfolded the tangle of clothes from his suitcase. "I can just see him throwing everything into a suitcase without folding it…Yours, I see, look a lot less wrinkled!"

"Yes, my girls do take care with my clothes," Clarisse said impishly as she hung up another blouse. "I would have wondered if they hadn't, after working for me for so long… I notice that there are some clothes in here that I haven't worn in quite a while!"

"You couldn't exactly were one of your lovely, tailored suits at the beach, could you my dear?" he teased as he placed a stack of his clothes into one of the shelves in the built in cupboard.

"No, I couldn't," she agreed with him. "But I will enjoy not being dressed up- some of those clothes are so very restrictive!"

After they both changed into more comfortable clothes, Clarisse looked longingly out onto the beach again, and Joseph knew what she wanted to do.

"Did you want to go for a walk on the beach?" he asked after a moment, and she beamed happily at him.

"Yes, I would love to… and I know that I'm not going to wear shoes…" she said before she slipped off her shoes, and Joseph laughed.

"I suppose you've never done that before?" he asked as he followed her out of the glass doors downstairs onto the patio, and she chuckled.

"When I was a little girl, I did… but not for a long time since then… I wanted to, though!" she joked ruefully, thinking of the other times she had been out to the beach, and hadn't taken the chance… The last time she had been out here was when Mia and Andrew had had their first appearance as a couple.

It seemed as they were all alone in the world as they strolled down in the mid afternoon sunshine to the edge of the water, and Clarisse squealed slightly as the cold water rushed over her feet. Joseph laughed at her reaction, and she threw him a look before he took her hand in his, and they headed down the beach.

"It feels like we're the only ones in the world right now," Clarisse said softly after a few moments, and Joseph nodded- it was exactly what he had been thinking.

"That's exactly what I was thinking," he said, and she grinned at him.

"I guess we know each other too well…" she teased, and he laughed as he put an arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer. "I wish we had more time… three days seems like too little now," she said wistfully.

"Oh, there was something else I needed to tell you… Mia insisted that we tack an extra day onto this break… today doesn't count, apparently, because we've been travelling, so we've got four full days here. She said, and I quote her directly, 'I don't expect to see you back here until Wednesday night or Thursday morning!'"

"When did she say that?" she asked, looking at him, but laughing as she imagined Mia saying exactly that to Joseph, and secretly rejoicing that they didn't have to go back so soon.

"While you were dashing out to the car to avoid the press, Mia pulled me aside to give me a few more things she thought I needed to know!" Clarisse had to smile to herself

"What a thoughtful girl…"

00

She didn't realise how late it was in the afternoon until, as they headed back towards the house, she suddenly realised that the sun was beginning to disappear over the horizon, and the air was beginning to get chilly.

"What time is it?" she asked as they stepped back into the house, and he slid the glass doors shut behind him before switching on the lights.

"About five thirty… almost time for dinner… So, would you like to sample my infamous spaghetti bolognaise?"

"I'd love it… I've never tried any of your cooking before, besides those sandwiches," Clarisse said as she followed him into the kitchen, ready to help. "What would you like me to do?"

He, however, had other plans as he chivvied her towards one of the stools sitting in front of the bench.

"I don't need any help in the kitchen tonight… you can just sit and watch the master!"

"Don't you trust me to help?" she pretended to pout, and he laughed.

"How long has it been since you cooked something… anything?" he asked pointedly, and Clarisse had to think hard for a moment.

"About… ah… no comment," she laughed, realising that it had been a very, very long time since she had done any cooking. As he rummaged through the cupboards, looking for cooking materials, she glanced around and realised that there were no telephones.

"Where are all the telephones?" Clarisse asked after a moment, and Joseph grinned as he emerged from the pantry.

"Apparently all the phones needed to be removed last week as there was a technical fault with them, so we've only got my mobile phone to rely on!"

"Completely and utterly cut off from the world," Clarisse murmured to herself in wonder, and then smiled happily- she was pleased that they were finally alone.

"I'm glad of it, actually… no one can bother us for the next few days…"

She watched him as he began preparing food, and realised that she wanted to have a shower.

"You don't mind if I have a shower, do you?" she asked as she stood up and stretched, and Joseph smiled at her, touched that she was asking, even though she didn't need to.

For someone who had been alone for so long, she had quickly settled into accepting someone else in her life, and being mindful of their needs and feelings… although he knew that she had always considered his feelings and needs.

"Of course not… take your time!" he grinned- he wanted to surprise her, and it fitted in that she decided to disappear upstairs for a shower.

When she came back downstairs twenty minutes later, she found that Joseph had planned a surprise for her- the table, set for two, had two lit candles in the middle, the lights were dimmed, and there was an open bottle of wine waiting for them. He was just putting a second plate on the table when she came into the room.

"What a lovely surprise!" Clarisse cried with delight as Joseph escorted her to her seat, holding out her chair for her, and she looked down at the appetising meal in front of her as he sat down opposite her.

"And this looks absolutely delicious, Joseph… you are always full of surprises, aren't you?"

"Yes… that's one of the things you will have to get used to… I like surprising people, and I love surprising you!"

He stood up and walked over to kiss her softly, before walking back to his chair and sitting down with a grin. "Now, eat up! You've still got dessert on the way!"

"Yes sir!" Clarisse said impertinently, mock saluting him, before smiling at him and tucking into her food.

Dessert was apple pie and ice cream that Joseph had 'found in the freezer', and Clarisse was full when she leant back in her chair, watching as Joseph poured another glass of wine for her.

"That was wonderful… much better than the food served at the formal dinners I attended!"

"Yes, I always wondered how you could bear to eat any of that," Joe grinned, and Clarisse shrugged nonchalantly.

"I got used to it over the years… but this was fantastic- you really a good cook," she smiled lovingly over at him. "Maybe you might have to teach me some of your secrets…"

"I _could_ teach you a few things, but then I would have to gag you, so I'll think I'll keep my secret… But I will enlist you to help me with the washing up, when that happens…"

"I can do that quite well," Clarisse said calmly before she sipped her wine. "I noticed that there was a television in the living room… did you want to watch anything before we go to bed?"

"Not really… there's an even better one upstairs, with a good collection of DVDs… I think it might be more comfortable to watch something in bed!"

"I've never done that before," Clarisse beamed brightly at him, and he chuckled.

"It's a good habit to get into, and I'm pleased that I can introduce you to it!"

"We really are going through a lot of firsts together, aren't we?" she asked softly, and he leaned over the table and took her hand in his.

"Yes we are… "

After doing the washing up together, they decided to head upstairs to have an early night. While Joseph had a shower, Clarisse changed into her nightgown and casually perused the three shelves of DVDs situated next to the television set.

"What were you thinking about watching?" came Joseph's voice behind her, and she almost jumped out of her skin as she turned to see him, clad in his bathrobe, his pyjama bottoms poking out of the bottom of the robe.

"I didn't think you would be out for a while!" she gasped, and he laughed as he walked over to join her in front of the shelves.

"Unlike you and your granddaughter, I don't need to spend forever in the shower," he teased as he wrapped his arms around her, and she leaned against him for a moment. "So, what have you decided for us to watch?"

"I don't know… I was just looking to see what was here…"

She put the DVD she had been looking at away, and walked over to toss her dressing gown onto the chair near the bed, and look out at the starry night. She was startled (and a little pleased) to hear him whistle and she turned to look at him with a mock stern look.

"What do you think you're whistling at?"

"I was… I was just thinking how lovely you look in that pink nightgown," he said almost shyly, and she blushed as she walked over to him, and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Thank you… you're very handsome in your robe as well," she murmured softly before kissing him. After a moment's pause, the DVD and television were both forgotten as Joseph slowly led her over towards the bed…

00000

The next morning, Joseph woke up and wondered where he was for a moment before, after hearing the sound of the ocean outside, he realised where he was… at the beach house, with Clarisse, his wife! He rolled over to greet her but, to his surprise, her side of the bed was empty.

"Good morning, my love!" came Clarisse's cheerful voice from the doorway of the bedroom, and he turned to see her walking into the room carrying a tray. "I thought that I would do the same for you as you did for me yesterday," she explained as she handed him the food laden tray, and sat down on the edge of the bed with a happy smile.

"That was very thoughtful of you," he said before he put the tray on the bedside table next to him, and pulled her onto the bed to kiss her.

"Good morning, darling," he said after they broke apart, and she smiled a little shyly at him as she sat up on the pillows next to him. "So, what is the plan for today?" he asked as he poured two cups of tea, and handed her one.

"I don't mind what we do… It's such a relief not to have second of the day mapped out for me that I don't care what we do today…"

"Well, you won't be having every second of every day mapped out for you in a few days… then you'll be completely free to do what you want!"

"Hmmm… I wonder what I'm going to do with my time?" she pretended to look puzzled, and then laughed out loud when she saw Joseph's slightly unimpressed expression.

"Will you miss it?" he asked softly, handing her a plate of toast, and she looked thoughtful for a moment.

"I might miss it for a little while… after all, my life has been planned for the past 40 years, both as Princess and Queen, and it's going to feel a little strange not to have it all planned… Still, I think… Actually, I know," she added with a smile at Joseph. "I'm going to enjoy being able to do what I want… with you…."

He leaned over and kissed her tenderly on the lips, and she smiled happily at him before they both got back to their toast.

"So… did you want to watch movies all day in bed… or shall we go to the beach for a couple of hours?" he asked after a moment, and Clarisse smiled happily at him.

"Let's go to the beach… we could go swimming!"

After breakfast, they sat out on the balcony adjacent to their bedroom and looked out at the relatively calm ocean for a little while, before Clarisse decided that it was time to go the beach. She disappeared into the bathroom to get changed, and Joseph waited patiently downstairs for her, a picnic basket packed for the day, before she came downstairs with an excited smile.

"Let's go!"

As soon as they got down to the beach, they decided to go for a swim first, and Joseph's jaw literally dropped when he saw Clarisse's slim figure in the blue swimsuit he had only seen once or twice in the past ten years. Clarisse laughed at his stupefied expression, knowing what he was thinking.

"This is why I don't wear my bathing suit all that often!" she joked as she finished stripping off her clothes, and standing in front of him with a radiant smile.

"I always suspected your reaction would be like this- and I'm flattered- but it's still funny to see you actually act like this now!"

"You're… you're beautiful," he managed to murmur in a soft voice, managing to find his voice again and she laughed as she took his hand in hers and kissed it lightly.

"Thank you…. I bet you I'll beat you to the water!"

They spent much of the day at the beach, swimming, laughing and teasing each other and enjoying the fact that they were alone. They had never had the chance to spend so much time alone together, and although Clarisse was initially a little shy being around Joseph (despite everything that had happened between them in the past few days), they were happier than ever…

There was only a slim chance that anyone would figure out where they were, and no one could contact them, except Mia…. But Clarisse was surprised to discover that she didn't miss the politics and chaos of the palace, and she barely thought about it at all during their honeymoon…

"What was your honeymoon with Rupert like?" Joseph finally plucked up the courage to ask her on their second night there. He had always wondered what had happened on her first honeymoon- surely, in the beginning, they would have cared about each other enough… he had, sadly, been an unfortunate witness to their unravelling marriage over the years….

Clarisse sighed as she looked out the ocean view from their bedroom window, dark stormy clouds looming on the horizon, and cast her mind back to a honeymoon that she barely remembered, with a man she hadn't thought about in years, had been somewhat afraid of (in the early years), and whom she hadn't loved as much as she loved Joseph…

"Well, I was eighteen and just out of high school, so I had very little experience about life and love. Rupert was the handsome Prince of Genovia, heir to the throne, and every girl I knew dreamed of being married to him…"

"What about you?" Joseph asked gently, and she smiled warmly at him.

"Actually, I really couldn't have cared less, to tell you the truth… he was handsome, and kind, but I never dreamed of being his Princess and Queen… Anyway, the wedding was an enormous affair, with at least six hundred people I never heard of as guests… I was shy and afraid, but Rupert looked after me," she smiled in the dark at the memory.

"He knew that I wasn't used to procedures and protocols, and he helped me- something for which I will always be grateful…

Anyway, our honeymoon was a two month trip around Europe, and was a combination of business and pleasure, and it was lovely. I had travelled around when I was a young girl, but this time was different. Rupert did his best to keep me comfortable and relaxed, and I thought that I would have the chance to get to know him better…

Unfortunately, the only time we were really alone was at night- we were literally surrounded by everyone all day, all the time, and I was still getting used to everything… it overwhelmed it a little. It was a lovely honeymoon, but it wasn't what I wanted… I just wanted a few days away from the palace, his parents and his responsibilities to get to know him and even fall in love with him… But, sadly, it wasn't meant to be, and our marriage never really recovered from that beginning….

This, what I'm sharing with you, is what I wanted with Rupert… but, in hindsight, I don't think he would have liked it… he wanted more glamour and to be seen by everyone… This time, however, I am thoroughly enjoying every moment of my honeymoon, and that's because I'm with the man I love- and I know inside out," she said as she snuggled up to him in bed and Joseph put his arms around her.

"I'm sorry… I just wanted to know…"

"And I wanted to tell you," she looked at him earnestly as lightning lit up the room, and Clarisse cuddled up even more. "I'm sorry… I just don't like thunder storms that much!"

"Really… did you want me to shut the curtains, then?" Joseph asked solicitously, and Clarisse smiled at him.

"No, I'll be fine… I know you like to watch them develop and come over…"

She shivered even more as a clap of thunder echoed outside.

"But I really don't like storms, I never have… Anyway," she continued after a pause. "I know you've never been married before, but is this what you imagined your honeymoon to be?"

"Yes… I've always just wanted a few days away with the woman I love… funnily enough, I only ever imagined enjoying this with one person…"

He trailed off as he looked significantly at Clarisse in the dark as lightning again lit up the room, and she smiled tenderly at him.

"I always imagined this with you as well… I don't know how we managed to stay apart over the last few days, and I don't really want to figure out why… But I have to confess that I was lost without you those few days… I actually wondered whether you would ever forgive me for what I said, and what I didn't do…"

"I was lost without you too," Joseph said honestly as he stroked her hair, and she leaned her head against his chest, loving to hear his steady heartbeat. "I thought I might have been able to last without you, but I don't think I could have… I love you, Clarisse… more than you will ever know…"

"I love you too, Joseph," she said softly, and as his lips came down onto hers, the world suddenly faded into the background, just like the storm now above them…


	12. Finally

_Author's Note: FINALLY finished! Thank you so much to everyone who has read and reviewed for this story! Your reviews helped me to keep this story going! Now, onto the next story…_

The next few days were perfect and idyllic- they spent much of the time on the beach, but when there was a rainy day, they spent the day inside, curled up in bed and watching DVDs.

"You were right about this- I am enjoying lying here and watching DVDs!" Clarisse laughed when they got up to stretch after finishing their second film, and Joseph joined in the laughter.

"Will you want to do that when we get back to the palace?" he teased, and she nodded.

"I think that might be option I might be willing to explore when we get back!" she said formally, and then grinned at him.

Unfortunately, the honeymoon soon came to an end, and Clarisse was feeling a little sad on their last night there. They had had so much fun, and were even closer than ever, but she really didn't want to go back to the palace- the past four days had shown her that there was more to life than working, parliament, responsibilities and the country…

All that mattered to her now was her life with her husband. She sighed a little sadly, and Joseph instantly was attentive and concerned.

"What's wrong, darling?"

"Nothing… it's just that this has been such a lovely honeymoon… I wish we didn't have to go back to Pyrus," Clarisse said half contentedly and half sadly, as they curled up in bed and watched the star filled night.

The weather had been perfect for almost the entire break, and the last evening was another warm night, and they had left one of the doors open to hear the sound of the sea pounding onto the sand. Joseph smiled understandingly- he could appreciate why she was feeling the way she was, and found it endearing.

"It has been wonderful… But don't forget- you will be only going back for your final few days as Queen, the ending of a chapter so to speak, and then you'll be free to do what you want… Who knows, maybe we'll come back here for a longer holiday if you wish!"

"I know that, darling, it's just that these few days alone with you have been very special to me, the happiest days in my life, and I don't want it to end. Everything I did back at the palace was watched, and everything I did was judged by numerous people… this has been an eye opener for me, of what I can look forward to as a private citizen," she said as she sat up in bed and looked out at the inky evening and listening to the waves.

"I know how you feel, my love," he said comfortingly, sitting up next to her and putting an arm around her. "These few days have been the happiest of my life as well, but we're starting on a journey together, and it doesn't matter where we are or what we do… all that matters is that we're together… Besides, you never know… we might be able to go on a longer honeymoon once the coronation is over and to somewhere more exotic… I'm thinking maybe Africa!"

Clarisse laughed, feeling better after his comforting words- it was rather silly to feel sad about their honeymoon ending when her reign was ending in a few days, and it was true- it didn't matter where they were, it was more important that they were together.

"Africa? I don't know about that!" she laughed easily. "Going on a longer honeymoon somewhere else might be nice, but this is what I will always consider our honeymoon…" she smiled over at him before leaning over and kissing him softly.

Despite Mia's decree that she didn't expect to see them back until that evening, they had decided to leave just before lunch so that they could get back and settle in before Clarisse's work began again the next day.

"I wonder what's been going on in Pyrus while we've been away," Clarisse said thoughtfully as they strolled down towards the shore, ready to have one last swim in the ocean and walk on the beach before leaving at lunchtime.

"I imagine that it has been quite scandal free without us being there," Joseph joked as they sat down on the sand, and she giggled.

"It's been rather isolating not having any phone calls for the last few days… but has been amazing- that was one of the things I haven't missed!" Clarisse said lightly.

"Yes… but I imagine that the Viscount has probably been airing his opinions about everything in the papers- our marriage would be at the top of his list, I assume, as well as his nephew and the Princess…"

"Perhaps," Clarisse said musingly, looking out onto the horizon for a moment, thinking about the Viscount and how unpleasant he had been to her over the years. "But I somehow think that the press wouldn't have given him the time of day after what happened at the palace… I'm sure that he would have lost credibility after that nonsense at the lake, and then with Nicholas…"

"Well, I won't let you worry about him anymore… the throne is secure, and you're finally safe from his lecherous looks!"

Joseph's arm around her shoulder tightened as he remembered the time on the balcony, when he had nearly attacked her, or the scene between them in the stables. Clarisse looked at him curiously for a moment, before asking something she had been wondering about for a while.

"What happened between you and Viscount Mabrey in the stables that day?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said innocently as he playfully squeezed her shoulders once more before standing up to strip off his pants. Clarisse still sat on the sand and looked up at him pointedly.

"You know what I'm talking about… what did you say to him that made him so angry? I'm only asking this because until then, he was always trying to find excuses to talk to me, but after that, it was almost as if he was avoiding me… which I appreciated, but I just want to know what you said to him.

"Alright, I'll tell you what I said," he sighed heavily as he sat back down on the sand next to her, and took her hand in his. "I told him that if he hurt my girl, in anyway, he would answer directly to me, and whatever happened to him, it couldn't be held against me because of my diplomatic immunity," he finished lightly and he looked away for a moment before looking back at her.

To his surprise, she was laughing silently at him as tears simultaneously filled her eyes.

"That's what I suspected all along… I just wish I had been there to see that!" she had said when she finally calmed down, and leaned over to squeeze his hand reassuringly.

"It was actually quite therapeutic to let my true feelings out with him… We had been circling each other for years about you, and just to tell him the truth really felt good… I suspect he was jealous of me, and I think he thought I had some kind of influence over you…."

"Which you did and do," Clarisse smiled tenderly at him. "I always knew that you were my knight in shining armour, and this has only confirmed what I thought… thank you!"

000

It was a few hours before dark when the black sedan pulled into the driveway of the palace but, instead of pulling up in front of the palace entrance, Joseph had called ahead and the secret entrance to the underground garage was open for them, allowing him to drive into the palace without the press suspecting a thing.

They left the luggage to be collected by several guards, and they strolled through a secret entrance to emerge in the hallway near Clarisse's study.

"Let's go and surprise Mia," Clarisse said happily as they walked, hand in hand, towards the open doors of her study. Just as they arrived in the doorway, they almost collided with Charlotte, who was on her way out with a stack of papers.

"Your Majesty… Joe!" she gasped, before quickly recovering with a broad smile. "Welcome back… we didn't expect you back for at least another couple of hours!"

"Thank you Charlotte… we just thought that it might be best if we came back a few hours earlier," Clarisse smiled warmly at the young woman, and Charlotte was struck by how happy they looked together.

When they had left the palace four days previously, they had been together, and had looked comfortable and happy, but still stunned by what they had done the previous day, but now… four days away had given them time to get even closer to each other, fall more in love with each other, and get used to being married. She suspected that they would be, from now on, literally joined at the hip- but who could blame them?

They looked blissfully happy and in love, and she was almost in tears to see happiness and love radiating from them both. Clarisse smiled adoringly over at him for a moment, and Joseph returned the affection equally, and Charlotte was delighted- thank goodness they had finally found each other again!

"Is Mia in my study?" she continued after a moment, and Charlotte nodded silently before they walked past her inside. Mia, true to Charlotte's word, was sitting at Clarisse's desk and perusing papers, but she stood up with a happy grin when she saw her grandmother and Joseph approach the desk. They looked so happy together, and they looked so cute…

"Welcome back, you two! I can't believe you didn't milk all the time for all it was worth, (I would have done that!) but it's still great to see you back again!"

She hugged both of them happily, and grinned as they sank into chairs opposite hers.

"So… how was the honeymoon for Genovia's favourite newlyweds?" she joked as she sat back down again, and both Joseph and Clarisse laughed in disbelief.

"Genovia's favourite newlyweds?" Clarisse repeated incredulously. "I doubt that very much!"

"No, it's true," Mia insisted. "There was a poll conducted in the newspapers yesterday and, would you believe it, 85 percent of the population thoroughly approves of the marriage… the other fifteen percent were indifferent, but who cares?"

"I don't believe it," Clarisse said, stupefied as she exchanged a surprised look at Joseph before grinning and shaking her head, ready to change the subject. "Anyway, the honeymoon was lovely…" she said with a shy smile as Joseph took her hand in his.

"We didn't want to come back when it was over!" Joseph added, and Mia laughed along with them.

"I can imagine that, especially down at the beach house… perfect weather, no one knew where you were, and no one could get in contact with you… what a dream come true! Maybe I should do that sometime!" but they all knew that she was joking.

After a pause, Clarisse decided to change the subject.

"So, what has been going on here while we've been away?" she asked, and Mia shrugged.

"Nothing much, really… Viscount Mabrey tried to freely air his opinions in the papers for the past few days, but there's been nothing in today's paper… I think that press really don't have any time for him anymore and he really doesn't have any credibility anymore with anyone."

"I told you not to worry," Joseph leaned over and murmured into Clarisse's ear. "What about Andrew?"

"He went back to England for a few days, but he will be coming back for the coronation… We had a long talk after you left, and we decided that we'll work better as friends."

"What about Lord Devereux?" Joseph asked keenly, ignoring or not seeing the sharp look Clarisse threw in his direction. He had told Mia the truth at the wedding because he saw something between them, and he wanted it to work out between them… there was something there, in spite of the arguments they had had, and he had the feeling that Mia had fallen for him, and Nicholas for her.

"I haven't heard from him since that incident at the wedding, so who knows what he's up to," she shrugged lightly again, before opening Clarisse's diary and changing the subject.

"By the way, Grandma, I hate to bring you back to reality so quickly, but there are a few meetings that you need to attend in the next two days- two with Sebastian, one with parliament, as well as the last session of parliament, and the coronation rehearsal as well…"

"I don't mind doing all of that," Clarisse said calmly, smiling at her fondly- she really was beginning to sound like a Queen.

"Oh, and I have a surprise for both of you!" Mia swung around in her chair to retrieve something from a nearby cabinet drawer. She handed to Joseph a book sized package, wrapped in silver and white paper with a matching silver ribbon. "This is for both of you."

Clarisse moved her chair closer to Joseph's as he unwrapped it, and it was a white photo album with the words 'Wedding Album' inscribed in gold on it.

"Oh Mia," she said softly, touching the gold writing on the front for a moment before Joseph opened, and they bent over to look… On the front page was the photograph Andrew had taken of them out in the garden, beaming at each other and completely oblivious to the camera…

"It's in black and white," Joseph exclaimed as he looked closely at the photo, and Mia grinned. She loved putting this together with Andrew and Lily, and she was thoroughly enjoying seeing their reaction.

"We thought that a mixture of black and white photos, as well as coloured, would be lovely… but I prefer the black and white pictures- they look so classy!"

She knew that they weren't listening to her as they turned the pages slowly, looking at each of the photographs and smiling at each other tenderly as they remembered each moment of the day.

"What a beautiful…" Clarisse began, realising that Mia was still there, before she saw the final photo… it was the picture of them kissing in the garden, and it was so beautiful, so simple in black and white, that the tears began to fall from her eyes as she smiled down at the picture. It really was a beautiful picture…

She looked over at Joseph, who was clearly stunned at the picture as well, but he grinned, pleased, over at her and squeezed her hand tightly. Clarisse kept her head down as she wiped her eyes with the handkerchief she had managed to get out of her pocket, before looking up at Mia, her eyes still slightly red, but with a wide smile.

"Thank you, darling… this means more to us than you will ever know…" she choked up again with emotion and Mia only smiled gently at her.

"I thought that you might like it, and Andrew, Lily and I really enjoyed putting it together… no one else saw it, I promise!"

Clarisse and Joe continued staring at the final page for a long time before Mia chuckled.

"I hate to break up this special moment, but Charlotte and I have a little more work to do about the children's shelter, so why don't you guys go upstairs and relax?"

"Thank you Mia…" Joseph mumbled a little shyly as they got to their feet, and Mia walked back around the desk to kiss him lightly on the cheek.

"My pleasure, Joe… anything for you two- you've done so much for me, it's the least I can do!"

"Thank you darling," Clarisse said hesitantly before pulling her close for a long hug, and Mia laughed. "I love it, and I love you for doing this for us…"

"No worries… Now, go and settle back into palace life, and I'll see you later!"

000

They walked rather dazedly upstairs and found that their luggage had been brought up from the car, and the maids were busy unpacking them. After a brief curtsey to their mistress and Joseph, they continued with the unpacking as Joseph and Clarisse sank slowly down onto the couch, and looked disbelievingly at the wedding album in Joseph's lap.

"I can't believe they went to so much trouble with this album… it's beautiful," Clarisse said softly as she tenderly turned the pages over in the album, and her eyes almost filled with tears again when she saw a shot Andrew had taken at the reception, when they had been unaware that he had been taking more photos. In fact, there were a few from the reception that she couldn't remember posing for!

"It is fantastic," Joseph admitted with a bashful grin as he looked at the pictures- Andrew had done such a fine job with all of them, and he hadn't realised how many pictures he had actually taken…

The one thing that a stranger would never doubt when looking at the pictures were how much in love they were at that moment… one could even sense the history between them in the way they looked and smiled at each other.

"You know, I'm sure that the press would have a field day if they managed to get access to even one of these pictures!"

"Which they most definitely won't be," Clarisse retorted quietly as she protectively touched the picture of them kissing. "Yes, Andrew did a fine job with them… maybe we should do something for them, as they took so much time and effort in putting this together…"

"Knowing your granddaughter, she won't accept anything for it" Joseph laughed, and Clarisse suddenly thought of something else and abruptly turned away from the album.

"Why did you ask Mia about Lord Devereaux when we were down in the study? Did you something happen that I wasn't aware of?"

"I… nothing important, it was just that I was curious about whether he had got back in touch with her after the wedding… I hope that she took what I told her seriously… Hey, I guess we were both looking out for Mia that day- you told her to follow her heart, and I told her the truth about Lord Nicholas… Still," he said after a pause. "I hope that they manage to work things out… there was something between them, I think."

"I don't think I ever noticed anything between them except mutual dislike," Clarisse furrowed her brow thoughtfully, and he smiled at her.

"You were far too busy with other matters," he teased, and she laughed as she set the photo album aside and leaned over to kiss him. While she was kissing him, something fell from his pocket, and she looked down at it for a moment- it was his wallet.

"I've always wanted to see your wallet!" she cried with delight as she leant down and picked it up, Joseph chuckling at her reaction. She opened it, and laughed at the photograph of him on his driver's licence before flipping through the rest of it before coming across the picture of her in the final pocket.

"What the… you've kept this photo all this time?" she managed to say as she looked at it, and he smiled as he drew her closer to him.

"Yes… well, it's such a good picture of you, and I couldn't resist keeping it…"

"You never showed me when you got it developed, though," Clarisse contradicted with a smile as she still stared at the photo, before making a split second decision to stand up suddenly and walk towards the bedroom.

Joseph curiously followed her, and sat beside her on the bed as she opened her bedside cabinet drawer and withdrew a picture.

"Since I saw your picture of me, I have a little confession of my own… I pilfered a copy of your security picture from your file a couple of years ago…"

She sheepishly handed him the picture, and he laughed out loud when he saw it was one of the more recent pictures of him.

"I guess we both had our little secrets… but that album," he waved back to the living room where the wedding album was sitting. "Is more important- it's the beginning of the record of our life together…"

"That's the most wonderful thing to know," Clarisse said as she leaned her head on his shoulder with a smile.

* * *

The days leading up to the coronation seemed to fly by in moments, and the palace was a tumult of emotion and excitement- not only was their beloved Queen happily married to the man they all knew she had secretly adored for years (and vice versa), but it was also the beginning of a new reign with their young, compassionate and pretty young Princess. Celebrations in the country had been going on non-stop since the wedding, and Scott predicted that it would peak on the day of the coronation, if not continue on for at least another week.

Mia was getting very excited about her big day, and her nerves were escalating almost as quickly, but Helen, Lily and Clarisse were all very impressed at how she had managed to keep her emotions under control as she gradually began taking over many of Clarisse's responsibilities. Sebastian was also very pleased with Mia, and had told Clarisse so on more than one occasion.

The royal newlyweds, meanwhile, didn't leave each other's sides for a moment unless it was necessary- it was if they were stuck together like glue, but everyone thought that it was adorable. They thought it was cute that Clarisse and Joe also couldn't stop smiling at each other when they were together (and thought no one was looking), as well as wandering around the palace hand in hand.

Clarisse was blissfully happy- she was about to see her granddaughter ascend the throne, and she herself was happily married to the man of her dreams… the papers and meetings she had sign and attend were mere minor details compared to the happiness she had found. Joseph, on the other hand, still had to pinch himself at times to believe that he really was married to Clarisse…

One morning, while Clarisse was in a meeting with Sebastian and going over the details for the coronation, Joseph quietly slipped out to go and find Scott. He felt a little bad that he hadn't had a chance to speak to the new Head of Security and his friend since the wedding, but he was certain that Scott would understand.

He knocked softly and self-consciously on the door frame of the security room, and he was grateful to see that it was empty except for Scott, who grinned and stood up happily as he came in.

"Well, well, well… here finally comes the groom!" he joked jovially as Joseph grinned a little embarrassed, before striding over to shake hands with him. "I was wondering when you would deign to come and visit your old mate from security!"

"I'm sorry about that… I was going to come earlier, but I haven't had the chance…" Joseph began apologetically, ready to explain, but Scott just roared with laughter.

"Not to worry, man! I didn't actually expect to see you at all until after the coronation… I understand that you have a wife now, and she has to come first on your list of priorities… which she has for most of your working life!" he teased as Joe sat down, and Scott retrieved two coffee cups and poured some in each.

"So, how is married life going?" he asked teasingly as he sat down opposite him with a grin. "Wait… we can all see how it's going, but how are you enjoying (or not, if that may be the case) it?"

"I like it very much," Joe said stiffly, before relaxing as he realised that it was only Scott he was confiding in, and he wouldn't tell a soul. "Actually, I love everything about it…"

"Especially being joined at the hip with Her Majesty," Scott added slyly, and Joe only chuckled. "What about the honeymoon?"

"The beach was fantastic, and we really didn't want to come back when the four days were over…"

"I can imagine you wouldn't," Scott said significantly, and Joseph only ignored his comment with a grin.

"So, changing the subject, how is everything going here with you as Head of Security… how's Lionel?"

"Driving me up the wall instead of you," Scott moaned as he rolled his eyes. "I can't believe I'm stuck with him for another month… that wasn't very nice of you to foist him onto me!"

"Don't worry, I'm sure he'll lose interest by the time he returns to school," Joe laughed, relieved that he was no longer in the hot seat. "Anyway, how is everything else going?"

"Everything is going fine here, Joseph…" Scott said seriously, but the grin belied his serious tone.

"However, even if something did go wrong, I was told by Her Highness that, under no circumstances, was I contact you about anything… I suspect that she wanted you two to be completely alone, which you were!"

"You would have handled everything just fine without me… Anyway, I also came here to thank you for everything over the years- not only your discretion about Clarisse and I, but just the fact that you were great to work with, and a good mate in the bargain… particularly lately…" he trailed off as he thought about the days leading up to the wedding.

Scott, also thinking the same thing, smiled gently at Joe.

"Joe, it was an honour and a privilege to be working under and with you, and I know that you will be missed around here… but you will still be coming down here on occasion, won't you?"

"Of course… you don't think I would completely walk away from what I've been doing for the past thirty years or so, do you?"

"Well… I imagine you would have some more interesting distractions… and I'm sure you would much prefer to spend time with your wife rather than a group of men," Scott teased, and Joseph only laughed, knowing that it was true.

"I suppose you're right… incidentally, what happened to that letter I gave you a couple of days ago?"

"Oh, the letter you wanted me to give Her Majesty about your resignation? I threw it away… I wasn't going to let you get away with it that easily, and I'm sure that Her Majesty wouldn't have either!"

"Wouldn't you?" Joseph pretended to act surprised, but was laughing along with him. "I would have liked to have seen you and Clarisse act together to prevent me from leaving… By the way, when I told Clarisse I had been planning on quitting, she told me she wasn't going to let me go without a fight either!"

"I knew I liked that woman for another reason besides the facts that: a) she's so nice and kind; b) she's Queen of Genovia; and c) she's made you happy!"

"Are you trying to bargain your way into a knighthood?" Joe teased, and Scott only laughed.

"No… but Charlotte and I had already agreed that, if you two didn't get back together after the wedding, we were going to have to give you some help in that department… after all, it took you pair over thirty years before you finally, officially, got together!"

000

Clarisse, meanwhile, closed her notebook and smiled half nostalgically and half regretfully at Sebastian and Charlotte sitting opposite her. They had just concluded her final official meeting before the coronation the following morning. The final event on her now almost blank schedule (apart from the coronation rehearsal that evening) was her final session with parliament in two hours, late that afternoon.

"Well, that's it… everything is signed off and finished, and the ceremony for the coronation is ready to go," Sebastian said with a flourish as he shut his notebook, and stood up with a grin. Clarisse followed suit, and composed herself to say what she had planned on saying.

"Sebastian, all I can say is thank you for all your hard work and support over the years, both to myself and my granddaughter… I know that the country will be in good hands with both you and Mia at the helm… I just can't believe that the coronation has finally arrived!"

She wanted to say more, but she somehow couldn't… even though she was looking forward to her new life with Joseph, there was still a part of her that was a little regretful about stepping down, more from the standpoint of having been on the throne for so long. She hadn't imagined what she would do once she stepped down (and now she didn't have to worry), but now that the moment had arrived, she still couldn't believe her new life was about to begin!

Sebastian grinned as he stepped forward and warmly pressed her hands over the desk- her marriage to Joseph had done wonders for her in only a few days… she had somehow softened more over the past few days, which made her look even younger. He knew that it wasn't fair to expect her to continue to reign over Genovia when she had already given so much up for the sake of her people… He himself, as well as Sheila, was over the moon at her personal happiness, and they knew she would be content with Joseph.

"I'll see you at the parliament session this afternoon… and, although I will be making a speech this afternoon, I must say that it has been an honour and a privilege working for you, Your Majesty… Genovia is going to sorely miss you…"

Sebastian bowed again to both women, before making a quick exit out of the study. Clarisse sat down again with a sigh, and looked over her almost empty desk- the paperwork was almost completed, as was everything she had done during the years… there was very little left to do except preside and close the final session of parliament under her reign, and witness the crowning of a new queen.

"Is there anything else you needed me for at the moment, Your Majesty?" Charlotte asked softly, and Clarisse looked up startled. She had forgotten that Charlotte was still standing there, but she knew there was something she wanted to say to her.

"Actually, there is," Clarisse said as she stood and walked around to where Charlotte was standing, before guiding her over to the couch, where they sat down together.

"Is there something wrong, Your Majesty?" Charlotte asked, a little nervous, and Clarisse smiled warmly at the young woman who had been her assistant for over ten years.

"No, there is nothing wrong, Charlotte…" she broke off for a moment, wondering what she was going to say, before suddenly saying: "I hear that you want to become a member of parliament?"

She hadn't intending on saying that, but it seemed like a good opener for what she really wanted to say.

"Yes," Charlotte blushed modestly. "Lily is planning on returning to Genovia after she finishes graduate school in December, and I think it might be time to begin a new chapter as well…"

"You would do very well in parliament, Charlotte," Clarisse said seriously. "You have a solid knowledge of both palace protocol and Genovia itself… I would be very happy to recommend you to both Mia and Sebastian, if you wish…"

"Thank you, Your Majesty… that would be great," Clarisse said modestly again- she had wanted to ask if Clarisse could do that, but she had been surprised that Clarisse herself had offered to do it.

"Anyway, there is something else…" Clarisse looked down at her hands for a moment before looking up at Charlotte again. "I just wanted to thank you for being there the other night… I know I was dreadfully upset, and probably didn't make a whole lot of sense, but… thank you for just being there and listening to me."

She was a little embarrassed about mentioning that evening- it was an evening she would rather forget, but she didn't want to miss acknowledging Charlotte going beyond the call of duty as a personal assistant… she had been a friend.

"It was a privilege, Your Majesty," Charlotte said quietly, thinking back on that night. She had never seen Clarisse as vulnerable and distressed as she had been that night, and she was pleased that she had helped, even if it was only a little.

"It was nothing just to be there… I have to confess that I've known about the two of you for a long time…"

She then told Clarisse about the time she had seen them looking at each other in a certain way, which had confirmed her suspicions, and Clarisse had only laughed at her in amusement.

"I always suspected that you knew about us… But, anyway, thank you for your discretion and loyalty in that area as well… "

"It made me happy to see how blissful you were and are with him, and if I could have done anything for you, I would have… and now, you're going to have all the happiness in the world with Joseph…"

Charlotte was aware of how dry it sounded, and it didn't seem to capture her feelings so much, but Clarisse smiled understandingly.

"Yes, I will…" she looked away for a moment, a dreamy expression on her face as she thought about the lifetime of happiness she would have with Joseph, before smiling at Charlotte fondly.

0000

The final session of parliament was a bittersweet mixture of happiness and celebration (with the arrival of a new Queen), as well as sadness and reflection as Clarisse ended her long reign. Joseph had wondered how she would feel when it came to this day, and he asked her that when they were getting dressed for the final session.

"How are you feeling?" he asked as he shrugged his suit jacket on, and she smiled at him in the mirror- even though he didn't need to dress up, he had put his best navy blue suit on for the occasion, and looked as handsome as ever.

She turned to give him her full attention, and he whistled- she looked stunning in a blue suit that set off her blue eyes and fair complexion to perfection, and she couldn't help but laugh. She hadn't got all that many compliments from Rupert, but she knew that she would never get a negative comment from Joseph about how she looked- he loved everything she wore- and although it still made her feel a little embarrassed, she did appreciate and love his open admiration and adoration.

"I am a little sad that this, for me, is almost over- I've been Queen for so long that it's going to take a little getting used to not being Queen anymore, but Mia is going to make a wonderful Queen. To think, I won't be Queen this time tomorrow afternoon…" she looked pensively out of the window for a moment, before looking at him with a radiant smile.

"But I am looking forward to spending the rest of my life with you which is, if I say it only to you, even better than being Queen…"

She walked over to smile at him, and brushed her hand against his cheek affectionately.

"I'm looking forward to doing the same with you," he admitted as he kissed her gloved hand and squeezed it gently, before she looped her arm through his. "Are you ready for your last session of parliament… ever?"

"Yes, I am," she returned with a loving squeeze of his arm, before she couldn't resist teasing him. "I assume that you're going to be there as well?"

"As if I would be anywhere else when my wife and Queen is farewelling her parliament…" She smiled affectionately at him- she really loved it when he said 'wife' before Queen, because she now felt more of a wife than a Queen…

000

And so, Joseph found himself standing in the public gallery, along with Mia, smiling proudly as Clarisse (after the guards announced her arrival) walked calmly up to her seat. Almost all of the members of parliament were there (Viscount Mabrey conspicuously absent) She greeted the Prime Minister with a smile, sat down and indicated that everyone else could do the same.

"How on earth am I going to be able to follow a class act like her?" Mia murmured next to him, and he turned to her with a smile.

"You won't be following 'an act like her' as you call it, but making your own legacy… and, in case you hadn't noticed, you are more like her than you realise," he murmured in return, and Mia only blushed before they turned back to watch the proceedings.

After the normal business part of the session, Sebastian stood up and, in his capacity as Prime Minister of Genovia, gave Clarisse a warm farewell speech, indexing everything she had done within her reign, both as Rupert's consort, and as Queen in her own right. Joseph had known about a lot of what she had done, but even he was stunned to realise how much she had actually done in her years, and Mia was almost open mouthed with awe.

Clarisse, meanwhile, sat calmly in her chair, slightly embarrassed at having all her accomplishments read out… she almost laughed when she saw the awe and admiration on both Joseph's and Mia's faces, but she managed to contain it.

"…So, on behalf of both the members of this honoured body, as well as the people of Genovia, I would like to thank you for your dedication and devotion to Genovia over the years, and we wish you all the happiness in the world," Sebastian finished before leading the room in a standing ovation, including the public gallery.

Clarisse bit her lip hard, tears welling in her eyes, as she smiled around at the people she had worked with for so long. It was going to be strange to not be doing this any more, but she knew she was ready…

After the applause died down, she stood up, ready to give them a simple speech… she was almost overwhelmed with emotion… so much had happened in the past week that she hadn't had time to think about, but she would eventually think about it.

"All I can say is," she began after taking a deep breath, allowing herself to cool her emotions down. "It has been my privilege and honour to work with such a distinguished and dedicated group of parliamentarians, and I have enjoyed every moment of working with you all, and ruling the country I love so much. I wish you all the best for the future, but I know that you will be in safe hands with Amelia…" she paused, looking directly at her granddaughter for a split second, who blushed hotly.

"Thank you very much," Clarisse finished with a soft smile as everyone started clapping again.

After Sebastian pressed her hand warmly one time, she slowly made her way off her podium and through the crowd of parliament members, smiling at them, and allowing them to press her hand. When she finally made it where Joseph and Mia were standing, beaming proudly, and Mia clapping loudly, Joseph was ready, as had been his habit for so long, to follow her out of the room, but when she looped her arm through his, he knew where his place would be from now on… right next to her.

They walked quietly out of the parliament, the sound of applause ringing in their ears, and Joseph waited until they were walking upstairs before he moved his arm down to her waist, pulling her closer to him.

"You were magnificent, sweetheart… you had all of them eating out of the palm of your hand today… just like you have had them doing for your entire reign!"

Clarisse laughed quietly and looked over at Joseph with a slightly pointed look.

'Not for my entire reign… and I'm sure there are still a few people in there who are on Arthur Mabrey's side!"

"Don't think about that," Joseph said sensibly as the guards opened the door to their suite, and they walked inside. "Who cares about that at all…Mia's got a great deal going for her, and she's going to do great… So, how are you feeling now?"

"Honestly, darling, I may be a little nostalgic about finishing this, but it's more in terms of having done it so long that I can't imagine what I'll do now… but I'm actually rather relieved. I did enjoy what I did, but just dealing with all of those men all the time was just…" she rolled her eyes exasperatedly at the memory.

"I'm just a little concerned that Mia might be intimidated by them at first."

"We both know she's going to do fine… So," he said, changing the subject. "What are we going to do now? The rehearsal for the coronation isn't for a couple of hours… we could go for a walk or…"

"I'm sure we'll think of something," Clarisse said laughingly as she lightly tossed her gloves and jacket onto her empty desk and, taking him by the hand, lead him towards the bedroom…

* * *

The morning of the coronation dawned bright and clear, and Joseph was awake early, thinking about what was about to happen that day. He glanced over at Clarisse, still asleep, who was snuggled up next to him, and wondered how she would feel at the end of the day… although she had been Queen Consort for a good many years of her life, she had been Queen for seven years, which was a long time as well…

The coronation rehearsal the previous evening had been uproariously funny- excitement at the coronation was at fever pitch both inside and outside the palace, and it was hard to keep a smile off anyone's face that evening. Clarisse and Mia had rehearsed for almost two hours, and Clarisse finally decided to finish when Mia slipped off the bottom step and fallen onto her backside. Before anyone could run over to check and see if she was alright, she was laughing almost too hard to be able to stand up, and everyone relaxed when they realised she wasn't hurt.

"I think we've done it enough," Clarisse chuckled as Mia, playing the clown, pretended to limp up the stairs, holding her back and an expression of mock pain on her face. Joseph had been laughing softly from his position, but was relieved when the rehearsal was over. He needed to ask Clarisse about his position close to the podium.

"Why do I have to stand there?" he finally asked when they went back upstairs, and Clarisse beamed happily at him, but there was a slightly puzzled look in her eyes. "I would have been much happier in a corner somewhere, away from the crowd."

"Oh darling, I wouldn't have let you hide in the corner… you are standing in the second most important position in the ballroom because you are one of the most important people in both mine and Mia's lives… You are my husband, and you deserve to have a good spot… And," she added with a sly grin at him. "I may need you to hold me up after the ceremony… I suspect I may need it!"

He grinned as he thought of what had happened the previous evening, and he wouldn't blame her in the slightest when she got emotional… He grinned at her sleeping form for a moment before realising the surprise he had organised for her… He carefully slipped out of bed, before padding quietly out into the living room where the maids had already set up their breakfast on a tray, as well as the vase of red and white roses he had requested, and he slipped a small jewel box onto the tray near the vase.

When he walked back into the room, he found that she was now awake, and sitting up in bed. Her eyes widened with surprise as he carefully put the tray on the bed, and sat the vase of roses on the bedside table next to her.

"What are they…" she began before he leaned over and kissed her good morning.

"Good morning, my love… don't you usually begin your day with a 'good morning'?" he teased when they broke apart, and she blushed even more… she still had to get used to the fact that she was married to him (finally), and she still wasn't used to the intensity of her feelings for him..

"Yes… good morning, darling… but, what are they for?" she turned to look at the roses sitting innocently on the bedside cabinet, and leaning forward to smell them.

"I just thought that I would give you some flowers…" he shrugged carelessly, and she smiled at him.

"Thank you… I love them, and I love you…" she leaned forward to kiss him. She looked down at their breakfast tray, and she then spotted the small black jewel box sitting between their tea cups.

"What's that?"

"Why don't you open it and find out?"

She picked the box up, and slowly opened up and gasped when she saw a small diamond ring, encircled with even smaller diamonds, and a white gold band.

"Joseph… this is beautiful!"

"I know it's rather backwards- we've been married a week, and had our honeymoon, and now I'm giving you an engagement ring… I was going to give it to you that night, but… I thought that I could give it to you now… I know it's not as big as the one Rupert gave you, but…"

"I don't care… I love it more than anything- it's exactly what I wanted!" Clarisse, almost crying with joy, leant over and hugged him, before kissing him.

"Are you going to put it on?"

"I'd be happy to do that…" he replied teasingly as he slipped it on next to her wedding band, and she gazed at the two rings tenderly for a moment, before Joseph changed the subject.

"So… today is the big day… in a few hours, you will no longer be Queen… how does that make you feel?" He pretended to sound like a reporter, waving a pretend microphone in her face, and she waved it away with a smile.

"It feels… wonderful," she said slowly after a moment. "I was ready to leave all of this behind a long time ago, and I can't believe this moment has finally arrived… alright, I'm a little sad, but I'm happy as well… Mia will be a wonderful Queen, and it's time to move on… I just thought that, although I won't be Queen anymore, I will still have a title… your wife!" she beamed happily at him, and he chuckled as he leaned over and nuzzled her neck.

"Much as you wish it was only that, you will always be Queen… and you will always be a Queen to me!"

"Maybe so, but being your wife, and Mia's grandmother, means more to me now than anything else," Clarisse said softly as she stroked his face affectionately.

0000

The morning seemed to fly by in moments as both present and future Queens spent the morning in their respective suites, preparing for the biggest moment in both their lives. Joseph had disappeared while she was getting ready, just to help Scott with a few minor issues regarding the coronation, and he had been stunned into silence when he had come back into the room and saw her. She spun around flirtatiously on the spot for him, and then asked:

"What do you think?" in a flirty tone, and he had just stared at her for a moment before striding over and kissing her decisively. "I guess you like it then," she joked lightly after they broke apart, and Joseph only nodded silently. To him, she was the most beautiful woman in the world…

"I wonder how Mia is feeling," Clarisse said thoughtfully as she sat gingerly down in her chair, now ready to have the crown put on her head. She wished she had had time to see her granddaughter for a few moments before the coronation, but there simply hadn't been any time…

"I'm sure she's fine… but how are you?" he asked as he pulled a chair to face hers, and took her hands in his.

"I'm ready… I want this all to be over so that I can get on with my life… with you," she said softly as she squeezed his hands in return. He was about to lean over and kiss her again when there was a discreet knock on the door, and Charlotte entered when bidden.

"Your Majesty…it's time to get into position."

"First, I'll need to have the crown put on," she pointed over to the crown sitting on a velvet cushion on her desk. "And I would like my husband to put it on," she smiled up at Joseph with a smile, and chuckled when she saw the stunned and nervous expression on his face.

"I don't know, Clarisse… surely there would be someone else who could… maybe Charlotte?" he stuttered, a little unnerved by putting the crown on her head.

"Joseph…" Clarisse took both his hands in his, and pressed them against her warm cheek, looking up at him with her big blue eyes. "I want you do this… I want you to finish this journey with me… you're one of the few people I love more than anything, and I want you to be involved in this…" she looked at him with pleading eyes, and he knew that he couldn't resist her.

"Alright…"

He carefully carried the crown with both hands across to where she was sitting, and he gently placed it on top of the tiny coronet that was already there. "Does that feel alright?"

"Perfect," Clarisse said with a smile as she gently touched it before holding her hand out to his, and he helped her up from the chair. "I just forgot how heavy it could be… Charlotte, could you meet me outside?"

After Charlotte disappeared, she smiled at him happily, and he longed to take her into his arms and kiss her again, but he was more than a little nervous about the crown.

"I love you," Clarisse murmured, softly stroking his cheek with her hand. "In just over two hours, I will be Mrs Joseph Bonnell, and that's who I will be forever…"

"I love you too," Joseph said as he pressed her hand to his lips for a moment. "You may be Mrs Bonnell, but you will also be a Queen, no matter what you say…"

00

The coronation was a wonderful moment, and Clarisse was incredibly proud of Mia's poise and lack of nervousness as she descended the stairs, and then sat on the throne with no disasters whatsoever. Clarisse herself was self conscious as she walked down the stairs, careful not to slip at all, but when she finally made it to the bottom, she threw a look at Joseph, who smiled proudly back at her. To her surprise, Lord Nicholas Devereaux was standing beside him, his eyes on Mia…

She felt lost, momentarily, when the Archbishop removed the crown off her head, and she hadn't realised that she had been holding her breath until she let it out… but when she stepped back to watch the ceremony, she knew it was the right moment and the right time…. As Mia walked down through the guard of honour, Clarisse blindly grappled for Joseph's hand and squeezed it tightly… she was finally free…

"You were wonderful," he murmured into her ear as Mia moved to greet the parliamentarians, and Clarisse beamed at him with a broad smile. She had been rather lost for a moment, but Joseph's proud smile made her feel better as Joseph beamed at her, prouder of her than she would ever know.

"Thank you," she replied softly before they stood back and watched Mia greet her people…

The rest of the day seemed to slip by in moments, but Clarisse was more than happy for Mia to have all the attention, but Mia wouldn't allow that… when she went out onto the balcony to greet her people, she insisted that Clarisse be at her side.

"Why…" Clarisse began as Joseph gave her an encouraging nudge in the right direction, and Mia only grinned at her.

"You're still a Queen too, and this is your day as well…"

Mia disappeared soon after to meet with the press, and pose for more photographs before the celebratory ball that night. Clarisse was feeling a little drained as she and Joseph headed upstairs, but as she looked out her windows at the garden, she suddenly felt better… She had liked her life as Queen, but she was looking forward to living her own life, with Joseph…

The ball that night was a wonderful success, and while Mia, with Nicholas at her side, was definitely the centre attention, Clarisse and Joseph managed to attract a fair few curious glances of their own.

"I would have thought that they would have accepted our marriage by now," Clarisse murmured into her ear as they sat at their table, sipping champagne and watching Mia dance with Sebastian Motez.

"Ah, but most of them haven't had a chance to see us as a couple… we've been a rumour for many years, and they still can't believe their eyes that we're actually together!" Joseph pretended to sound wise, and Clarisse chuckled along with him.

"By the way…" she lowered her voice as she looked at Mia, and Nicholas who was watching from the sidelines. "Is it just me, or is Mia in love with young Lord Devereaux?"

"No, it's not your imagination… they really do care about each other, and I'm glad for them."

"Me too," Clarisse said thoughtfully. "I just hope that the press leaves them alone…."

After the dance, Mia immediately came and sat down next to Joseph with a tired grin.

"So, what did you think of the entire day?" she asked as a waiter came over with a glass of champagne for her, and she accepted it gratefully.

"It was a wonderful day… I was very proud of both you and your grandmother…" Joseph squeezed Clarisse's knee affectionately under the table, and Clarisse blushed.

"You were both so beautiful, I think it would be very hard to say who was more beautiful…"

"Don't worry, Joe, I know who you think is beautiful… and I have to agree with you there," Mia said slyly. "Grandma really did look beautiful today, but it's also mostly because of you…"

"Mia!" Clarisse exclaimed, blushing, but Mia only laughed at her reaction. "You were beautiful as well today, darling, and you're going to make a fantastic Queen…"

"All because of you two," Mia leaned over and squeezed their hands. "If you hadn't come to San Francisco to tell me the truth 6 years ago, and if you hadn't been so wise and never gave up me, I wouldn't have had all this… it's been hard, but things that are hard are often the most worthwhile… so, thank you… both of you!"

She glanced over to where Nicholas was grinning at her, and she turned back with a sheepish grin.

"I'd better go… I'll see you later…"

They watched as she dashed over the dance floor to where Nicholas was waiting, and the look they gave each other told both Clarisse and Joe what they had suspected.

"So… would you like to dance?" Joseph asked as he looked around the dance floor- they had already danced several times that night. Clarisse glanced at her watch for a moment, and then smiled tiredly at him.

"I would love to, but I think I may be a little too tired for that…. But thank you anyway…"

"Did you want to sneak out here?" he asked, and the mischievious smile that answered his question told him what she wanted to do.

With very little fanfare, and no one noticing them, they quietly snuck out of the room and the door closed behind them with a quiet snap.

"We did it!" Clarisse cried victoriously as they began walking down the hallway towards the stairs, and she cuddled up close to him.

There was a long pause before Joseph asked:

"So…. What are we going to do now?"

"Anything we want, darling," Clarisse said with a happy laugh as she led him into the suite, rejoicing over the fact that there was no more restrictions on her time, and no one that she had to please anymore, except Joseph. They really were going to live happily ever after, even though they had never imagined it could happen to them… "Anything we want!"

"All I want is to be with you," Joseph murmured as he encircled her waist with his arms, and she put her arms around his neck.

"That's all I want too… so that's all that matters…. Do you think we're going to live happily ever after?"

"I think… no, I know, we will, Mrs Bonnell… I know we will… FINALLY!" he added with a grin, and they both laughed at the memory of them at the altar, James murmuring that under his breath.

"Finally!" Clarisse murmured happily as he bent down slightly and began kissing her softly.

"Finally," he finished with a smile as he led her towards the bedroom…


End file.
